patrick.net

Well at least he died as he lived.

His final words were...

buzz-z-z-pleazeeee-zzz-help-z-z-z-me-z-z-z

A 50-year-old British man died earlier this year after a vibrator became stuck in his rectum, a coroner's inquest heard Tuesday. Nigel Willis, who was unemployed and lived with his elderly mother, was rushed to Lewisham Hospital on Dec. 30, 2013 after the sex toy got stuck inside him for five days.

Willis, who was diabetic, became progressively weaker, and was unable to move from his couch during that time. He only sought assistance after a friend learned of the problem and begged him to get help.

Doctors said that the vibrator had perforated the man's bowel. Willis developed septic shock and suffered multiple organ failure, the coroner ruled. His condition deteriorated over a lengthy stay in the ICU. He died Feb. 7.

---------Strategist says:
So what can we learn from this?

Call it Crazy says

What's the matter honey??

You guys need family counseling.

Why do conservatives always think they are winning despite all evidence to the contrary?

Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah-hah, honey honey
I'd heard about you before
I wanted to know some more
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine
Oh, you make me dizzy

A little old lady goes into a sex shop, shaking like she has Parkinson's walks up to the counter and says to the assistant,
"Young maaaan, have you got a viiiibraaaatoor?"
He's a bit taken aback and not sure if her heard her correctly because of her shaky voice, but he picks out a modest-sized model and places it on the counter.
"Nooooo, nooooo, bigger than thaaat"
So he brings her the next size up.
"Noooooo, noooo, bigger than thaaaat"
This happens a few times until finally he places the biggest vibrator in the entire shop on the counter. It's eighteen inches long with a girth that would make even Jenna Jameson's eyes water.

"Yeeeees, yeeeees, thaaaat's the one. Hoooow do you tuuuurn it off?"

Who needs a vibrator when Democrats & Republicans will gladly tear one a new asshole. They've become very proficient.

The strange thing is, he only went to the hospital to have the batteries changed.