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The Night My Husband Revealed To Me His Double Life
invite response
2015 Mar 16, 8:42pm 53,204 views 178 comments
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justme
2015 Mar 21, 5:49pm
the basic contradiction is the one above: how dare you assert you are in any way better than me, and you damn well better be better than me in most ways, or you're not getting any!
+100
that's the more outspoken way of putting it.
most men think: wtf?
Most men think WTF, but I also believe that only a small fraction of them (5% ?) really understand what is going on, and how insane it is. But the percentage is growing, and when it reaches 50% there will be change.
Rin
2015 Mar 21, 5:59pm
Most men think WTF, but I also believe that only a small fraction (5% ?) of them really understand what is going on, and how insane it is, But the percentage is growing, and when it reaches 50% there will be change.
That realization may take a couple of generations but during that time period, virtual reality environments and sex androids will come online and even more men may opt out completely, as a result.
Let's face it, a robot with all of one's hobbies/interests programmed in, will outperform any regular person, in addition to the sexual services.
Bigsby
2015 Mar 21, 7:33pm
note the excellent correlation of the rise in feminism with the rise in divorce rates.
If you are blaming feminism for better equality in law, then fine, feminism is to blame, but that doesn't appear to be what you are saying. Divorce rose primarily because it was made easier under the law both in terms of the process and financially (and no doubt also because of a decline in the social stigma attached to it). Divorce rates in England and Wales doubled between 1961 and 1969 from 25,000 to 51,000. The Divorce Reform Act of 1969 made divorce easier and rates rose to 120,000 by 1972. Rates then continued to rise until 1994 but have since returned to the 1972 levels even though the population has risen 8 million, there is greater workforce participation, greater expectations of equality, even less stigma....
The slight decline in divorce count in most recent years is due to collapsing marriage rate in the 20-50 age group.
Bigsby
2015 Mar 21, 7:43pm
The divorces per thousand are declining, so the decline is both in number and in percent. I'm sure there are plenty of reasons for that, but the story certainly isn't all about ball busting feminists. The number of cohabiting couples has risen greatly in the UK, so apparently people are still interested in relationships, but are just less tied to a traditional approach.
The divorces per thousand population are declining primarily because less marriages per thousand;
The divorces per thousand marriages may also be declining because people, especially men, are avoiding getting married to begin with, so only the faithful and idealistic are self-selecting to get married.
Bigsby
2015 Mar 21, 8:37pm
The divorces per thousand population are declining primarily because less marriages per thousand;
The divorces per thousand marriages may also be declining because people, especially men, are avoiding getting married to begin with, so only the faithful and idealistic are self-selecting to get married.
In recent decades in the West, marriages generally haven't been arranged, aren't a social requirement prior to having children, are less of a financial necessity etc.., so I presume the driving force for many is that general vague idea of a life time commitment. That's been true over the period we've been discussing. Your assertion about the reason for the decline in divorces is just that. How about it being about the fact people are delaying marriage and so are more mature now than a few decades ago - maybe the decision is actually less idealistic than before. Who knows - I'm sure there are a myriad of reasons.
And more to the point, the thrust of the argument on here seems to be about a breakdown in the relationship between men and women (with divorce being the go to manifestation of this), but as I said, you could argue that one form of monogamous relationship has simply been replaced by another for many, cohabitation instead of marriage. The former has risen by 30% over the last decade in the UK.
Patrick
2015 Mar 21, 9:56pm
you could argue that one form of monogamous relationship has simply been replaced by another for many, cohabitation instead of marriage
sure, as men figure out that there is no longer any benefit to them in marriage, they refuse to enter any legal commitment. perfectly rational.
Bigsby
2015 Mar 22, 2:58am
sure, as men figure out that there is no longer any benefit to them in marriage, they refuse to enter any legal commitment. perfectly rational.
Plenty (all?) of the same issues will arise with cohabiting as they do in marriage and more than likely the law will reflect that given time, or else people will make use of cohabitation agreements to fill the gap.
lostand confused
2015 Mar 22, 6:19am
The former has risen by 30% over the last decade in the UK
There is a reason. You don't have big brother controlling your life down to the last cent. Feminazis of course are trying to make cohabitation the same as marriage and in quite a few places-one owes palimony.
This idea that you owe half for ever is just silly. Take Hulk Hogan-a lifetime of injuries, gym workouts, possible steroids and the ex ends up with 70% of their assets and he is alone. She wa snot asked to do 70% of the household chores for the next 30 yrs. Not that she did any-with their money, she just enjoyed it. Feminazis asked for equality and they got it-now get equality in everything and be treated as an equal. A man is expected to stand on his own and now so should a woman. Enough of the safety net. Woman can run for president, can join the armed forces/police etc etc-well then you are an equal and be responsible for your own life-be responsible for your choices. A small transitory support for a few years is fine-but that is it.
Given the feminazis history, I wouldn't be surprised if they come up with a rule saying if you are not married or not cohabiting, then you have to maintain the hookers in the lifestyle they want to be maintained. They have successfully transformed a woman from mom to the whore.
MisdemeanorRebel
2015 Jul 24, 12:24pm
My solution would be to ban No Fault divorces, except by mutual agreement, and only then if there are no children under 18.
You have kids, you shouldn't be able to get divorced unless there is substance abuse, physical abuse, total abandonment, etc.
Think about it, what other agreement/contract in life can one party unilaterally walk away from a contract that includes a total intertwining of financial arrangements (to say nothing of emotional, physical, etc. entangements) and actually get *Rewarded* for it.
I'm really sick of the way the media bullshits about how divorce is important for the parents' mental health, but the kids will get over it. Studies show divorce does a helluva job on children, and effects their ability to form relationships (inc. non-sexual ones) later on in life.
Adults need to suck it up for the kids, and stay married.
An alternative solution to the ban on No Faults would be "Whomever files for the no fault divorce automatically does not get custody of the children." Why reward the person who chose to dissolve the divorce?
Do this and I guarantee a big drop in the divorce rates.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/divorced-moms/the-night-my-husband-revealed-his-double-life_b_6858392.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592
Excerpt from article:
"Number one," he says, looking down at his paper, "About 10 years ago, when we'd been married a couple of years, I had an affair. It was someone in radio, someone I knew from being in the band, and I ended it pretty quickly."
My heart thuds. Not Dave! He's not the type! I cling to the words 10 years ago, and I ended it. Ok, a youthful mistake. I can take it! Plenty of couples get through this. But Dave goes on.
"Number two: I've been using escorts on my business trips." A sound rises in me, a roar that sounds like no, no, no. Flashes of soulless, transactional sex assault me but I refuse to look at them. I stare straight ahead, not blinking, not breathing.
"You know what escorts are, don't you?" he adds, and here a rabbit hole opens and swallows me. I feel myself sinking to the floor, reaching for the hardwood, but it seems to slide away from me. The surreality of his confession combined with the absurdity of the question short circuit something in my brain. Do I know what escorts are?!!
Waves of heat and nausea wash over me. "I'm going to be sick." I begin peeling off my sweatshirt. Dave doesn't move and I know there's more.
"Say it! Just say it!" I cry, not meaning it. I have to get away! I consider crawling under the table but feel too dizzy to move. I stay on my knees, gripping my thighs.
"Three weeks ago," he says, "when I was in Las Vegas, I met someone..."
But I'm undone. Unloosed. Unhinged. Have you ever felt the sky fall? It's unbearably heavy when it breaks. You feel the weight of the air, every molecule of it, pressing down. I scramble on the floor in a sort of stunned crab-crawl. I can't get up. I'm being crushed, suffocated. White-hot, blinding terror envelops me like a blanket and I'm sure I'm going to die. Dave does nothing to help me and that's when I know I'm already gone, that I must never have existed.
When I come back into my body (Moments later? Minutes?) Dave is talking, saying something about moving upstairs. I hear the words committed father. I don't understand. How could he move upstairs? Our tenant lives there. What is he talking about? What about me?
His explanations, like blades, whiz toward me, each one pinning me to a wall. He throws again and again: He spent 12 hours with a woman named Allison in Las Vegas. He's in love. She lives in Texas. He wants to visit her. He will ask our tenant to leave. He will move upstairs. He would like to wrap things up with me in four weeks. He is going to leave the house right now because he needs to call Allison. She's waiting to hear from him.
I watch him walk out the door and panic overtakes me. I'm up now, pacing and flailing my arms, trying to feel my body. I have to stay present. I'm alone in the house and my children are sleeping in their beds and I cannot faint or scream or lose it. I begin to cry but it's more of a moan. Someone help me! I grab my phone and call my friend and neighbor Abigail. No answer. I try my college friend. No answer. My brother. No answer. I consider calling my mother but know she'll be sleeping and this news will keep her up all night. I don't know what to do. I don't know how much time passes, but finally I realize I have no one to call but Dave.
"You have to come home," I say when he finally answers. "Please come home. Don't leave me here alone."
By the time he gets back I've pulled myself together. I've found a way to frame this. Dave is having a crisis and it's up to me to pull him back from the ledge.
I will be our rock. And like a rock, I will not think. I will not feel."