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It's official. We Irish have defeated humanity. It's been a long and difficult battle, but we've finally wiped humanity off the face of the Earth. So anyone left on this planet must be a butt-pillaging ballsweat demon.

Same-sex marriage: Irish vote 'defeat for humanity' says Vatican official

"I think that you cannot just talk of a defeat for Christian principles, but of a defeat for humanity."

After all, the only alternative to this dystopia vision is that religion is a stain on the world's taint that masquerades bigotry and ignorance as morality and holds back the moral and ethical advancement of society.