patrick.net

http://www.theonion.com/graphic/how-gop-can-appeal-women-51055

- Make it clear that they think everyone, not just women, should receive less health care
- Offer direct, heartfelt apology to any female donors they may have offended
- Clarify that their war on women is really more of a limited-scale combat engagement on women
- Remind voters that they’ve been nothing but nice to their secretaries
- Redesign elephant mascot to feature wider hips and lush, batting eyelashes
- Simply repurpose time-tested GOP strategies for courting Hispanic, black, low-income, and millennial voters
- Deflect attention from party’s opinions on women by reminding voters they have dozens of other equally horrendous views
- Don’t lump all women into one category, but rather acknowledge female voters as individual baby-producing apparatuses
- Emphasize how cutting taxes for large corporations would benefit all women who happen to run large corporations
- Start search for presidential candidate over from scratch