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Do boys or girls handle it better?


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2015 Oct 13, 9:10pm   18,296 views  45 comments

by turtledove   ➕follow (10)   💰tip   ignore  

I have a single, gay male patient who wants to have a child through donor egg and a surrogate. He and I spent the morning together, and he asked me some questions I found surprising.

He's planning to do Pre-implantation Genetic Screening (PGS) on his embryos before transfer. First, he will know which embryos are competent. But second, he will learn the sex of each embryo. He asked me if I thought that a male or female child would be better able to handle having a single, gay father.

I was caught a little off guard. No one has ever asked that question before. I said that a child who is loved doesn't care if his father is gay or straight. Was that right? Do you think that a male or female child would be inherently better equipped to handle this kind of thing? If you, as a little boy, had a father who was gay would you have found that especially difficult as a male who, perhaps, didn't fully identify with his father?

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41   turtledove   2015 Oct 14, 10:48pm  

Ceffer says

I would rather have a gay parent than a fanatically religious parent any day.

Well said.

42   curious2   2015 Oct 14, 11:47pm  

P N Dr Lo R says

Both straight and gay single parents routinely have [...] not an insignificant number of them wind up on the autopsy table.

This comment reminded me of a news story about yet another religious family killing one of their own on behalf of their imaginary friend. Religion is fundamentally about transference: transfering the feelings that a person would normally have for a spouse or children or parents to an invisible deity, which is purportedly omnipotent but seems unable to speak without the help of a human charlatan. (The charlatan then demands payment for channeling said paradoxically inchoate omnipotence, making the business model very lucrative.)

The fundamental transference sets up a context where blame can likewise be shifted to imaginary villains. I find it hard to believe that "P N Dr Lo R" (a reference to old car transmissions) can name a significant number of single parents who "wind up on the autopsy table" due to rough trade, but religious violence claims countless lives every year. All three Abrahamic faiths extol the story of Abraham, who stood ready to murder his son due to voices in his own head; sadly many Muslim families have continued to practice child sacrifice, which they call "honor killings". Since the whole point is to reward and empower counter-factual beliefs, the believers can eagerly blame all troubles on others, and imagine that the outside world must be a frightening and dangerous place, thus keeping the flock in line.

43   New Renter   2015 Oct 19, 9:48am  

lostand confused says

errc says

The guy knows it will be a hard experience, filled with suffering, yet he's selfish enough to go through with it anyways.

Tell that ASSHOLE to adopt!

Huh, why should he adopt. A child is a child-so it is ok for an adopted child to be filled with suffering?? When I lived in Los Angeles, there are the rabid pet adopting advocates who scream bloody murder if you try and buy a purebred pet. They scream that by doing so you have sentenced a dog in the shelter to death and the more rabid nuts will call you a murderer.

I am seeing the far lefties start mouthing the same thing about kids nowadays-there are millions of starving kids-adopt one, the world does not need one more human.

There is something about watching your own genes pass on, to see your family's characteristics in the kids. more power to the dude.

Wow, talk about apples to oranges!

44   anonymous   2015 Oct 19, 10:34am  

I find it hard to believe that "P N Dr Lo R" (a reference to old car transmissions

------------

That had always escaped me, until now. Thanks

45   Y   2015 Oct 19, 3:25pm  

I'm 100 miles from the nearest body of water.....I miss it.

curious2 says

SoftShell's comments are intended merely as bait:

SoftShell says

i just wanted to get a rise outta you, and I did.

my post was successful for it's intended purpose. hehehe...

now go ahead and feel free to bash me, i'm off to rebait my line...

What others would call trolling, SoftShell likens to fishing.

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