patrick.net

https://babylonbee.com/news/jimmy-kimmel-sends-tonights-jokes-to-president-xi-for-approval

LOS ANGELES, CA — According to inside sources, comedian Jimmy Kimmel is currently running tonight's Jimmy Kimmel Live! jokes by CCP President Xi for approval, as is his daily custom.

"We have a tremendous round of hilarious jokes for you, O Most Excellent Xi," a nervous Kimmel was overheard saying. "Tonight, I'm going to tell a good one about how President Trump smells like poop. And then I'll tell unvaccinated people to die! Funny, right?"

"Ha Ha Ha. Yes, Jimmy. Velly funny," Xi replied.

Sources say the leader of China benevolently approved all Kimmel's jokes but required him to add at least one hilarious quip about how anyone who says COVID came from the Wuhan lab is a vile racist who should be sent to a Chinese concentration camp.

"Oh, that is a hilarious one, Your Worship!" exclaimed the beloved late-night host. "We will add it to our show right away! Thank you for your most valuable feedback, O Handsome One Who Looks Nothing Like Winnie The Pooh!"

At publishing time, Kimmel was seen running the remainder of his show by several Pfizer execs.

Dan8267 says

Blurtman says

Is Jimmy Kimmel a weepy cuck?

Are you offended that a man cried or that his speech was damn effective at showing what scum Republicans are?

The "Affordable" Health Act was passed under a Democratic congress with a Democratic president. People are stupid to think one party is different than the other at this point. No matter how fucking obvious it is, you can't see it.

This is fake news. Kimmel runs all his skits past the Swiss Octagon, and occasionally, a surly Masonic Overlord from Chatham House. Xi only gives feedback when jokes about organ donors are on the agenda.

clambo says

Only Maher has some redeeming qualities.

I know old comment. I agree/disagree. He's playing to his audience all the time. Wants to be edgy and pandering. Basically push but not too far on either side. He's smart in that he knows if he goes woke he loses 25% of his audience at least. Basically I look at Maher more as an actor than an actual intelligent host.

Everyone here doesn't have writers for them. He does. So we really don't know where he personally stands outside of his publicly displayed persona. He also just has a shit personality and demeanor in my opinion. As in my previous comment he at least isn't Kimmel that flipped from having a show with bikini clad chicks bouncing on trampolines to this woke fag. So Maher get some credit there. He's stuck to his morals basically. I can respect that.

Booger says

You don't have to talk men into voting for Trump, I already have.

Booger says

Enjoy Europe Kimmel. Far worse than America you Hollywood moron. You're a millionaire and I promise you have no clue about European politics. Far worse than here you fucking cry baby.

You had a platform that you got 209k prime demo viewers a night (18-49). Podcasters can get more than that daily. He's irrelevant. No one will miss him.