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Patrick says

If You Care About Privacy, Throw Your Amazon Alexa Devices Into the Sea

Why would I want to send them soothing ocean sounds when they can be subjected to rancid rap?

You could talk about how you read on the internet about Bezos sending dick pics around to Alexa.

FB on your cellphone does the same thing.

The scumbag waitress at Denny's stole my iPhone last night. I know I left it on the table. I called back 15 minutes later, and was told someone sat down before we bussed the table. Then I was told to go to Apple use find my phone. How did they know it was iPhone I didn't tell them. Then when I called my phone it was turned off.
This morning I went to the Denny's and told the Manager, he was not happy with her. Hopefully she'll get fired. Steal someone's phone, what kind of lowlife Obamaphone recipient walefare queen does that?

So I had to go Metro PCS to buy a new phone this morning. They have this curious device you plug into your car, it gives you only 2gigs of data. But in the meantime reports every fucking thing the world about your car and what you do, how you drive, where you go. For $10 for the device and $10 a month. I wasn't getting the promotion price for my new phone because I'm not due. So I was going to have to pay full price. She came back from the stock room after getting the phone and then tries to sell me this Car WiFi hotspot device. That benefits them more than it will benefit the buyer. Said if I bought it they would also give me the promotional price on the phone. I refused, and said not only am I not buying it, I recommend you never put it in your car. Then demanded the promotion on the phone for pulling such a cheap scam.

https://notthebee.com/article/advertisers-are-now-trying-to-infiltrate-our-dreams-and-im-starting-to-wonder-if-black-mirror-is-just-a-documentary

Even more creepy: we talk in a miserably small, obscure language in house with my wife (less than 5 M speakers in whole damned world). So one evening we talked about buying ladders. Next day her facesucker shows ads for ladders. We dont have alexa or other spy devices, so it must be her apple computer or phone spying on us as all my devices are off at all times. Phone is android

https://babylonbee.com/news/amazon-introduces-alexa-powered-robot-that-can-slap-controversial-books-out-of-your-hands

Seattle, WA - Unsatisfied with control of 83% of the global book market, Amazon today introduced a new robot for the home that could recognize and yeet any books containing misinformation, whether they were bought from the corner bookstore, borrowed from Dennis Prager, or dug up from your prepper cousin’s time capsule stash that you were sure was a crazy idea three years ago.

“We’re excited to introduce yet another revolutionary smart home innovation,” said Jeff Bezos, speaking via video link from his orbiting Amazon Happy Family Dream Station Satellite and Death Laser Platform. “With almost total control over any printed material in any household, we can guarantee that your smart home will never be too smart. Bwa-hahahahahaha!”

Dubbed the “cAstro,” the device features all-terrain wheels and an extendable titanium slapping hand that’s capable of dislodging even the largest copy of “Free to Choose.” It’s infrared camera can locate copies of “When Harry Became Sally” in almost total darkness, even if it’s wrapped in a “White Fragility” book jacket and buried under a pile of Barack Obama autobiographies.

Amazon did not release a retail price for the robot, but a company spokesperson said that they weren’t concerned about price because market research has shown that Americans will buy almost any device as long as you can use voice commands to tell it to make fart noises.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Yeet

Yeet
To discard an item at a high velocity

That's a new term for me.

Next: castrato robot that will grab your nuts and snip when you download porn. You can then claim tranny exemption.

Ceffer says

Next: castrato robot that will grab your nuts and snip when you download porn.

Then it will offer to sell you "neuticles."

https://notthebee.com/article/are-you-ready-to-read-the-most-horrifying-thing-youll-read-all-day

I watch a guy on YouTube Rob Braxman.
He’s all about internet privacy.

Bd6r says

Even more creepy: we talk in a miserably small, obscure language in house with my wife (less than 5 M speakers in whole damned world). So one evening we talked about buying ladders. Next day her facesucker shows ads for ladders. We dont have alexa or other spy devices, so it must be her apple computer or phone spying on us as all my devices are off at all times. Phone is android

My cat's name was Artemis. I mentioned her name one day.

Next day, my kindle was full of ads for the guy who wrote "The Martian" new book, "Artemis".

I buy no science fiction whatsoever and except for an old used trade paperback of Dune, own no sci fi books.

AmericanKulak says

Bd6r says

Even more creepy: we talk in a miserably small, obscure language in house with my wife (less than 5 M speakers in whole damned world). So one evening we talked about buying ladders. Next day her facesucker shows ads for ladders. We dont have alexa or other spy devices, so it must be her apple computer or phone spying on us as all my devices are off at all times. Phone is android

My cat's name was Artemis. I mentioned her name one day.

Next day, my kindle was full of ads for the guy who wrote "The Martian" new book, "Artemis".

I buy no science fiction whatsoever and except for an old used trade paperback of Dune, own no sci fi books.

Yeah, these are spy devices.

I told my business partner's wife that is what Alexa was, and she dismissed me as crazy. I told her and her husband to talk about the new puppy they were about to get (they will never own a dog) and told them to see what happens. Well, they did, and they got adds for puppy chow and so on.

I'm kind of irritated with my business partner, he still thinks I'm "paranoid" even when I put him through exercises like this to show I'm not. I know people that work on this shit, he doesn't, he doesn't know, he doesn't believe me that I know, because I don't share my circles of contacts with him because despite him being an MIT graduate, they'd consider him hopelessly naive and stupid.

I had lunch with him this weekend and I brought up the Ukraine/Russian war and he said "wow, you've been listening to Russian propaganda!". I've known him for 20 years, I've been right about the Iraq War, the Libyan bombing, Afghanistan, but he still doesn't believe me with Syria (he still believes the US went in there to stop a civil war because he paid good money to read The Economist) and I just let it pass. He LEGITIMATELY believes that Europe can do a "green energy revolution" and will have no need for Russian energy, they'll just spend a trillion dollars on this, and the problem will somehow be magically solved, because enough money breaks the laws of fundamental physics and so on.

In 2 years, I'm going to send that email back to him. Hope the war with Ukraine is over by then. If it's not, I might be learning to speak Russian or Mandarin..

https://ground.news/article/amazon-fixes-error-after-alexa-promotes-harris-over-trump_a31a2b

Amazon Fixes ‘Error’ After Alexa Promotes Harris Over Trump

Error my ass.

https://babylonbee.com/cleanArticle/amazon-says-error-caused-alexa-to-say-if-you-vote-for-trump-i-will-kill-you-in-your-sleep