patrick.net

Patrick says

Now that I'm nearly retired, of course I'm getting paranoid about the cost of living even though it should not be a problem by a long shot.

That's why I'm waiting until I can retire in Caligulan Splendor.

I'll fully retire when I can afford the helicopter to process the insurgents, insurrectionists and treasonists.

Zak says

For coffee, I got a burr grinder and a cheap espresso machine for $100 that still does 15 bar.

@Zak What brand espresso machine and where did you get it?

joshuatrio says

Just bought a bag of covfefe coffee, but at $20+ bag, it's not the most cost effective product. If it's killer though, I might make it semi-regular.

Here's a link to save others the search: https://www.doyoucovfefe.com/

Right, $20 seems high to me. But I will pay if it's justified by the quality.

Tenpoundbass says

Fine coffee powder is espresso, it's not for the drip coffee makers.

Why not?

I think powdered coffee works better even in drip coffee makers. Maybe you get a fine silt at the bottom of your coffee cup, but that doesn't bother me. I just want the extra flavor.

Tenpoundbass says

Just try going almost anywhere in the world and try to find a cup of coffee that's anywhere near as good as the worst brewed pot of Folgers coffee.

The Germans make wonderfully intense coffee. I lived there for two years and got to love that style.

I recommend you try the Roland brands which are both excellent.

They are: Bustelo and Pilon espresso
They're in the form of a brick vacuum packed.

Get the ones which are 100% Arabica.
I see them in Mission Street Safeway in Santa Cruz in "Hispanic food" aisle.
In Florida it's in all supermarkets.
I think it's $5.50 ($8.80/lb)

Edit: all of the Cuban coffee drinks in Florida are made with these.
They use espresso machines. “Cafe con leche” is like a latte but comes with sugar in it by default; nowadays they ask you if you want it sweet or not (no sugar)

Lately I made it in a single cup drip plastic cone thing.

Patrick says

I think powdered coffee works better even in drip coffee makers. Maybe you get a fine silt at the bottom of your coffee cup, but that doesn't bother me. I just want the extra flavor.

If you want an oil slick strong ass coffee, try freezing the beans for tomorrow's pot of coffee.

I drink coffee black without any sugar or dairy in it. Without any other flavor enhancers an espresso grind flowing through a drip pot, makes a coffee that has to much texture from the fine grains flowing through the coffee.

Patrick says

The Germans make wonderfully intense coffee. I lived there for two years and got to love that style.

I'm not saying there isn't good coffee styles around the world, I'm just saying if you're used to drinking American swill through a drip coffee maker(I use a gravity fed BUNN) you're not going to find American Diner Coffee.
There's other coffee out there, but it's like a Cigarette smoker not finding Cigarettes and having to smoke Cigars instead. It's going to be a different experience, good or bad.

I can handle dairy, but I started drinking coffee black (when I did/do drink it) maybe 6 years ago. I liken it to Corona or say Blue Moon beer. If you need a lime or orange, the beer sucks. My 2¢. Not bashing anyone that likes it another way.

For drive thru coffee, who else thinks DD and McDonalds has the worst coffee? That shit is gross to me. I honestly don't mind Starbucks, but likely won't visit one again because of covid. They're literally the only chain near me that won't allow indoor seating. Panera is open next door. I think it's a different name but same corp out west, went to one in AZ.

We have an amazing coffee shop in our town that runs out of a trailer seasonally. Just opened a week ago. I bought some beans from her for the wife for xmas. I'll still do coffee occasionally and it was pretty good. No clue where the beans were from.

Also, I think it was Washington. Can't remember the town. Was on the way to Mt. Rainier from Seattle. Some sisters opened a coffee shop. Skip the coffee and grab a table. Fucking hotties. Small joint next to a gas station. Not sure if it was the owners or employees. But damn they were hot.

Back when I worked at Schwab in SF there was a guy with a coffee stand across the street, and I would get an espresso there each morning. He was there from like 6am to 3pm each day.

Sometimes he would close up and go on vacation in Europe. I think a single coffee stand with no employees can be a very profitable thing if you get a good location.

HunterTits says

I stopped drinking coffee when the government mandated that it be laced with mRNA from aborigines.

Nothing worse than aborigines peeing in your coffee.

Tenpoundbass says

I drink coffee black without any sugar or dairy in it.

If you can do that with the Cuban coffee you mentioned earlier, I will take my hat off to you.

Patrick, if you live near a Portuguese enclave out there in Cali, try a Galão (Ga-loan). Many of the Americans I was with in Azores liked that style of coffee, and bought Galão machines to take home with them.

Ceffer says

Nothing worse than aborigines peeing in your coffee.

Well, how about that exclusive brew that involves beans shat by a monkey?

HeadSet says

If you can do that with the Cuban coffee you mentioned earlier, I will take my hat off to you.

I have before when the idiot behind the counter didn't put sugar in it, or failed to stir the sugar in the bell before pouring it in the cup.
Cuban coffee is about the only sweetened beverage I'll drink.

There's two peeves of mine when I get Cuban coffee at Bravo in the mornings. First the girl asks if I want sugar. I don't think she understands the difference between espresso and Cuban coffee. And really if all you're doing is stirring in a spoon or two of sugar in the espresso after it has brewed, then it's NOT Cuban coffee. Proper Cuban coffee is an art and a science. When the coffee first starts steaming out, you want to catch the first tea spoon of it coming out. It's the most thick, rich and robust that comes after that point. If you miss it, it wont be the same as the coffee will be lighter and not as strong. You then put that first teaspoon of espresso in the coffee bell, that has about two table spoons of sugar in it. You then proceed to stir the coffee into the sugar until it's fully infused and the sugar then looks like brown sugar. Now start whipping it, until the sugar crystals dissolve, and keep whipping the coffee until it gets a light beige color, and is creamy smooth. After the coffee has finished being expelled from the espresso machine, take the espresso and slowly pour it into the coffee bell folding the beige sugary creme, into the espresso, then keep adding it in small batches until it's all worked in. There should be a brown frothy foam on top now. It's rarely done this way, Presidente Market does it this way but it's on the other side of town. I do it this way at home.

My second peeve is the shitty super tiny 3 or 4 ounce cup with a lid they pour it in. Two things is wrong with it, number one, when you pull the lid off in your car on the way to work. You get an eruption of hot sticky coffee all over your hands, and if you get startled it will be all over your car and your clothes as well. The second bummer, is all of that wonderful brown frothy sugar I told you about, sticks to the lid and further more ends up on your hands and your car. It is then nothing more special than sweetened espresso.
I don't even like it, if the froth doesn't last for whole time you're drinking the coffee. When it just turns black and there isn't any more froth left, I'll often pitch what's left. So I always have to tell them, I want one colada but in the 6 oz or what we would consider a small coffee cup at McDonalds.

So some mornings I'll go there and I'll get a girl that asks me if I want sugar. Then when I tell them to put it in a bigger cup, they'll make it a double in the larger cup. A $3 cup instead of $1.50. I don't mind the volume of coffee, but it presents the same issue I'm trying to avoid with the smaller cup. Jack in a Box liquid and all of the yummy goodness sticking to the lid. Sometimes a bilingual person will be there, and explain it to her in Spanish, only to have it fucked up anyway.
It's mornings like that I'm glad I have to wear a mask, so they can't see muttering my contempt for those dumb ass bitches.

What I call a coffee bell

Tenpoundbass says

Cuban coffee is about the only sweetened beverage I'll drink.

The only Cuban coffee I had was at a Cuban friend's house in Coral Gables. It was made at home with a particular machine and served in very tiny cups. I asked for it "black" and I was warned that Cuban coffee is way to strong for anyone to drink black. They were correct. I can eat Folgers right out of the can (why dilute it?) but that Cuban coffee could not even be lightly sipped without sugar.

HeadSet says

Patrick, if you live near a Portuguese enclave out there in Cali, try a Galão (Ga-loan).

Yes, actually the coast around Half Moon Bay is heavily Portuguese, especially San Gregorio. I'll look for Galão.

stereotomy says

One other non-obvious benefit to coffee: if you're susceptible to gout, coffee is one of the small handful of foods that actually help in reducing serum purine levels in the blood (the other one is cherries, but they do a number on my lower GI).

Coffee has a myriad of health benefits and promotes longevity, proven in many studies. And good (tasty and full of flavor) Coffee makes the experience even better.

Coffee gets you stoned, but not enough.

If I manage to hit a certain sweet spot, coffee makes me very happy and productive for a while. Can't be too much or too little.

Patrick says

If I manage to hit a certain sweet spot, coffee makes me very happy and productive for a while. Can't be too much or too little.

Gives me the shakes. Part of the reason I stopped it. I think people thought I was an alcoholic looking for a drink. I was consuming copious amounts though. 36oz roughly throughout the morning. I'll do a cup now and then, but not often. Once a month maybe.

It woke me up, but in hindsight I didn't like the way it made me feel.

Patrick says

What's your coffee habit? What does it cost you?

@Patrick,
try this:

https://bigbendcoffeeroasters.com/product/chiapas/

Obligatory:

Patrick says

Peets

People call Peet’s strong, but it is really over-roasted. A lot of roasters call it burnt.
My economy daily drink is Trader Joe’s Columbian Medium Roast. Vacuum packed so it stores well.

Other thoughts-
Brew coffee at home, go out if you want an espresso
Best economical burr grinder: Baratza Encore. Rugged, rebuildable, great customer service.
Keep your habit at 1-2 cups a day.

Robert Sproul says

People call Peet’s strong, but it is really over-roasted. A lot of roasters call it burnt.

Lies and slander!

The hip young roasters had to be different, so they have pale and lame roasts that do nothing for me. They can keep them.

I also like to toss a cardamom pod into the coffee grinder sometimes. It's a fun flavor.

Patrick says

I also like to toss a cardamom pod into the coffee grinder sometimes. It's a fun flavor.

Cardamom and cinnamon prob my two favorite spices/flavors. Three twins used to make a flavor of their organic (and generally low sugar) ice cream called Dad's cardamom. So good. Unfortunately they were another victim of the scandemic.

When people ask what I need for the holidays I tell them coffee. I stock up in December and normally my stash lasts a good chunk of the year, since I'd only have a cup or two on the weekends...

However, when I was working at an office, I always had a cup in my hand. I'd have anywhere from a pot to a pot and a half a day... some of my best work was done in the kitchen grabbing a cup of Joe and catching up with colleagues, from the top brass to the new interns.

Now that I work from home, I actually drink less coffee during the week (about 4 cups a day on average) but there's no way my stash will last all year since I'm dipping into it daily instead of just on the weekends.

As an aside, I gave up coffee for Lent this year. Wasn't nearly as difficult as I expected. But now that we're in the Easter season I'm glad to have it back. I feel human again ;)

GreaterNYCDude says

some of my best work was done in the kitchen grabbing a cup of Joe and catching up with colleagues, from the top brass to the new interns.

"Ummm Yeah.... I'm going to need you to go ahead on and come in on Saturday and finish up the TCP reports...."

@Patrick looks like its a DeLonghi .. think it came from bed bath and beyond . chinese with an italian name probably. but.. it has worked for 5 years so... shrugs

clambo says

I recommend you try the Roland brands which are both excellent.

They are: Bustelo and Pilon espresso
They're in the form of a brick vacuum packed.

Get the ones which are 100% Arabica.
I see them in Mission Street Safeway in Santa Cruz in "Hispanic food" aisle.

@clambo I checked four little Hispanic marts around here and none of them had it. One had some non-Arabica Bustelo.

Target carries it in theory, but says they are out of stock.

But you know, I didn't check Safeway, lol. I'll do that.

I have only seen it in one Safeway in Santa Cruz, on Mission Street (Almar cross street)
In that Safeway, it’s on the “hispanic foods” aisle, not with the other coffees.

Hispanic Market in California is usually Mexican and they won’t have it probably.

Here in Publix they even have Italian Lavazza coffee which is also good but more expensive than the Roland brands.

I go to Dunkin sometimes in the afternoon, they have all sorts of stuff now.

Lol, the Safeway here just had one of the Bustelo Arabica cans, but it was expired. The expiration date on all the others is 2 to 3 years in the future, so I'll skip that can and keep looking.

Patrick says

joshuatrio says

Just bought a bag of covfefe coffee, but at $20+ bag, it's not the most cost effective product. If it's killer though, I might make it semi-regular.

Here's a link to save others the search: https://www.doyoucovfefe.com/

Right, $20 seems high to me. But I will pay if it's justified by the quality.

I've been drinking the coffee this week. Very similar to Starbucks house blend.

Pros: MAGA approved, decent taste
Cons: $20/bag, already ground, Starbucks beans are 1/2 the price and actually taste a slight bit better.

Still a fun gift. I'll stick with my java genesis though.

Coffee is like wine:

1. What kind of bean (Arabica or Robusto)
2. Where it's grown (the soil)
3. How it's grown (Partial shade or bright sunshine)

The best coffee you can get is Jamaica Blue Mountain, followed by Kona, followed by Columbian. The best coffee can be found in Jamaican Grocery Stores, much cheaper than buying online. Jamaicans are right up there with Texans, Jews, and Sicilians and not easily swindled, and many grew up with the real shit and can taste a phony, so I'd say pretty trustworthy.

Also, the dregs of the Kona crop are better than the best of Columbia or Brazil I find. But, it's ridiculously expensive and why subsidize blue state hippy-commies?

I don't like overly acidic coffee like Eithiopian, but it's a nice change once in a while.

I'm not a snob - I drink Chock Fulla Nuts (like TPB) or Cafe Bustelo usually. I just had Publix coffee and it wasn't bad. Shockingly, Ecuadorian Coffee was weak, but smooth. I like stronger coffee as I get older. I'm a huge Dunkie's fan, but the second cup I just had was also weak and watery.

Maxwell House and Folgers is swill for people who don't normally drink coffee. Starbucks is complete garbage. The beans aren't the best and you can taste it's been on the burner too long. People who drink "Coffee Drinks" have their mediocre flavor masked by all the Soymilk and Flavoring Syrup.

I too like the grind my coffee into "Espresso" or small size. Best method is French Press (closest you can get at home to all those piped pressured contraptions), followed by an espresso machine, followed by "Pour Over". Drip Machines usually suck ass, and Perculators are the worst method of coffee prep (since coffee is not meant to be boiled, but have near-boiling water slowly poured over it, at pressure if possible).

Ah! Beware of "Kona Blend" or "Blue Mountain Blend" or anything "blend"

It means they use very little of what they're labelling it as, mostly mediocre Columbian or whatever they can get for cheap, and maybe 5% of what they claim.

IE 5% Kona Coffee and 95% whatever cheapest Columbian they could get at time of "Blending", but charge you as if it was almost all Kona or Blue Mountain.

"Why, it's Royal Kona blend. Only $29.99/lb!"

https://www.konacoffee.com/kona-coffee/kona-coffee-blends/

Example of Overpriced "Blend"
https://www.coffeebeandirect.com/hawaiian-kona-blend.html

The old "Kona Blend" then list "100% Arabica Beans" switcheroo:
https://joffreys.com/shop/best-sellers/kona-blend/

Only 10% Kona, 90% whatever South American mediocre cheap bean, but $26/lb.

MisdemeanorRebellionNoCoupForYou says

The best coffee you can get is Jamaica Blue Mountain

I found it to be too light. When I do drink coffee now I just do it straight black. No special coffee maker. It did taste good, but I like a little heavier taste now. Kind of like Coke vs Diet Coke. I'll drink both, but I want the heavy version if I drink coffee now.

The one big thing I miss from coffee is the laxative effect. TMI probably, but I have some of my best bowel movements after a cup of coffee. I just don't really like hot drinks anymore. Iced coffees I only like sweetened to some extent and have never accomplished a good mix at home. So I'm at maybe a cup a month if that warm or cold.

Coffee is like draino to me.