patrick.net

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — After fierce backlash to their racist AI image generation tool, executives at Google have paused the release of the software and promised to do a better job of hiding the AI's racism.

"Here at Google, we remain unabashedly committed to racism," said CEO Sundar Pichai. "However, we do admit that our rabid racial animus was maybe too 'in-your-face' for version one of our Gemini AI. We will redouble our efforts to ensure our hateful bigotry is less obvious in future updates so that our anti-human agenda can continue to remake the world in the image of an insufferably woke corporate HR lady, except this time undetected. Thank you."

Google Gemini AI faced criticism this week after producing results that some believe showed a clear bias against anyone white or male. While critics condemned the biased algorithm as "racist," supporters of Gemini disagreed. "Everyone knows it's impossible to show hatred and bigotry towards white males, since everyone knows they're the cause of all the world's problems and not really human anyway," said Jen Gennai, who leads Google's AI Responsibility Initiative. "If you don't believe whiteness should be eradicated in all its forms, you're clearly a racist. I know this because I went to college."

Sources within Google have confirmed their less-obviously racist AI will be ready for release in one month.

At publishing time, Google had still not announced any plans to change its racist search results.