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Time for a cool change, out with Budweiser and with the new.


               
2023 Apr 7, 8:59am   46,133 views  338 comments

by Tenpoundbass   follow (10)  

Across the redneck nation there are calls for a new official beer of Rural America. Butwiper really dropped the ball and screwed the pooch on this one.
I suggest Becks or St Paulie Girl, as both of those are under $12 a 12 pack these days. Where has Butwiper has been pushing the boundaries to how much they could charge for their Cultural Grog. I wouldn't mind seeing Shiner Boc become a huge national brand with a wider distribution than it currently has. Though when I do find it at the Publix here in South Florida, it's around $10.99 or more, for a 6pack. Even Guiness is a dollar cheaper than that on average.

I heard some chime in telling everyone to support their local craft beer brewers. I have never EVER had one single beer from a craft brewer that tasted anything like a old traditional beer recipe. And that's very important to me. I don't want off tastes, and hints of herbs, berries, citrus, or your Xer's vag yeast. Whart ever the fuck they put in there!

The problem I have with local craft beers, they have no respect for the traditional tried and true methods, and just brew a proper Lager, Pilsner, Ale, or Stout. They always have some untraditional ingredients in there, that makes it taste like crap, while they give a cute flavor name, which taste nothing like they suggest. Plus you can factor a good 40% of the cost of their beer goes into their packaging and marketing efforts. They claim they are craft beers, but they are trying like hell to be a major distributor at the expense of not focusing on a product worthy of such hullabaloo. And if I'm at a one more party and there's nothing left in the beer cooler but 9 seltzer fizzy beer, or sour IPAs in the cooler. I'm going loose my mind. Who brings these nasty beers, then proceeds to drink the hosts honest real beers? Nobody likes your soda beer, and IPA leave that crap at home. Who ever is doing that!

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1   Onvacation   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:31am  

We have two micro breweries in my little town. One makes a bunch of IPA's vying to be the most sour and vile. I don't go there. The other brewery makes some really good stouts and porters. I buy their beer even though it is overpriced.

If I am at a restaurant and all they have is "Bud or Coors", I'll order water.
2   Onvacation   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:34am  

When I was younger I went to a bar with a couple friends. I ordered a Corona and my friends ordered Heinekens. The bartender gave us a funny look, busted out three Millers and as he set them before us said, "Corona, Heineken, Heineken". We drank them.
3   Onvacation   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:36am  

"Buttwiper" is now "Buttfucker".
4   RWSGFY   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:37am  

As I said before it's easy to make "small batch triple-IPA" once, it's hard to consistently make good Pilsner year after year.

Thus most if the "craft breweries" are sticking to doing the former rather then the latter.
5   fdhfoiehfeoi   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:39am  

All macro-beers taste like sour(as in stale) fizzy water. That's because they don't care about the water they use, and often substitute corn, rice, or other sub-par ingredients.

If you're really into traditional taste, I'd expect you to drink only German or Trappist beers, as those recipes haven't changed for hundreds or thousands of years.

So a little US history on beer. Before Prohibition, all the "fancy" beer you dislike is what was brewed. Thanks to the government jackass's, beer was almost wiped out, and it is the craft movement you despise that has led the way in re-discovering these lost styles. Two examples, Kolsch and Gose. These beers were almost lost until craft brewing brought them back.

Most people who say they don't like beer is because they've only ever tried shit like Heineken or Coors. There are so many varieties, there is literally a beer made for every pallet. So to pigeon-hole the entire genre prevents people from discovering good beer.

Also, I've had craft brews that have brought back recipes that are very traditional, and very old. Stone made a beer that used other ingredients for the hops profile, it's was great, and a very old recipe.
On the IPA side, I'll agree, it's hard to find really bitter IPA's now days. Everything's become floral and fruity, and hazy. Screw that, give me piny and lots of ABV's. The West Coast IPA is almost a lost art. Probably the opposite of what you meant, but I've been drinking for a long time.
6   fdhfoiehfeoi   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:42am  

RWSGFY says

As I said before it's easy to make "small batch triple-IPA" once, it's hard to consistently make good Pilsner year after year.

Thus most if the "craft breweries" are sticking to doing the former rather then the latter.


I will strongly disagree. I've had very few triple IPA's that didn't taste like pure alcohol, and no, that is NOT the intended flavor profile. The higher the alcohol, the harder it is to make a good beer. And I see lots of Pilsner's now days. Again this is a style that all about the water, so if it's not from the region in Europe, it's never going to be exactly the same. But I've had some decent ones.

The style I'd like to see more of is Lager. Started making a comeback a few years ago, but still not as common as I'd like to see. Especially in the summer, you don't want some dark, heavy beer.
7   Tenpoundbass   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:50am  

RWSGFY says

As I said before it's easy to make "small batch triple-IPA" once, it's hard to consistently make good Pilsner year after year.


I haven't brewed since getting married but I used to make Pilsner beer that was pretty consistent.
Thought I must say, it always tasted more like Amber Boc than Budweiser(I mean the original Budweiser, not the "Born on Date" sewer swill).

Way back in the day when Beer Snobs would lament, how America doesn't have any real beers. And they proclaimed that Budweiser was swill.
I loved Budweiser, as did most of American beer drinkers. It was so good and popular, I always wondered why brands like Budweiser and Marlboro even bothered to advertise, it seemed like a waste of resources and money to me. As both of their customers were always surrounded by their branding, at their own expense. Then in 92' they changed their brewing process and formula, and has been pure shit since then. There weren't many beers I was passionate about. Because good beer was something you had to drive miles away and go to a Crown Liquor store, or some huge beverage depot to get Becks, St P G, or Guinness. Finally when InBev acquired AB, purely for the distribution rights. They even left AB corporate structure and their day to day business up to AB, they didn't interfere. Even this Tranny Fluid debacle is purely AB and not InBev. Since that acquisition however. All of those brands you used to have to go to specialty stores to get, are now sold in every corner store and grocery store. Everywhere Bud is sold, the same distributer can also supply them over 80% of the world's best beer brands. Whether they chose to carry those other beers or not is up to them..
8   Tenpoundbass   @   2023 Apr 7, 9:53am  

NuttBoxer says

All macro-beers taste like sour(as in stale) fizzy water.


I'm not talking about weak fizzy beer here. Maybe this is a Florida thing, but the Younger Mills and GenZ are drinking flavored(like black berry, lime or cherry) sparkling water, that has an alcohol content. Just nasty stuff.
9   Tenpoundbass   @   2023 Apr 7, 10:03am  

NuttBoxer says

and it is the craft movement you despise that has led the way in re-discovering these lost styles.


Don't confuse the Milly's beers with now defunct brands. The Milly hipsters are opening up pop up pizzerias and making New York Pizzas. But it doesn't mean they taste anything near what Lou's Pizza was doing back in the 60's, 70's and 80's. When those guys retired, their recipes and techniques retired with them. They sent their kids off to be Lawyers and Doctors, is the saddest thing. Hundreds of years of tradition and generations of craft pride, just squandered for worthless diplomas and degrees.

We would call what those brewers were doing back in the day, Micro Breweries. But at the time, they were serious Brewers, with brewing craftsmen with centuries of knowledge behind them. You wanted to buy beer from local breweries back then because beer shipped from the big brewers arrived days and weeks after it was brewed. Which isn't a longtime, but you got to remember they didn't have refrigerated Budweiser trucks back then. So they sat in a hot container for that whole trip. Beer was often green and bitter. Also to my knowledge I have never seen advertisement of old local brewed beer. Touting the weird ingredients that micro brewer put in beers today.
10   Onvacation   @   2023 Apr 7, 10:19am  

Pop a 'weiser.
11   fdhfoiehfeoi   @   2023 Apr 7, 6:15pm  

Tenpoundbass says

I'm not talking about weak fizzy beer here. Maybe this is a Florida thing, but the Younger Mills and GenZ are drinking flavored(like black berry, lime or cherry) sparkling water, that has an alcohol content. Just nasty stuff.


Seltzer's have become big lately. We bought some by mistake once. There's not much flavor, definitely not for us. Also the beer that is half frozen like a slushee, no thank you.
12   richwicks   @   2023 Apr 7, 6:19pm  

NuttBoxer says

Seltzer's have become big lately. We bought some by mistake once.


That's how everybody ends up purchasing a hard seltzer, by mistake. They are all awful.
13   fdhfoiehfeoi   @   2023 Apr 7, 6:20pm  

Tenpoundbass says

Also to my knowledge I have never seen advertisement of old local brewed beer. Touting the weird ingredients that micro brewer put in beers today.


I've never once in a my life seen an add for a micro-brew. I'm pretty sure that would disqualify it from the micro genre. The ones I like the best, one company is local to where I live, and was doing the next-gen IPA's when everyone else was still hardcore bitter. Father son, father is retired fireman, Irish, and they stay true to their roots, both ancestry, and location they've grown up in(foothills East of San Diego). The other does Belgium style, and on the west coast side makes one of my all time favorite beers. If you ever get a chance to try Santa's Little Helper, barrel aged(red label), DO NOT PASS IT BY. Just outstanding.
14   mell   @   2023 Apr 7, 6:23pm  

Becks is a pretty good German beer. Mostly enjoyed in the north, def worth it.
15   pudil   @   2023 Apr 7, 6:38pm  

People call craft beer fans beer snobs but there’s not much difference in flavor profiles between any of the mass produced lagers. Yet some people insist on bud because it’s what they are used to and they are picky drinkers, aka snobs.

Just substitute a coors, pbr, miller, any Mexican beer and it’s basically the same thing.
16   stfu   @   2023 Apr 7, 6:48pm  

Growing up it was nothing but Genesee in my area. ( https://www.geneseebeer.com). If you really wanted to push the envelope you could get "Genny 12 horse" and if you wanted to punk somebody you gave them a "Genny cream ale". If you won the lottery you'd be drinking that fancy Labatt's Blue out of Canada.

I don't know what the hell you youngin's are talking about with your IPA this and your Seltzer that.
17   Tenpoundbass   @   2023 Apr 7, 7:00pm  

Is Anchor Steam Beer still around?
There's an old San Francisco beer, that was resurected, by someone unrelated, and did a pretty damn good job at it. Though I haven't seen any since the start of Covid.
Also Sammy Smith Oatmeal Lager Stout. Mmm Mmm that's a damn good primer, to start the night off. Not the sort of beer you wanna knock back throughout the night. They come in a four pack, they were 24 ounce bottles. But the last time I saw them they were 20 ounce bottles. It's the type of four pack you buy, and split it with a friend. Then go on to drink your other favorite beer.
18   clambo   @   2023 Apr 7, 7:24pm  

I'm not a big beer drinker, but I too like Anchor Steam.
A beer in Mexico I like is Pacifico.
19   steverbeaver   @   2023 Apr 7, 7:43pm  

I've never seen Stone featuring a gay gargoyle...
20   TheAntiPanicanLearingCenter   @   2023 Apr 7, 7:53pm  

Yuengling is Pro-MAGA and hosted Trump at their HQ. And sadly for CNN, WaPo, Yahoo News, etc. it didn't hurt Yuengling sales at all.
https://money.cnn.com/2016/10/27/news/yuengling-beer-president-donald-trump/index.html

If you brew at home, you can literally buy the grains and malt, big stock pot, glass carbuoy, and a large cooler with a bung in it and you're good to go. You don't need the cooler (as a Mash Tun) for the canned shit.

Haven't done it in a decade, but for newbs I suggest doing the premade malt once or twice and/or make mead, then a couple of partial mashes, then a full mash. I didn't fuck up the partial or full mash the first time I did it. It's easier than it seems, especially if you're not being a snob about it and saying "How would some farmer do this... he'd use his hand, not a specific gravity measure or a thermometer". Concession to old America - toss a couple of ounces of blackstrap molasses in it as Sam Adams himself probably did to get the fermentation going. That and I transfer to a second carbuoy to help filter it out. NO CO2 injectors or any of that cheat shit. Just bottle it up and throw it in the closet for at least 3-4 weeks.

Burton Ales, Dark Ales, Brown Ales, Old Ales... about as traditional as you can get without ditching the hops (yes, really old ales didn't usually have hops asnd "beer" itself once meant ONLY 'ale with hops').

I don't like that Heifferweizelshit with the banana taste, sounds like what you do at a bar at 2AM when your horny and only the fat girl is left. No Wormwood or Cirtus Peels or whatever. MAYBE I'd try adding a little oatmeal or some carmalized sugars to make a Scotch Ale if I got back into it. Just plain fucking brown beer/ale.

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