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The Babylon Bee is here to help by providing the following list of tell-tale signs you're living in a banana republic:
Your leader is a corpse: No matter how complicated the system of wires and pulleys may be, it's still obvious.
Sacha Baron Cohen is making a mockumentary about your country: He's going to make your country look so stupid.
Millions of citizens of other banana republics are migrating to your country because it feels like home: Only the best banana republics attract people from all the other banana republics.
All of your country's elections are supervised by the CIA: Nothing fishy at all about an intelligence agency determining who runs the country. Totally fine.
There are bananas everywhere: Could be an indication.
The media, big corporations, and law enforcement all work for the government: Good thing that doesn't happen here.
The ruling class seems unconcerned that the poors can't afford food: Let them eat crickets!
Your nation's currency is worth less than actual bananas: Once people start using fruit to buy things, you're in trouble.
The guy running against your current leader just got convicted of a "crime": Don't worry, this one's too ridiculous to ever actually happen in real life.
The khaki pants cost $238: You definitely know you're in a Banana Republic when there is overpriced clothing everywhere you look.
What exactly did Democrats think would happen?
For a year, Democratic prosecutors in one of the bluest states in the nation have worked overtime to bankrupt and imprison Donald Trump.
The civil fraud case against Trump, over loans he repaid in full, was bad. The felony indictment for misclassifying accounting records was worse, built on bizarre legal theories and the testimony of an admitted liar.
With the help of friendly judges, the prosecutors won both. Trump, the Republican leader and the favorite to beat the incumbent Democratic president in November, now faces nearly $500 million in fines and four years in prison - for “crimes” that can barely be explained. ...
As a X post now viewed 73 million times put it:
The first felony conviction of a former US President wasn’t for the Iraq or Afghanistan wars, illegal CIA coups, drone striking weddings, or spying on Americans… It was because Trump misclassified a $130,000 payment for a porn star’s NDA [non-disclosure agreement].
Republicans are furious. Rightly.
Now they are openly threatening to strike back. As the New York Times wrote [paywalled] this morning:
Republican allies of Donald J. Trump are calling for revenge prosecutions and other retaliatory measures against Democrats in response to his felony conviction in New York…
G.O.P. leaders in and out of government have demanded that elected Republicans use every available instrument of power against Democrats, including targeted investigations and prosecutions.
Like the Times or not, it has accurately summarized where we stand.
Democratic ex-New York Gov. David Paterson agrees trial on Trump was RIGGED! That took real stones David, I admire big stones men & women
Paterson, speaking Sunday on 77 WABC radio’s “The Cats Roundtable,” agreed with Trump’s gripes that the case was “rigged.
“There are a lot … of erroneous qualities to that trial,” Paterson said. “Some of the people who are involved: A person who worked at the White House somehow wound up in the Manhattan DA’s Office.
“All of it, when it adds up, really looks very much like what the former president describes it as,” the top Dem told host John Catsimatidis.
‘Paterson said Biden should be “real careful” about gloating, especially with the president’s son, Hunter Biden, now on trial.’'
“There was a press release [after former President Trump’s conviction] from the White House: ‘No one is above the law.’ I think President Biden should be real careful. There are investigations on him and his son right now. That dog could come back to bite him,” Paterson said.
Former New York Republican Gov. George Pataki joined Paterson in blasting the prosecution of Trump — and both governors warned it could boomerang on Biden and other Democrats.’
Republican allies of Donald J. Trump are calling for revenge prosecutions
use every available instrument of power against Democrats, including targeted investigations and prosecutions.
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EDIT: GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS