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Police: Realtor® Murders Possibly Related


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2006 Jul 12, 6:35pm   16,961 views  204 comments

by HARM   ➕follow (0)   💰tip   ignore  

Ponzi scheme promoter
"Bring it on, I'm not afraid," says David Lereah

The Disassociated Press
By Jeff Gannon
July 12, 2006

A series of shootings that wounded 13 California Realtors® statewide during the past two months may be linked to an earlier set of assaults, slayings and the reckless speculative mania that killed four San Diego agents, police said Tuesday.

Clues in the serial shootings possibly point to the same perpetrator, San Diego Police Inspector Clouseau said, but so little is known that detectives are frustrated and need help to break the case.

'We have no description,' said Clouseau. 'This has been very perplexing for us. To have this many incidents without at least one witness, it's not making sense. All of them occurred during open houses in vacant condo towers all over the city, so you'd think there would have been some interested buyers around at the time, right? So far, we haven't even found one! '

Clouseau said investigators connected the two sets of crimes after discovering new information related to some underwater flippers and f@cked borrowers. He declined to elaborate, saying only that 'we believed in potential for this kind of vigilantism existed ever since affordability levels dropped below 8%.'

Detectives have been tracking the 13 shootings, which began May 2, as part of an unusual f@cked borrower crime wave. Police said they believe the recent shootings are related to 25 shootings that began when month-over-month prices began to fall in November 2005 and killed at least four people: two sub-prime mortgage brokers, plus a Realtor® and house "stager", who were hosting empty open houses. The actress who played "Suzanne" in the notorious Century 21 commercials has also been shot, though unfortunately it's looking like she will recover.

The 13 latest shootings all happened early in the morning, when eager buyers should have been lined up to start bidding wars --but weren't. "I don't know what's more depressing," said Ginger Bohland-Aliotta, "being a potential murder victim, or having to sit around all day staring at empty rooms while my youth and will to live slowly drains out of me. Frankly, I think I'd rather take the bullet."

Clouseau said he thinks more than one person may be responsible, and one of the suspects drives a light-blue colored 1963 T-Bird. Clouseau wouldn't say if he thought the shooter fired from the car, or what kind of gun might have been used.

Since August, a local FB task force has also been trying to catch a serial refinancer dubbed the "Equity Liberator", who authorities believe is responsible for obtaining five fraudulent HELOCs and a series of stated-income cash-out refis, when he actually had no job and was equity negative.

San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders announced a $100,000 reward for information about either the serial Realtor® killer or the Equity Liberator.

According to a self described "debunker of Realt-Whore propaganda" who spoke on condition of anonymity, the killers may also be targeting high-profile Realtors®, such as NAR chief economist and media whore David Lereah. "After he wrote that execrable book, Liar-realtor basically signed his own death warrant," says our source. "He's going to catch a bullet eventually --it's 'in the bag'. And speaking of 'in the bag', I'm convinced Gary Watts may be next in line, and possibly Leslie 'equity liberation' Appleton-Young."

Lereah's CAR partner in crime
"I could be next," chirps Leslie Appleton-Young

OC bag-man
"My violent end is 'in the bag'," insists Gary Watts

When asked what these real estate lightening rods could do to protect themselves from homicidal f@cked borrowers, our informant offered this advice: "Whatever you do, don't vary your daily routine. Make sure you keep doing the same things you always do the exact same way. That way, you'll throw the stalkers off guard, because they'll be expecting you to change your pattern."

"Besides," he added, "if you start doing things like wearing kevlar or having guards follow you everywhere, then the killers have already won, right?. I mean, what better way to demonstrate your iron resolve and committment to housing than by NOT protecting yourself. Only pussies 'cut and run' when they're threatened. You're not a pussy, are you David...?"

He also added, "On a totally unrelated topic, if anyone reading this happens to have David, Leslie or Gary's home address, could you please contact me? No particular reason..."

Copyright 2006 The Disassociated Press. All wrongs denied. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, redistributed, spoofed, read aloud, publicly derided or used as birdcage liner.

________________________________________________________
DISCLAIMER:
This “news” story is a SPOOF/SATIRE meant for ENTERTAINMENT purposes only. Do not misinterpret this in any way as a “signal” that it’s ok to start shooting or assaulting Realtors. There are lots of nice, honest realtors out there just as disgusted with this mess as we are –George being one of them– nor did realtors “start the fire”. We can thank the Fed, Congress and the GSEs for that honor.

I and the owner of this blog are in no way responsible for anyone else’s irresponsible and/or illegal actions. --HARM

To see the original news story that inspired this spoof, click here.
________________________________________________________

#housing

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109   Joe Schmoe   2006 Jul 13, 12:59pm  

Astrid,

India has something like 12 languages and a 50% literacy rate. Yet it's a functioning democracy. In the mid-19th century, the US was so politically divided that we fought a civil war, killing over 620,000 of our own people. Yet in the aftermath, we managed to re-establish a functioning democracy and have lived in peace with one another for almost 150 years.

You don't need to be homogenous to be a successful democracy. It certainly helps, but it's not a prerequisite. Heck, the US is a nation of immigrants. We get by.

And in the final analysis, people are going to have to learn to get past their tribal differences if they are going to live in the modern world. If we were to split Iraq into Kurdistan, Shiastan, and Shiite-ville tomorrow, there would still be lots of conflict. There would always be tension in those border villages that are 50% Shia and 50% Sunni. And the Islamic Republic of Shiastan would, of course, never forget the many outrages that the Shiite-villians perpetrated on them when both lived in Iraq. Redrawing the borders would not solve these problems. People have to learn to bury the hatchet on their stupid tribal conflicts and move on.

110   astrid   2006 Jul 13, 1:15pm  

Joe,

You can believe that we're "winning" and that "winning" is possible. History is not on our side. There is consequences for what America has already done in Iraq, and there will be future consequences if we want to stay there.

You can't chose other people's destiny and tell them what is stupid and what isn't. The point isn't who is right and who is wrong. The point is that they have to learn their own lessons. Attempts to teach them will backfire. Believe me. I am Chinese and I've studied Chinese modern history very closely (and have a working knowledge of modern history in general), and well intended attempts at occupation and protectorates caused resentment. The Chinese even started calling the Soviet Union imperialist. This is the case even though the Qing dynasty was a decrepit and obvious failure.

Honestly, I don't think it'll matter what you think. We'll be out of there. It'll be ugly, but we'll be out of there soon enough. And as ugly as it is going to get, it's way better than staying.

111   speedingpullet   2006 Jul 13, 1:31pm  

The "Fear=Respect" equation may work taming horses and training dogs, but I doubt its a great motivator, especially for 'winning hearts and minds' and promoting airy-fairy concepts like Democracy and Freedom.

I'm hoping, Joe Schmoe that you are joking. i'm not entirely convinced you are, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, seeing as i'm new here and all, and i don't want to delurk straight into a Flame War.

Wierldy enough, I was watching a documentary about the Viet Nam war recently, and heard much the same train of thought then, 35 years ago, as i'm hearing now from, how can I say this diplomatically, some of the more excitable people talking about Iraq today.

No, Im not comparing the Iraq war to the Viet Nam one. But its interesting, with VNW documentary fairly fresh in my mind, that the rhetoric used to justify it hasn't changed much in the intervening years.

I wonder if, in 35 years time, everyone will feel as positive and right about Iraq as they do about Viet Nam now...

Anyway, I digress.

Hello, and I think this is a brilliant forum.

I like my housing bubble info liberally spread with other topics. I'm also glad to see that, despite some tempers heating up from time to time, everyone tries hard to be civil. I've been to too many forums where everyone gets very cranky and shouts at each other. So, its nice to see that shouting is kept to a minimum here. i like a good argument as much as the next person, but get bored with being shouted down for my opinons, just because they don't jibe with someone else's. Keep it up. I've only been here for a couple of days, but i like it already.

And....bubbles....I'm in LA, so does anyone know of a blog dealing with RE here?

As way of a present, I offer you this stunning, spacious (754 sq ft) bungalow, complete with "quaint" bath (yes, it really says quaint. Where I'm from quaint is word word used to denote something you should run from, not get in to, but there you go), in really quite reasonably priced El Segundo, mere minutes away from (and under) the flightpath for LAX.

http://tinyurl.com/fs7rc

You too can leave your wallet in El Segundo!

112   surfer-x   2006 Jul 13, 2:13pm  

I think if the camel humpers would just embrace the Shrubs imaginary friend instead of their imaginary friends everything would be ok.

113   astrid   2006 Jul 13, 2:15pm  

Joe,

PS, I couldn't read the top three lines of your comment. Finally went into edit mode so sorry for not noting your comment on India.

The British didn't civilize India and the move towards democracy there was native. Furthermore, the Brits spend 150 years and much of their civil and administrative resources on it. America is not going to put in the same kind of resources. And before you over-romanticize the democracy and level of progress in India, note that the ruling government is based on Hindu chauvinism, that modern India's founder and 2 of its prime ministers were assasinated by sectionarians, that sectarian violence has surged periodically and responsible for thousands of deaths, that it has a low grade and pointless war in Kashmir that is largely due to religious differences, and that the situation was so untenable that East Bengal had to be broken away. Oh, there's also that little nuclear arms race btwn India and Pakistan. To this day, I would hardly call India something something Americans necessarily want to strive for in SW Asia. And, like the English in India, the Americans are in fact playing the factions against each other to retain control and inflaming sectarianism.

And you can ask SP how he feels about the English occupation there.

114   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jul 13, 2:42pm  

SpeedingPullet (or Bullet?):

Had US not intervened in Vietnam, NVA would have had an easy walk to Saigon and there might be more such easy walks incited around the world by GodKnowsWho.

The fact that US went and fought with tenacity might have instilled certain fear in her opponent's mind so that the latter would be more cautious. So communism didn't spread quickly like wild fire as initially feared. But that does not invalidate the initial thesis that led to the Vietnam war. The only way to invalidate the thesis -- easy fall of Vietnam would cause fast spread of communism -- is to have a parallel universe.

115   HARM   2006 Jul 13, 3:24pm  

we’ve been pressuring them, with carrot and stick, for years. In the 1990’s, the only thing standing between the House of Saud and a fundamentalist revolution was US troops. You’d think that when the rulers owed their very lives to us, they’d finally give into our requests to permit women to get driver’s licenses. Did this happen? No!

And who's fault was that? Come to think of it, why didn't we let the despotic House of Saud be overthrown? That might have really put the "stick" to them. Oh, right: the world's largest proven oil reserves. I guess the patriarchal misogynistic despots charge less for gas than Sunni fundamentalist theocrats. ;-)

They haven’t voted in a bunch of mullahs.

Riiiiiight.....

Iraqi politicans are not trying to legislate Sharia into law establish a constitutional theocracy.

Mmmm...kay...

Why not? Becuase the people of Iraq are not stupid. They see how badly the theocrats have screwed up the neighboring countries of Saudi Arabia and Iran. Besides, they know that the theocrats are not about religion, they are about power. The Iraqis know a would-be dictator when they see one.

Let's hope so. For the sake of the Iraqis.

116   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jul 13, 4:57pm  

For a laugh ...

A post from a stock board:

CIA agent just on Headline News
13-Jul-06 09:26 pm
Stated if a war in the middle east broke out between Iran, Isreal and America it could push crude to 300-400 a barrel with gasoline hitting $20 a gallon. Also talked about China and Russia joining the war which could eventually lead to armageddon.

This is getting serious.

On Bill O'Reilly he's even afraid World War III is around the corner.

What good is $5000 an ounce GOLD with a hydrogen bomb coming at your a 2,000 miles an hour.

I want to go down banging a girl doggiestyle with a 1/5 of vodka in my system.

One reply:

CIA agents should not masturbate in public. It's unseemly. You, however, should go ahead and bang the girl. You don't need the vodka :o).

Another reply from realfoxiegirl:

can't wait NOT to be in the socket end of that ride . . .. euro

117   Mike/a.k.a.Sage   2006 Jul 13, 5:11pm  

How about this for a thread topic.

Total revenues from real estate transactions in the first half of 2006 down ? billion compared with the first half of 2005.

Who is feeling the pain of reduced revenues? How much pain are real estate agents, title companies, banks, brokers, and local governments from reduced transfer taxes, etc., feeling from the lower number of sales? With many markets sales down 30, 40, 50% over last year at this time, there must be a word of hurt out there.

118   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jul 13, 5:32pm  

SP Says:

Many of the threads (financing, etc.) led straight back to Karachi, Pakistan.

Bin Laden was (and still is) in North Western Pakistan, where he receives treatment for diabetes.

And America calls Pakistan’s military dictator an ‘ally’, cozies up to the Saudi royals - and decides to bring freedom to Iraq by toppling a secular, non-islamic government. Exactly how this enhances Joe Schmoe’s security is beyond my grasp.

I suspect the reasons are much deeper than we know of. Recall that Pakistan is China's close ally. It makes sense for US to cozy up to them.

US always has trouble with populist governments. If the Saudis royals are toppled, a populist government (either democratic or fundamentalist) is likely to be the successor. This will be a difficult situation for US.

You can accuse US of dirty dealings with bad guys. But every other power or super-power-to-be does the same.

119   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jul 13, 5:45pm  

Funny. Crude up. Gold up. Dollar also up. Peter P is probably right. Money is fleeing into safe havens (gold and dollar).

120   Different Sean   2006 Jul 13, 5:46pm  

You can accuse US of dirty dealings with bad guys. But every other power or super-power-to-be does the same.

up to a point. they also assassinate or undermine democratically elected leaders when it suits crony business interests, e.g. in south and central america, in order to instate 'bad guys' i.e. right wing despots. it's all in day's work...

unfortunately it's all covered with a veneer of sugar and empty rhetoric and moral high-grounding (the stuff that people know about), fooling most of the people most of the time...

121   Different Sean   2006 Jul 13, 5:48pm  

Governor Conan Says:
Funny. Crude up. Gold up. Dollar also up. Peter P is probably right. Money is fleeing into safe havens (gold and dollar).

this is the classic 8-12 year Juglar 'business cycle'. cash -> shares -> property -> cash... what a surprise, the cycle's turned again, for the hundredth time...

122   Different Sean   2006 Jul 13, 5:54pm  

well said, SP. someone here with a brain...

one rumour was that bin laden had died in 2001 in afghanistan, either from kidney failure or from a missile strike. i still view videos and 'audio from bin laden' with extreme suspicion. the US needs and wants an emanuel goldstein. further, i wonder how many of the western bombings are false flag operations, inside jobs, etc. there have been reports that some of the worst terrorist acts of the last several decades were engineered by infiltrators from the govts themselves...

123   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jul 13, 5:55pm  

I can see how this fits 94-2006. But the last (late) stock boom really started in the early 80's. How do you explain this?

124   Different Sean   2006 Jul 13, 6:07pm  

speedingpullet Says:
...promoting airy-fairy concepts like Democracy and Freedom.

Weirdly enough, I was watching a documentary about the Viet Nam war recently, and heard much the same train of thought then, 35 years ago, as i’m hearing now from, how can I say this diplomatically, some of the more excitable people talking about Iraq today.

No, Im not comparing the Iraq war to the Viet Nam one. But its interesting, with VNW documentary fairly fresh in my mind, that the rhetoric used to justify it hasn’t changed much in the intervening years.

that's absolutely right. i see the rhetoric as an outsider. and each time, australia has been pulled into the conflagration as a marginal ally, and gone along for the ride usually with relatively minor casualties.

there is an incredible amount of continuity and consistency in the bullshit rhetoric and hidden agendas over the decades post WWII, ever since people like robert macnamara and henry kissinger got going. mainly repub govts, i think, correct me if i'm wrong...

if you look at how the UN pulled out very early from the East Timor independence, leaving them battling to form a stable govt, following the reversal of the Indonesion invasion in the 70s, and the way the US insists on staying in iraq 'even if it takes years' as rummy says, it's very obvious they are only about getting their hands on resources, forget all the democracy bullshit. the US and Oz have appeased indonesia for decades, preferring to install right wing crony capitalists, despots and imperialists as a supposed 'dam against communism' rather than let the commie menace take over, regardless of whether that would happen or not. so much for self-determination. they still appease them today, and are happy to recognise their annexation of half of new guinea...

125   Different Sean   2006 Jul 13, 6:13pm  

I can see how this fits 94-2006. But the last (late) stock boom really started in the early 80’s. How do you explain this?

i believe there's been an extra long run on property. which questions the 'cycle' premise a little, but there you have it. stock run from 80-87, followed by the 87 crash and flight to property. my argument here is that property was bullish from 88-06, i.e. an 18 year run, with a lull just in around 1990-94, where maybe cash became ascendant. there really seems to be a flipping process, where when one market gets played out, people start looking for other places to plough their money, so it can only be one of commodities, shares (production, IP), cash or property. so no guarantee of religious cycling from one investment vehicle to the next, nor an exact timeframe, it's just the one that looks most undervalued. i think it's all a bit evil...

126   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jul 13, 6:18pm  

Did you mean one phase in the cycle lasts 8-12 years? I might have misunderstood. I thought 8-12 years include all phases.

127   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jul 13, 6:26pm  

Another quote from Newmont board:

Lil' Kim should have been made FRB Chairman since he prints more money than we do.

128   Joe Schmoe   2006 Jul 13, 10:41pm  

Hey all,

my long-delayed affordabiility based analysis -- the one that predicts declines as much as 75-80% -- will be ready today. This afternoon, west coast time.

Please rip it to shreds!

129   Different Sean   2006 Jul 13, 11:34pm  

Did you mean one phase in the cycle lasts 8-12 years? I might have misunderstood. I thought 8-12 years include all phases.

each phase of the juglar cycle lasts 7-11 years -- except when it's 18... juglar cycles, elliott waves and kondriateff waves can all be contested tho...

as enumerated by joseph schumpeter:

Traditional business cycle models

130   Different Sean   2006 Jul 13, 11:56pm  

In the Juglar cycle, which is sometimes called "the" business cycle, recovery and prosperity are associated with increases in productivity, consumer confidence, aggregate demand, and prices. In the cycles before World War II or that of the late 1990s in the United States, the growth periods usually ended with the failure of speculative investments built on a bubble of confidence that bursts or deflates.

131   DinOR   2006 Jul 14, 12:10am  

Up in Arms,

Nice Work!

I particularly liked the Sign Spinner interviews! Will visit often as I have a friend that recently sold in Perris. He'd bought 6 or 7 years ago to have it as a place to raise his kids (not an investment). The flippers that bought it were so eager they asked if he could move his remaining stuff in the garage so they could "paint it out" even before actual closing. Last I checked it's still available. He's in Vegas and he calls me on his cell phone from his rented condo-tel! A narrow escape.

132   speedingpullet   2006 Jul 14, 2:40am  

Governor Conan Says:
July 13th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
SpeedingPullet (or Bullet?):

Speeding Pullet.
As in A Very Fast Young Female Chicken, from the french Poulet.
It seems to be a joke that works better in the UK, as more people over there know what a pullet is...

SQT Says:
July 13th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
Speedingpullet

Welcome to our humble blog.

Thank you!
I'll try not to track dirt into the house or break any furniture.

133   Joe Schmoe   2006 Jul 14, 2:49am  

Speedingpullet,

No, not joking. I am a true blue (or is that true red) Bush voter, 100% in agreement with the administration's foreign policy.

But that's just politics. We may have our political differences, but we are all united in our view of the housing bubble, flippers, loose lending standards, Realtors, etc.

Like you, I live in LA, in the San Gabriel Valley to be precise. I don't know of any local blogs, although the subject of SoCal comes up quite often in all of the housing bubble discussions.

Welcome! Hope you stay a while!

134   KurtS   2006 Jul 14, 2:56am  

i believe there’s been an extra long run on property...my argument here is that property was bullish from 88-06, i.e. an 18 year run

Yes, I think there is a general consensus that RE has been a good place to park money, ever since that rally in the late 80's. Never mind the flat market from '90-95, it doesn't register on people's radar any more (if ever). That said, it's hard to figure out why people expected such incredible annual returns by 2000? Perhaps the tech bubble and RE industry cheerleading played a large role in psychology? People love hearing good news.

135   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 4:19am  

Test

136   surfer-x   2006 Jul 14, 4:23am  

es

137   Joe Schmoe   2006 Jul 14, 4:24am  

Does anyone know what the definition of a "townhouse" is?

When I think of a townhouse, I think of a Brownstone, or a row house; i.e. there's a garage and two stories on top of it. You share the left and right walls with your neighbors, but there is no one on top of you or beneath you.

But recently I have heard a "townhouse" defined as seperarte structures, spaced closely together, that all look alike.

Does anyone have any input on what the correct definition should be?

138   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 4:37am  

Does anyone know what the definition of a “townhouse” is?

I don't think it has a definition. Some "townhouses" are attached single-family houses. Some are actually just condominiums. I believe it is mostly a marketing term.

But I am NOT a realtor. So correct me if I am wrong.

139   DinOR   2006 Jul 14, 4:52am  

Joe Schmoe.

Good question. I've raised that issue time and again w/realtors and others with no definitive answer. Here's my problem; back in the 1970's I believe when the whole idea of "condos' was born the concept was that they were comfortable, expenses were shared and they were modestly priced for empty nesters to facilitate downsizing.

How did this become soooo perveted? In many cases a couple would wind up spending as much if not more than what they sold their "family" house for!

Please keep the pergraniteel and just give us an AFFORDABLE place to sleep when we're not "up at the hospital"! It's as if there is a concerted effort to make sure you don't keep a dime from the sale of your previous home. AND, once your former co-workers and friends buy into this crap how in God's name are you ever going to convince your wife that "good enough" is good enough? I've heard it said that the money spent on granite counter tops and pergo should be spent on soundproofing! But then again it's difficult to "sell an intangible" like that when with the wave of a hand you can simply gesture to "built in sound surround system" like Vanna Fricken White!

140   speedingpullet   2006 Jul 14, 5:15am  

Joe Schmoe Says:
July 14th, 2006 at 11:24 am
Does anyone know what the definition of a “townhouse” is?

As far as I can figure, its what the UK calls a "Terrace House"....ie exterior wals shared with a house one either side (or "End of Terrace" - one common wall and detatched on the other - typically more expensive because they're normally larger, or have larger gardens).

141   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 5:22am  

I’ve heard it said that the money spent on granite counter tops and pergo should be spent on soundproofing!

Counter tops and pergo are quite cheap actually.

142   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 5:44am  

I believe, as Peter P says, that being hired was a case of being in the right place at the right time.

Possibly so.

Freewill is an illusion. :)

143   DinOR   2006 Jul 14, 5:51am  

newsfreak,

Congrats and Good Luck! Sounds better than a cube farm!

144   DinOR   2006 Jul 14, 5:58am  

Peter P,

I guess the point I was trying to make was that having all of this "eye candy" doesn't mean much to me (or most people) if you can hear your neighbor flush at 3:00am. The units we live in are "fairly" soundproof but the tile countertops are a pain to keep clean looking and the pergo scratches just like a car finish. Unlike real hardwood where the wear patterns and scuff add character the pergo looks, well....... scratched!

I suppose I don't care how "high end" or "up scale" they might be I'm not paying 500K+ for any condo/townhome/townhouse! Again, I thought the idea was "affordable" so your only expenses would be HOA's and taxes? What went wrong here?

145   DinOR   2006 Jul 14, 6:02am  

This Saturday all of the guests for my daughter's engagement dinner will walk right past our collapsed (but very "high end") gutter. I'm just glad my wife's rath will be directed toward the management company and the owner, not me! Wish me luck guys.

146   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 6:09am  

Again, I thought the idea was “affordable” so your only expenses would be HOA’s and taxes? What went wrong here?

It is still relatively affordable and maintenance free. There are many types of granite and stone. Some may require more care.

I hate pergo. I like Zodiaq countertops.

147   NARB   2006 Jul 14, 6:13am  

Is it too soon to call BB Bendover? As in bendover for Shrub and Congress? Is he really able to operate free from political restraints?

148   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 6:17am  

Corian is bland, I declared war on tan a few houses ago.

Take a look at Zodiaq. It has texture.

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