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Police: Realtor® Murders Possibly Related


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2006 Jul 12, 6:35pm   16,971 views  204 comments

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Ponzi scheme promoter
"Bring it on, I'm not afraid," says David Lereah

The Disassociated Press
By Jeff Gannon
July 12, 2006

A series of shootings that wounded 13 California Realtors® statewide during the past two months may be linked to an earlier set of assaults, slayings and the reckless speculative mania that killed four San Diego agents, police said Tuesday.

Clues in the serial shootings possibly point to the same perpetrator, San Diego Police Inspector Clouseau said, but so little is known that detectives are frustrated and need help to break the case.

'We have no description,' said Clouseau. 'This has been very perplexing for us. To have this many incidents without at least one witness, it's not making sense. All of them occurred during open houses in vacant condo towers all over the city, so you'd think there would have been some interested buyers around at the time, right? So far, we haven't even found one! '

Clouseau said investigators connected the two sets of crimes after discovering new information related to some underwater flippers and f@cked borrowers. He declined to elaborate, saying only that 'we believed in potential for this kind of vigilantism existed ever since affordability levels dropped below 8%.'

Detectives have been tracking the 13 shootings, which began May 2, as part of an unusual f@cked borrower crime wave. Police said they believe the recent shootings are related to 25 shootings that began when month-over-month prices began to fall in November 2005 and killed at least four people: two sub-prime mortgage brokers, plus a Realtor® and house "stager", who were hosting empty open houses. The actress who played "Suzanne" in the notorious Century 21 commercials has also been shot, though unfortunately it's looking like she will recover.

The 13 latest shootings all happened early in the morning, when eager buyers should have been lined up to start bidding wars --but weren't. "I don't know what's more depressing," said Ginger Bohland-Aliotta, "being a potential murder victim, or having to sit around all day staring at empty rooms while my youth and will to live slowly drains out of me. Frankly, I think I'd rather take the bullet."

Clouseau said he thinks more than one person may be responsible, and one of the suspects drives a light-blue colored 1963 T-Bird. Clouseau wouldn't say if he thought the shooter fired from the car, or what kind of gun might have been used.

Since August, a local FB task force has also been trying to catch a serial refinancer dubbed the "Equity Liberator", who authorities believe is responsible for obtaining five fraudulent HELOCs and a series of stated-income cash-out refis, when he actually had no job and was equity negative.

San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders announced a $100,000 reward for information about either the serial Realtor® killer or the Equity Liberator.

According to a self described "debunker of Realt-Whore propaganda" who spoke on condition of anonymity, the killers may also be targeting high-profile Realtors®, such as NAR chief economist and media whore David Lereah. "After he wrote that execrable book, Liar-realtor basically signed his own death warrant," says our source. "He's going to catch a bullet eventually --it's 'in the bag'. And speaking of 'in the bag', I'm convinced Gary Watts may be next in line, and possibly Leslie 'equity liberation' Appleton-Young."

Lereah's CAR partner in crime
"I could be next," chirps Leslie Appleton-Young

OC bag-man
"My violent end is 'in the bag'," insists Gary Watts

When asked what these real estate lightening rods could do to protect themselves from homicidal f@cked borrowers, our informant offered this advice: "Whatever you do, don't vary your daily routine. Make sure you keep doing the same things you always do the exact same way. That way, you'll throw the stalkers off guard, because they'll be expecting you to change your pattern."

"Besides," he added, "if you start doing things like wearing kevlar or having guards follow you everywhere, then the killers have already won, right?. I mean, what better way to demonstrate your iron resolve and committment to housing than by NOT protecting yourself. Only pussies 'cut and run' when they're threatened. You're not a pussy, are you David...?"

He also added, "On a totally unrelated topic, if anyone reading this happens to have David, Leslie or Gary's home address, could you please contact me? No particular reason..."

Copyright 2006 The Disassociated Press. All wrongs denied. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, redistributed, spoofed, read aloud, publicly derided or used as birdcage liner.

________________________________________________________
DISCLAIMER:
This “news” story is a SPOOF/SATIRE meant for ENTERTAINMENT purposes only. Do not misinterpret this in any way as a “signal” that it’s ok to start shooting or assaulting Realtors. There are lots of nice, honest realtors out there just as disgusted with this mess as we are –George being one of them– nor did realtors “start the fire”. We can thank the Fed, Congress and the GSEs for that honor.

I and the owner of this blog are in no way responsible for anyone else’s irresponsible and/or illegal actions. --HARM

To see the original news story that inspired this spoof, click here.
________________________________________________________

#housing

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146   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 6:09am  

Again, I thought the idea was “affordable” so your only expenses would be HOA’s and taxes? What went wrong here?

It is still relatively affordable and maintenance free. There are many types of granite and stone. Some may require more care.

I hate pergo. I like Zodiaq countertops.

147   NARB   2006 Jul 14, 6:13am  

Is it too soon to call BB Bendover? As in bendover for Shrub and Congress? Is he really able to operate free from political restraints?

148   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 6:17am  

Corian is bland, I declared war on tan a few houses ago.

Take a look at Zodiaq. It has texture.

150   KurtS   2006 Jul 14, 6:23am  

I've always had a weird take on townhomes. I've always thought of them as several stories, sharing at least one wall, and a seperate address (not #5, etc.)

151   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 6:32am  

I hate where the sink meets the counter.

Then you need Corian for the seamless look. :)

152   skibum   2006 Jul 14, 6:32am  

Joe,

My understanding, having lived in a brownstone in the past, is that townhouse or townhome specifies shared sidewalls, separate entrance, and no other units either below or above yours. This is distinct from condo, which allows by definition units above or below yours. Brownstone is even less well defined. Brownstone is the soft stone material originally used to build the accents on buildings we now call brownstones, usually for the frame around the front door, the steps leading up to the front door, and often the window mantles. I think the common confusion is that many call any brick low-rise older building a brownstone.

153   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 6:34am  

My biggest beef with new construction is the chopped up rooflines. None seems to think about where the rain or snow will go.

The deal is closed by the time it rains.

154   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 6:42am  

RE: townhouses

Also, I think it may have something to do with the form of landownership and the role of the HOA.

155   speedingpullet   2006 Jul 14, 7:29am  

San Fernando Valley haiku:

Oh, how I wish
it would rain here.
Both my cats sleep
under the AC vents.

156   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 7:58am  

In my case, it worked well for me. The place had a garage roof problem and it was repaired fully paid for by the HOA.

But you can also be assessed for damages in other units, as the HOA does not have an electronic printing press.

157   HARM   2006 Jul 14, 8:06am  

Just had another chat with the same friend & co-worker I mentioned before who just recently "discovered" RE speculating as the path to perpetual wealth. He was very excited as he told me all about his new membership with the local Marshall E. Reddick chapter of "investors" and how he already "owns" two properties in Utah & TX (using the requisite NINA I/O financing, of course) and is considering a third in AK.

Naturally, I asked him how if he was basing his "profits" on the actual cash flow (i.e., rents) on the properties vs. the guaranteed 2-digit/yr appreciation. He whipped out the Marshall Reddick "estimated cash flow" summary sheet for the AK property, which showed a net gain of $116/mo. I have no idea how they arrived at those numbers, so I asked him if he'd actually ever been to AK and checked out the local rental market to see if this "estimate" was even accurate. He said no (of course), but then explained to me that the kind folks at Marshall Reddick got them from the local realtors association, and those folks would never lie because (he actually said this): "Marshall Reddick has a lot of pull and generates so much business for them, they'd be afraid to mess with us".

At that point I congratulated him on his fine acquisition and recommended he look into investing in a good sturdy pair of kneepads and an extra-large jar of K-Y. Never know when those might come in handy.

158   speedingpullet   2006 Jul 14, 8:08am  

Speaking of which...has is anyone here in the process of renting a place?

We have a friend staying with us at the moment, who is looking for a place to live. He thought he'd found the ideal place - 2b/2b SFH here in Van Nuys for 2K pcm.

The problem came when the Rentor asked him for an unbelieveable 14K for a deposit!!

All the places I've rented ask for First-and-Last, maybe with a small deposit in case you accidentally trash the carpet or something.

My guess would be that the Rentor is a FB desperately trying to recoup some money.

Anyone else heard of ridiculous deposits recently?
And - is it actually legal to do that here in CA?

159   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 8:13am  

Anyone else heard of ridiculous deposits recently?
And - is it actually legal to do that here in CA?

http://www.latimes.com/classified/realestate/la-000006758jan27,0,515074.story?coll=la-class-realestate

Unfurnished rentals have a set limit that cannot exceed two months' worth of rent. For example, if your rent is $1,000 a month, the maximum security deposit you can be asked to pay for an unfurnished place is $2,000. At move-in, your cost could be $3,000 total (deposit plus rent for the first month).

160   Peter P   2006 Jul 14, 8:28am  

There was a report i read that landlords even kicked out a old lady becouse they where turning it to a condo…………Greed is the key?

There is karma. They may reincarnate into lobsters.

161   HARM   2006 Jul 14, 8:36am  

There was a report i read that landlords even kicked out a old lady becouse they where turning it to a condo

You must be mistaken. All of my rich Boomer friends have assured me that Prop. 13 solved the "homeless grandma" problem here decades ago. Surely, Prop. 13's altruistic and benevolent architects thought to include low-income senior renters under Prop. 13's perfect umbrella of "protection", right?

162   speedingpullet   2006 Jul 14, 9:09am  

Thanks for the link Peter P :-)

I've passed it on to him. Don't suppose it will make any difference to him renting that place, but at least he knows for future reference.

163   Joe Schmoe   2006 Jul 14, 9:18am  

No affordability post today, everyone. Sorry. I am trying to actually get some work done today.

164   Joe Schmoe   2006 Jul 14, 9:18am  

ps Newsfreak,

Congrats on the new slave!

165   Mike/a.k.a.Sage   2006 Jul 14, 4:19pm  

How about this for a thread topic.

Total revenues from real estate transactions in the first half of 2006 down $? billion compared with the first half of 2005.

Who is feeling the pain of reduced revenues? How much pain are real estate agents, title companies, banks, brokers, and local governments from reduced transfer taxes, etc., feeling from the lower number of sales? With many markets sales down 30, 40, 50% over last year at this time, there must be a word of hurt out there. This is like Google revenues x 1000 being lost by our economy.

166   Different Sean   2006 Jul 14, 5:49pm  

The Sheriff in Az has the best idea ever. Outlawed illegals and it has removed them. And if DS doesn’t agree with the sheriff’s actions, then we can all rest assured it is a great idea for all of America.

when did i ever say i supported vast waves of illegal immigration across borders (refugee situations notwithstanding)? i HAVE noted there is a delicate irony in the fact that texas, new mexico and california were taken from mexico by the US in an act of war in 1848, and there is a small social movement in mexico that believes they have a right to take it back. further, the deliberate creation of NAFTA by US business interests would imply to me certain social obligations and the right of transit to client states such as mexico by the US, similar to the EU...

167   Different Sean   2006 Jul 14, 6:09pm  

I am a true blue (or is that true red) Bush voter, 100% in agreement with the administration’s foreign policy.

well, that just goes to show how moronic the average uneducated but enfranchised voter can be, and why democracy clearly has its weaknesses.

if you'd just read the article i've read about the true situation in afghanistan at present, with a parliament made up of war criminals, ex-taliban and drug traffickers (who are actively selling heroin into america), and the way 'democracy' is really only about horse-trading between clan leaders, where female representatives sleep in a different house every night and are threatened with rape and mutilation in parliament, you would realise what a sham the ridiculous american foreign policy rhetoric is concerning 'pacifying' barbaric oil-rich countries and oil corridors. if every nation-state enacted policies like the US's blatant self-interest and crooked and corrupt rhetoric towards everyone else, tensions and conflicts of interest would very quickly rise to a level similar to 19th century europe, serious wars would break out everywhere, and world war would be inevitable. so it's an asymmetric, unsustainable, militaristic, barbaric and untenable set of policies which are continually being counteracted by china, russia, india and europe, preventing most americans from ever traveling overseas (except by joining the army and becoming an occupying force) or broadening their world view, and making the country a laughing stock to the rest of the world for its blatant hypocrisy and clearly unbridled greed.

the other article i read was on the level of slaughter of sunni muslims by the sanctioned iraqi police force and interior ministry, where dozens of people are being found shot in the head, or jailed to be subsequently starved and tortured. false roadblocks are being set up to massacre whole groups of people. you have created the grounds for an ethnic and religious civil war by your nonsensical 'change of regime'. at least hussein held the country together, after being given borders by the departing french and english occupying colonial forces.

it would take decades, if not centuries, if not forever, to alter the mindset in the middle east, where people are really not interested in the idea of 'democracy', due to longstanding clan-based social patterns of organisation and a highly militarised and theocratic culture. to believe the US could ever do so, and do it as some sort of suggested act of perfect altruism, is a complete and ridiculous fantasy.

168   Mike/a.k.a.Sage   2006 Jul 14, 6:33pm  

The money made from arms trading is big business, and that's no adjustable rate mortgage I'm talking about. The big boys are reaping huge profits from this. China, Russia, and the USA, selling death and destruction to third world countries, so that they can kill each other. What if the world leaders got together and banned this kind of activity. The world would be a much safer place.

169   Different Sean   2006 Jul 14, 6:39pm  

Who is feeling the pain of reduced revenues? How much pain are real estate agents, title companies, banks, brokers, and local governments from reduced transfer taxes, etc., feeling from the lower number of sales? With many markets sales down 30, 40, 50% over last year at this time, there must be a word of hurt out there. This is like Google revenues x 1000 being lost by our economy.

yeah, but remember their revenues went up 100% over 10 years first... the only issue is that so many more people decided to go into mortgage brokerage or real estate sales to cash in on the boom, and may have to amalgamate to survive, take a commission cut, or shut their doors. my heart bleeds...

my mortgage broking mate in DC is still making $250K a year, working from home as a sole trader with no boss, and bought what is now (maybe a little shakily) $3M worth of property before the boom in prime locations...

170   Different Sean   2006 Jul 14, 6:44pm  

one afghani warlord was upset he had to surrender 3 US-manufactured and supplied Stinger missiles to gain credibility. he said they would have been worth $150K each to a pakistani arms dealer... meanwhile, because some warlords are so nasty and have killed so many people they could never get into parliament, they put their wives up instead as representatives for the clan, who are there simply to represent their interests...

171   Different Sean   2006 Jul 14, 7:20pm  

This is like Google revenues x 1000 being lost by our economy.

Remember also it's internal land-pricing inflation with no increase in economic productivity or output (not counting new construction). This also 'artificially' inflates GDP reports, creating the illusion of true 'economic growth' by a stupid or complicit press and unquestioning public. it is actually just borrowing against the future in what amounts to a giant Ponzi scheme, as per the alt text on the illustrious David Lereah pic above...

172   Peter P   2006 Jul 15, 4:56am  

I am just glad the markets are closed for 2 days.

Otherwise, oil would already probably be over $80.

Yeah, but it may open at 85 on Monday.

173   HARM   2006 Jul 15, 5:07am  

well, that just goes to show how moronic the average uneducated but enfranchised voter can be, and why democracy clearly has its weaknesses.

DS,

I also don't agree with Joe's stand on the Bush Administration and our highly selective/self-serving 'War on Terror', but this comes dangerously close to a personal attack. Argue politics with other bloggers all you like --just keep it civil and attack positions, not people.

174   Different Sean   2006 Jul 15, 7:03am  

tsk tsk...

far be it from me to come dangerously close to a personal attack after the shocking mayhem of the interventions in the middle east in order to secure resources...

delete the para if you really must... at least i stood for something in this life...

175   HARM   2006 Jul 15, 8:46am  

This ain't Beirut fellah, and last time I checked you weren't Mother Theresa either ;-) .

During my early months as moderator, on those occasions when I tolerated gratuitous personal attacks (or wasn't around to actively moderate), I would witness the blog degenerating quickly into crude, pointless flame-wars. This would disgust and drive away other bloggers and "poison the well" so to speak. This is why the "don't get personal" rule stays in effect on my threads.

Now... OTH, if you'd like to author/moderate some of your own threads, then the cool part is --you get to set the ground rules! Last time I checked, you had authoring rights. Based on personal experience, I'd recommend you follow my rule too, but if ugly, rude flame wars are your thing --then, hey, go knock yourself out! It's a (mostly) free blogosphere, right? :-)

176   HARM   2006 Jul 15, 8:54am  

Oh, and btw, if you're hoping to bring someone around to your point of view, I've found that mutual respect combined with compelling arguments, supporting evidence and an open mind works a whole lot better than personal insults. It doesn't always work, but it's far preferable to the alternative (demagogue shouting matches a-la Anne Coulter vs. Michael Moore).

177   Mike/a.k.a.Sage   2006 Jul 15, 2:05pm  

If people could just stop looking the other way, get their heads out of their ass, and see the truth about what is really going on, about illegals sucking the life blood out of the citizens of this country, we would all be screaming bloody murder at our elected officials to do something about this. In Hazelton, PA they did do something extraordinary about this situation. I applaud them and hope other local governments follow in their footsteps.

178   Peter P   2006 Jul 15, 3:23pm  

let alone living among 281 renters

What? It has 281 sub-human renters? It is going to be bitter. Fully of jealousy. :)

179   Mike/a.k.a.Sage   2006 Jul 15, 4:07pm  

How many entrepreneurs, i.e. flippers, in the real estate market have gone broke and lost everything this year so far? The entrepreneurial loses must be astounding.

180   Different Sean   2006 Jul 15, 4:32pm  

i would suggest it's somewhat inflammatory to post comments like 'i'm 100% behind george bush's foreign policy' which is designed to be a red rag to a bull, don't you think? there's bound to be differences of opinion on a blog which can range over any subject. but i think it's extremely provocative to post comments like that without rebuttal, given the huge loss of life and horrific maimings and ongoing terror inside iraq from the threat of suicide bombings, not to mention massacres of civilians and indiscriminate 'shoot first and ask questions later' policies of the US forces, in the interests of 'freedom' and 'democracy'. it seems when people get 'freedom' in some parts of the world, their first thought is to degenerate into internecine civil war and bring out the squabbles of the past. it's clearly not going well for the repubs and neocons, even tho they manage to sugar coat the situation fairly well thru the captive media and the clever use of propaganda and spin.

i guess if i were a citizen of the roman empire, i would be '100%' for the military invasion of persia to turn it into a vassal state also, or the conquering of gaul, so i could plunder their treasuries and start farming taxes. it's all good.

i would also suggest someone who was '100%' behind the policy would therefore be avidly signing up to patrol over landmines in a HWWMV, and shooting at anything that moved in the national interest.

it's not an attempt to get personal, but if i just said 'tut, tut, that's hardly the way' it wouldn't have much impact with your average died-in-the-wool unthinking militarist, would it now? maybe the poster might stop and think 'yes, i really am a moron' when they're actually challenged. your country is going down the gurgler and has already set itself back decades in international relations, and i guarantee the unpleasant after-effects will continue to reverberate for decades to come.

181   Jimbo   2006 Jul 15, 5:22pm  

Oh DS, you are far too easy to troll. Grow some thicker skin.

182   Mike/a.k.a.Sage   2006 Jul 15, 5:27pm  

What about all the risk-takers who stuck their necks out too far and had their heads cut off? I'm sick of the news media glorifying entrepreneurs and risk-takers, as if prudence is not a virtue.

183   Different Sean   2006 Jul 15, 7:51pm  

Oh DS, you are far too easy to troll. Grow some thicker skin.

who's trolling? 8O hee hee

184   astrid   2006 Jul 15, 11:22pm  

I do feel sort of sorry for these people. They were buying into a condo conversion so they probably couldn't do a proper inspection prior to signing a contract, and most of their woes are due to the shoddy nature of the conversion. Of course, they should have gotten an thorough inspection before the handover.

Still, what the hell were they doing buying a new car when "Michael" quit his job, "Heidi" and the cats are sick, and their condo was an obvious money pit?

185   ric   2006 Jul 15, 11:27pm  

That dog "Lucky", he doesn't sound so lucky.

You can make your donation to Mike and Heidi here.

http://www.powerinfusion.com/condo.htm

Much as I tried, I couldn't get the thing to accept the bullet I was trying to donate.

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