patrick.net

Ok, I'll start.

"Maybe you should take one of them"

"So do I, each one lower than the last"

"Are any of them as riduclously high as your asking price"

Probably depends on your area. For me, we say nothing and watch the house sell to one of the higher offers. Actually, the most recent time it was "9 higher offers." You should see the looks on their faces when the house sells, and they get their 3%.

SIX PEOPLE! are going to live in THIS house?
What are they Guatemalan?
...well maybe this the neighborhood for me.

Then hang up.

"Why should I care and why are you wasting my time talking to me if you have better offers."

"Obviously you should take the higher offer, right?"

“If I were you, I would take the highest offer.”

" I'll Give ten dollars over the highest offer."

I once met the same realtor at a home, that went PENDING and back to ACTIVE within a month.

He said : "we have 4 offers already"
ME : "last time during the open house you said you had multiple offers, and house is back on the market."
Him : "hehee, yeah the offers fell through"
Me : "yeah sure buddy, we all know this MULTIPLE OFFER game" (I did a quotation with my hands for 'multiple offers' and walked out.

Felt pretty good!

pkowen says

“So do I, each one lower than the last”

“Are any of them as riduclously high as your asking price”

Classic! As camping says, it depends on the area. In my area(94087), they most likely have 30-40% of the number they mention. when they say 6, it usually means 2 people have an offer. I could come back and see in the MLS later, it would've sold over 1k or 2k over asking. Its a good sign per se. It used to be 30-40K over asking, idiots!

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Garden-Grove/11932-Debbie-Ln-92840/home/3958908

"Over" 20 offers.... we said 'oh hell no'.

Aw, you guys need to think like a realtor. A sarcastic punchline ends the charade way too quickly. If they're playing a sucker game with you, you owe them a sucker game back! I'd start off with:

"Oh my! What do you think we should do? Should we come up even with the highest offer, or should we bid 10% more immediately to be sure our offer is better than everyone else's? Do you think that will be enough?"

Once you get the realtor salivating uncontrollably, work them with all sorts of little hesitations. "I don't know, I wasn't crazy about the tile in the bathroom. ... But did you see the candles? I didn't like their taste in decorations! That vase was like fingernails on a chalkboard. ... What about the flowers, honey? I'd prefer tulips. They didn't have any tulips. ... What about the cat hair? You know I don't like cats."

See how many ridiculous tasks you can get them to sign up for. That'll give you an indication of their true level of desperation. At the very end, you can cave hopelessly and say, "I guess there's just no chance of us getting this property, if there's so many other bidders. Maybe the next one." Act petulant and disappointed. Distantly imply that losing the deal was the realtor's fault. Ask if they can find out the realtor for the winning bidder.

A few days later, dump the realtor anyway. After all, do you really want a realtor who is either: 1) blatantly trying to pump up your buying price, or 2) too dumb to realize the other realtors are playing them for a fool?

Brand says

Aw, you guys need to think like a realtor. A sarcastic punchline ends the charade way too quickly. If they’re playing a sucker game with you, you owe them a sucker game back! I’d start off with:
“Oh my! What do you think we should do? Should we come up even with the highest offer, or should we bid 10% more immediately to be sure our offer is better than everyone else’s? Do you think that will be enough?”
Once you get the realtor salivating uncontrollably, work them with all sorts of little hesitations. “I don’t know, I wasn’t crazy about the tile in the bathroom. … But did you see the candles? I didn’t like their taste in decorations! That vase was like fingernails on a chalkboard. … What about the flowers, honey? I’d prefer tulips. They didn’t have any tulips. … What about the cat hair? You know I don’t like cats.”
See how many ridiculous tasks you can get them to sign up for. That’ll give you an indication of their true level of desperation. At the very end, you can cave hopelessly and say, “I guess there’s just no chance of us getting this property, if there’s so many other bidders. Maybe the next one.” Act petulant and disappointed. Distantly imply that losing the deal was the realtor’s fault. Ask if they can find out the realtor for the winning bidder.
A few days later, dump the realtor anyway. After all, do you really want a realtor who is either: 1) blatantly trying to pump up your buying price, or 2) too dumb to realize the other realtors are playing them for a fool?

These are all fantastic.