patrick.net

Ok, I'll start.

"Maybe you should take one of them"

"So do I, each one lower than the last"

"Are any of them as riduclously high as your asking price"

Probably depends on your area. For me, we say nothing and watch the house sell to one of the higher offers. Actually, the most recent time it was "9 higher offers." You should see the looks on their faces when the house sells, and they get their 3%.

SIX PEOPLE! are going to live in THIS house?
What are they Guatemalan?
...well maybe this the neighborhood for me.

Then hang up.

"Why should I care and why are you wasting my time talking to me if you have better offers."

"Obviously you should take the higher offer, right?"

“If I were you, I would take the highest offer.”

" I'll Give ten dollars over the highest offer."

I once met the same realtor at a home, that went PENDING and back to ACTIVE within a month.

He said : "we have 4 offers already"
ME : "last time during the open house you said you had multiple offers, and house is back on the market."
Him : "hehee, yeah the offers fell through"
Me : "yeah sure buddy, we all know this MULTIPLE OFFER game" (I did a quotation with my hands for 'multiple offers' and walked out.

Felt pretty good!

pkowen says

“So do I, each one lower than the last”

“Are any of them as riduclously high as your asking price”

Classic! As camping says, it depends on the area. In my area(94087), they most likely have 30-40% of the number they mention. when they say 6, it usually means 2 people have an offer. I could come back and see in the MLS later, it would've sold over 1k or 2k over asking. Its a good sign per se. It used to be 30-40K over asking, idiots!

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Garden-Grove/11932-Debbie-Ln-92840/home/3958908

"Over" 20 offers.... we said 'oh hell no'.

Aw, you guys need to think like a realtor. A sarcastic punchline ends the charade way too quickly. If they're playing a sucker game with you, you owe them a sucker game back! I'd start off with:

"Oh my! What do you think we should do? Should we come up even with the highest offer, or should we bid 10% more immediately to be sure our offer is better than everyone else's? Do you think that will be enough?"

Once you get the realtor salivating uncontrollably, work them with all sorts of little hesitations. "I don't know, I wasn't crazy about the tile in the bathroom. ... But did you see the candles? I didn't like their taste in decorations! That vase was like fingernails on a chalkboard. ... What about the flowers, honey? I'd prefer tulips. They didn't have any tulips. ... What about the cat hair? You know I don't like cats."

See how many ridiculous tasks you can get them to sign up for. That'll give you an indication of their true level of desperation. At the very end, you can cave hopelessly and say, "I guess there's just no chance of us getting this property, if there's so many other bidders. Maybe the next one." Act petulant and disappointed. Distantly imply that losing the deal was the realtor's fault. Ask if they can find out the realtor for the winning bidder.

A few days later, dump the realtor anyway. After all, do you really want a realtor who is either: 1) blatantly trying to pump up your buying price, or 2) too dumb to realize the other realtors are playing them for a fool?

Brand says

Aw, you guys need to think like a realtor. A sarcastic punchline ends the charade way too quickly. If they’re playing a sucker game with you, you owe them a sucker game back! I’d start off with:
“Oh my! What do you think we should do? Should we come up even with the highest offer, or should we bid 10% more immediately to be sure our offer is better than everyone else’s? Do you think that will be enough?”
Once you get the realtor salivating uncontrollably, work them with all sorts of little hesitations. “I don’t know, I wasn’t crazy about the tile in the bathroom. … But did you see the candles? I didn’t like their taste in decorations! That vase was like fingernails on a chalkboard. … What about the flowers, honey? I’d prefer tulips. They didn’t have any tulips. … What about the cat hair? You know I don’t like cats.”
See how many ridiculous tasks you can get them to sign up for. That’ll give you an indication of their true level of desperation. At the very end, you can cave hopelessly and say, “I guess there’s just no chance of us getting this property, if there’s so many other bidders. Maybe the next one.” Act petulant and disappointed. Distantly imply that losing the deal was the realtor’s fault. Ask if they can find out the realtor for the winning bidder.
A few days later, dump the realtor anyway. After all, do you really want a realtor who is either: 1) blatantly trying to pump up your buying price, or 2) too dumb to realize the other realtors are playing them for a fool?

These are all fantastic.

We've used this one:

6%'er: "We've had several offers"

Us: "Oh, really?" >crestfallen look< "OK. We can't compete with that... thanks anyway..."

6%'er: "Well, don't you at least want to put in a bid? you never know..."

Us: "No, that's OK. We aren't into biding wars. We just don't work like that, and we won't make offers under pressure. It's just not good practice, we look at a lot of properties and need time to evaluate them, think things through. But thanks again..."

6%'er: "But you can bid and then work things out, it's only a bid deposit and they never cash the check"

Us: " I'm really sorry but we just don't operate like that... right? (look to spouse, who gravely shakes head at 6%'er and frowns). Thanks anyway."

Leave the premises. Realtor looks unhappy and aggravated.

Go to the bar later, LMAO thinking the moron's game blew up in their face. Best part is, all we said was true.

Here's another one we've used when the salesperson asks if they can show us more houses than the one I asked about, it drives them CRAZY:

Realtor: "How much is your budget?"

Us: "That depends."

Realtor: "But how much is your price range? It will help me find appropriate listings for you."

Us: "It depends on the house. Our price range for one house will be different than another."

Realtor: "But you must have an idea how much you are willing to spend"

Us: "What we are willing to spend depends on the house. If a house is overpriced or presents some kind of nightmare, we aren't willing to spend anything at all. We are willing to spend more on a house in good shape and more land than something on the highway and less land. You see if a house is a good value for what it is, we will consider it".

Realtor gets huffy: "Well you must have an idea of what you are pre-qualified for, so you can buy the house"

Us: "That isn't an issue, we take care of that and don't waste anyone's time".

>Silence<

Realtor: "Can you give me a range where you'd like to work"

Us: "I'm sorry but not really, as if the house is worth $300,000 and they are asking $600,000, it's not in a range we'll pay".

Realtor: "I need a range to work with you"

Us: "I'm sorry but we make it a practice to not disclose that. We'll tell you if we are not interested in looking at something. We'll take a look at all listings between $0 to 2 million in ___ (xyz neighborhood)."

It has resulted in a broad range of listings, and eventually not one has refused to work with us. The vast majority of listings here are 'exclusive' and not on the MLS, it's like a cartel. No doubt it's the only way the leeches stay alive here.

I like to ask." never mind bidding on this cracker jack card board POS,...what's all this shadow inventory talk, when can i get in on that action?"

just dumb time waisting questions That get answered in different ways. I like to see them dance.