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Breeding the perfect CNBC reporter


               
2006 Sep 14, 3:57am   30,968 views  131 comments

by astrid   follow (0)  

Maria!

The last post is getting a bit unwieldy. Let's continue the utopia and eugenics discussions here.

If you need a starter, here it is - pick four couples for breeding the perfect CNBC reporter.

The link below will take you to CNBC's page for their on air personalities (thank you to skibum):

http://moneycentral.msn.com/Content/CNBCTV/AnchorsAndReporters/Index.asp

Disclaimer: This post is a parody about the CNBC and its on air personalities. The information contained in the post is offered in the spirit of speculative fun and is not intended as libel or slander on CNBC or its on air personalities.

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1   DinOR   @   2006 Sep 14, 4:15am  

I can't believe none of the guys has a crush on Susie Assad (Bloomberg TV?)

Sue Hagen used to be their anchor in the mornings but now only gets limited "face time" covering the NY Merc. I actually liked Sue b/c she called Bill Gross a "bear" to his face and was obviously unimpressed with his painful analogies!

2   Doug H   @   2006 Sep 14, 4:17am  

You pick the babe; here's my personal photo and will volunteer my services:

http://www.officialworld.net/pics/shiverinvegas.jpg

3   DinOR   @   2006 Sep 14, 4:19am  

Is it b/c Halloween is coming up or with the right lighting could Maria B. pass for "Elvira, Mistress of the Dark"?

4   astrid   @   2006 Sep 14, 5:07am  

At the risk of revealing way too much about myself

the Brangelina baby + Travis Bacon
Rebecca Romijn + Kiefer Sutherland
Elettra wiedemann + Stephen Colbert
Takeshi Kaneshiro + Chiara Mastroianni

5   astrid   @   2006 Sep 14, 5:10am  

Madeline Albright was pretty hot in her prime

If we're gonna go with the post-menopausal, then

Catherine Deneuve + Sean Connery

6   HARM   @   2006 Sep 14, 5:11am  

Robert Reich and Madeline Albright.

_suppressing gag reflex_

7   HARM   @   2006 Sep 14, 5:17am  

Right-wing:
Ann Coulter + Rush limbaugh

Left-wing:
Jeanine Garafalo + Michale Moore

8   HARM   @   2006 Sep 14, 5:17am  

- Michale
+Michael

9   Glen   @   2006 Sep 14, 5:48am  

Not all CNBC female reporters are hot. Consuelo Mack? Sue Herera? Liz Claman? Not hot.

CNBC specializes in brunettes. Along with Maria, there is Michele Caruso-Cabrera and the lesser known "Bianna": http://www.gogomag.com/bg2/ Maria, of course, is most notable because she is attractive and sounds very smart (NYU - major in journalism, minor in Econ).

Fox specializes in ditzy "Blandes," most of whom probably earned two year degrees in communications from their local community college before being "discovered" by the talent director at the local cable affiliate.

10   astrid   @   2006 Sep 14, 6:22am  

"Not all CNBC female reporters are hot. Consuelo Mack? Sue Herera? Liz Claman? Not hot."

Beats me, I haven't sat down to watch CNBC since before the tech crash.

"Jackie Bouvier"

Wow, dead people too?

FDR + Grace Kelly

11   DinOR   @   2006 Sep 14, 6:36am  

Glen,

Now that more women are controlling more money than ever before it seems they need to have "wholesome" gals too.

Kathleen Hayes may not be hot but she covers the market fairly well.

I can't believe nobody has mentioned America's favorite ditz Robin Meade on "Robin and Co."? I used to watch her show when she covered gen. news on CNN between 2:00 and 4:00am (west coast brokers). One time she was interviewing someone from the Treas. Dept. and said (I'm not kidding) "I'm sorry Sir, your name again?" "I forgot who I was interviewing!" But she's upbeat and attractive and people just seemed to like her. Instead of getting fired (like most of us would have) they promoted her to the 4:00 to 7:00am time slot!

12   Joe Schmoe   @   2006 Sep 14, 6:50am  

I'm an MSBNC viewer.

If you could only combine the approachable charisma and the taut, firm body of of Chris Jansing with the unapprocahble, cold and distant Ayran Alex Witt...OMG, I would TIVO every show.

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