patrick.net

Once upon a time in a neighborhood far far away developers made new zero plot line 3500 sqft. stucco homes for everyone to enjoy. These “homes” were valued beyond belief, for they were on the most hallowed ground in all-of-the-world, the San Francisco Bay Area. For a long while these magnificent edifices to all things boomer grew and grew in “value”, this of course was expected from Mr. Boomer and his second (third?) trophy-wife. After all, the entire world has curried their favor thus far, why shouldn’t their “home” provide an endless source of income in the form of cash out refi’s and HELOCs?

This world existed in peaceful harmony with all creatures big and small for many many moons. While the estates were labeled “McMansion” by some, their comments were taken on face value as these sort of mudslingers are typically just jealous bitter renters. All was well in Boomerville until an evil presence was felt. Rumors of a dark evil propaganda monger began to spread, and there was much fear. Ford Expeditions were piling up on the showroom floor and the Botox clinics no longer had waiting lists. For a short while it was whispered that this evil one sustained himself on the bitter tears shed by over-extended boomers.

This dark evil Prince of Propaganda upped the ante when he broadcast his vile diatribe for all to hear on the world wide web. A new sort of lighting fast propaganda delivery vehicle was developed, the blog, this device which has brought so much sorrow upon the happy development by the calm tranquil bay has come to be known as “Patrick.net”.

Patrick was a hideous vile hate filled little man; with venom coursing through his veins he sat by his cheap pine table writing his callous disparaging words. The “home-owners” were justifiably enraged. How dare one without the daring do to sign his life away make such callous and darn right mean statements? The rumor mongers at Patrick.net brought up, over and over again, terms that they clearly manufactured from some unknown, unverified data source, things such as “true valuation”, “reversion to mean” etc, were mentioned ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

The “home-owners” had a secret weapon though, not only was the Sweet Baby Jeebus on their side, but also were a group of skilled wordsmiths uniquely qualified to respond to the hooligans at Patrick.net. These Master Pulitzers were of course besmirched by Patrick’s neo-fascist online militia. One of Patricks Brownshirt’s, a creature so loathsome he goes by the name “HARM”, went so far as to call the skilled these skilled wordsmiths, “trolls”.

It was indeed a sad day in Boomerville, one can smell the bitter tears and only envision how sweet they taste to the horrible Patrick, sitting by his cheap pine table, in his pathetic rental.

Surfer-X