patrick.net

A: This year.

Q: Why should young Americans of all races including Asian-Americans, work hard to get an engineering degree instead of partying through college since the engineering graduate will face having the salary rug pulled out from under them by the H-1 program?

Q: Why should young Americans of all races including Asian-Americans, work hard to get an engineering degree instead of partying through college since the engineering graduate will face having the salary rug pulled out from under them by the H-1 program?

A: They shouldn't and statistics show that fewer students are getting into engineering than in previous years. If you are learning engineering because you really have a strong passion to learn it, then it shouldn't be a deterent.

Q: What is wrong with these people?

A: What is wrong with these people is that they are mad. Things aren't working out for them like in Revenge of the Nerds or the Sandy Frink character in Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. So they are mad. Hopefully they don't crack like Richard Wade Farley did.

Q: How crowded and unpleasant will Cupertino have to get before the H-1 people decide to settle down somewhere else?

A: No such thing. Crowded and unpleasant just means Cupertino is really really prime.

Q: What came first? Granite countertops or the housing bubble?

A: Granite countertops were around for a long time. The fact that they're in every house these days is because of the bubble. The "Slap in granite countertops and add 50K to your asking price" days are ending.

Q: Is it a good idea to stop reading this blog for, oh, say 9-12 months as part of a "avoid everything to do with housing right now, cause it just makes me feel sick"?

A: No. If you stopped reading patrick.net, you would still think about the housing bubble, and you would have no catharsis at all. You might spend a lot of time huddled in a fetal position while your neighbors puzzle why their house won't sell for $150,000 more than last year. patrick.net is a much better alternative.

Q: I have a 2/28 option ARM that will reset from 2% to 6.75% next month. The fools on patrick.net think that the value of my $1.1M house has dropped 10%, meaning that I'm, uh, maybe like (punches on calculator) $110,000 underwater. Holy s---, are you people nuts?!? No way! My home is in a PRIME SCHOOL DISTRICT! Just wait for the spring! Anyway, I can't afford the full payment (what's this "ammertizing" thing again?). Any chance you guys could get me into a no doc, stated income, pick-a-payment loan for 103% so I can take care of the refinancing costs, too?

A: I can't help you but do check your email SPAM folder.

Q: What is the ideal bathroom size?

(Allah, I'm just kind of freaked out by women who would post pictures of their engorged belly for all the world to see. I suppose it is a boon for pregnancy fetishists.)

A: (If you own your home), the ideal bathroom is the same size as the bathrooms in other homes in your neighborhood. The value of the home is based on the value of the land. Not the bathroom.

Q: Are you envious of those expectant mothers?

A: According to top East Bay architect Ronald McHamburgler of Danville, CA a home should have two bathrooms per bedroom with a minimum size of 10’x12’ (next to the servants quarters). Both bathrooms (his & her) in the master suite should be at least 20’x20’ (not counting the square footage of the sauna and should be larger if they have a have wood burning fireplace).

Q: I live near a super rich lady who has had a lot of plastic surgery. Things are usually quiet in the neighborhood since she is usually at her job on the east coast (she works in the same building as a richer lady from the neighborhood who has not has as much plastic surgery) but today there are a bunch of crazy ladies in pink out in front of her house making a lot of noise and cops and news trucks are making it hard to get down the street. How can I get the crazy ladies to leave the neighborhood and camp somewhere else (like Crawford, TX)?

A: The ideal bathroom has two components: the bath/vanity/shower and the "business" area. The bath area should be at least 150 square feet, with a jetted tub that can comfortably fit two, with a cold water cutout for the champagne bucket. The john itself should be about 25 feet square, separated from the bath proper and heavily ventilated.

Q: If the Bay Area devolves into an end-to-end gangland, who will have the most fortified compound--Larry Ellison or the geniuses at Google?

LOL. Three question stack... nice.

A: Wait till they are willing to have intimate relations with you in exchange for food.

Q: If you are in the Bay Area and they are of the same gender as you, you could probably still have intimate relations with them, if you wanted to. Where else in the world could you have such possibilities?

"Q: Are you envious of those expectant mothers?"

Yes. I've always wanted a little bundle of parasitic joy parked in my belly for about 9 months.

"Q: I live near a super rich lady who has had a lot of plastic surgery. Things are usually quiet in the neighborhood since she is usually at her job on the east coast (she works in the same building as a richer lady from the neighborhood who has not has as much plastic surgery) but today there are a bunch of crazy ladies in pink out in front of her house making a lot of noise and cops and news trucks are making it hard to get down the street. How can I get the crazy ladies to leave the neighborhood and camp somewhere else (like Crawford, TX)?"

A: Three words - fatal facelift accident. Three more words - Congresswomen B Gone.

"Q: If the Bay Area devolves into an end-to-end gangland, who will have the most fortified compound–Larry Ellison or the geniuses at Google?"

A: I hope the Google Boys will be properly protected. I like Google stuff much better than silly ole Oracle databases.

"Q: If you are in the Bay Area and they are of the same gender as you, you could probably still have intimate relations with them, if you wanted to. Where else in the world could you have such possibilities?"

A: All over the world. I myself would recommend the Colorado Spring chapter of Campus Republicans.

"Q: Why did this house in prime Palo Alto just drop it’s price by $100K this week? http://tinyurl.com/2gyoq3"

A: The owner took the house out for a dry cleaning last week and it shrunken to 890 sq ft.

Q: What will be the hot post-real estate career of 2010?

A: Collections

Q: Will the unwinding of the carry trade / subprime collapse / bubble implosion lead to a new great depression?

A: (Will the unwinding of the carry trade / subprime collapse / bubble implosion lead to a new great depression?) - Yes, soon.

Q: When this happens, who will suffer more: people in the U.S.A, or people in China?

A: People in China, but who cares what happens to them anyway.
Q: Who killed Hoffa?

"Q. Are you allowed to neuter close relatives who insist on buying this year, in order to prune back the stupid branch of your family tree?"

A: Sadly no. If the stupid branch doesn't die off, you may have to move away from the tree to survive.

Q: Doug H.'s question.

Q. Are you allowed to neuter close relatives who insist on buying this year, in order to prune back the stupid branch of your family tree?

A: No. What are they going to eat during the New Depression?

Q: Who killed Hoffa?

A: I killed Hoffa. But my Plausible Deniability-meter gives you a 0.002% chance of ever learning why.

Q: What is the probability, expressed in sigma, that our next President will be someone fiscally conservative but socially liberal?

A: (Our next President will be someone fiscally conservative but socially liberal) = (1/ chance a bill introduced to change the name of California to Mexifornia ). Don't try to solve for it, doing so would cause the universe to collapse upon itself and turn into something even stranger than it already is.

Q: What is going to be Putin's next exotic radioactive poison of choice?

A: People in China, but who cares what happens to them anyway.
Q: Who killed Hoffa?

A: No one; Hoffa is alive and well and lives next door to me.

Q: Peter Shiff believes that China will be better off and that their standard of living will rise while ours falls; why do others think differently?

Q: Peter Shiff believes that China will be better off and that their standard of living will rise while ours falls; why do others think differently?

A: Well, my standard of living will be okay because I'm in a prime area. The rest of you guys are pretty much screwed, though.

Q: If Steven Hawking was commenting on the real estate bubble, what would he say?

A; It wouldn't matter, because we would not be able to understand him.

Q: Why is "keeping face" so important to some people?

A: Because your reputation is the only thing that really outlives you.

Q: How concerned is Greenspan about his place in history right now?

A: “Face” is important to all people. Getting, giving, and saving.

Bap, I think you're thinking of head, not face.

Q: What came first, the overpriced-stucco-wrapped-crap-box or the 0% down, 120% ARM, no doc, stated loan, given to Jose’ the landscaper??

A: The overpriced stucco wrapped crap box. It's from 1932! :) But that just means it's vintage and retro...

Q: How would Darth Vader correct the housing bubble, assuming he wasn't allowed to vaporize California?

A: Darth wouldn't correct it. He always need more storm troopers who can't predict what's gonna happen if they try and take on Yoda. The bubble is his way of identifying candidates and will offer 'housing benefits' to anybody who joins up starting in 2008.

Q: How hot does it have to get before living in an apartment with no AC drive a person to buying a house with AC?

A: (How hot does it have to get before living in an apartment with no AC drive a person to buying a house with AC?)

It is an irrelevant question. The renter can find another rental that has AC, or else the renter can purchase a window unit.

Q: When will people quit using reasons like that as excuses to rationalize buying overpriced homes?

Q: When will people quit using reasons like that as excuses to rationalize buying overpriced homes?

A: Never. Because you cannot put a price on the intangibles associated with owning a house. If they rally think it's overpriced, they wouldn't buy it. Every buyer somehow always rationalizes the decision.

Q: When will MSM debunk the "median price gains" ?

A: When their readers can tell the difference between Median and Average. Which is just a really indirect way of saying "never".

Q: How long will it take before someone in MSM realizes that when the average price is going up, but volume is way down, that it actually means the normal end of market has stagnated? How long until MSM "journalists" start doing square footage comparisons to determine YoY gain/loss?

Bonus Q: Who will be the first mid-sized or large homebuilder to go belly-up in the bursting bubble?

“Q: Why did this house in prime Palo Alto just drop it’s price by $100K this week? http://tinyurl.com/2gyoq3″

~ anyone recall when a 800 sq bunghole in PA sold for 400K in 1999.
it made the local nightly news. Yes even in 1999 we had a bubble.
That 800K home really is *ucked up story. Even a 50% correction is
not enough to get to back to fundementals.... LOL

"Never. Because you cannot put a price on the intangibles associated with owning a house. "

That so reminds me of the clicks per page from the dot.com era. Intangibles become worthless overnight.

Q. What's the February median YOY price change in the next DQ release for the Bay Area? (Due out this week...)

A. Less than the January change.

Q. Given that the unadjusted sales volumes for March traditionally show a big jump from February, AND that subprime just tightened, will the adjusted sales volumes for this March show the lowest number for several years?

(Supplementary Q. Will the NAR fiddle the seasonal adjustment factor for March?)