patrick.net

Serpentor says

They lose the experience of interacting with other kids and learning interpersonal skills. How do they deal with bullies? Lead the soccer team to victory? Talk to girls? Go to the prom?

As you know, this whole topic is about the competitive parents who all want their kids to attend medical or top 20 law schools. The best way to do this is to save the money for those programs than in feeding private prep schools and undergrad residential programs.

And I think you know a couple of things ... adults sue each other. The schoolyard bully, after the age of 18, faces assault/battery charges. Thus, the best a bully can hope for is to be an A-hole at work as oppose to a thug on the streets. As for soccer & such, there's the Boys/Girls scouts and they can meet kids from all different townships, not just the primary neighborhood. After seeing the issues w/ teen pregnancy and then, sexual harassment suits in the workplace, I'm not sure that 'talking to girls' is all that necessary; talking to adults, at a place like Harvard Extension, may be safer. Chances are that they'll already be married.

And finally, here's the real way to have fun. After one's gotten those credits for such & such undergrad program, do a one year program at Univ of London & pick one of the easier programs. Then, for that year ... go to the West End pubs, with your mates, and drink to your heart's content. All the actual studying for exams happens in the final weeks at London Univ.

Serpentor says

They lose the experience of interacting with other kids and learning interpersonal skills.

I believe that after K-through-6, the kids have learned everything they need to know. The Jr high to high school, esp for these phony suburban cul de-sac communities, doesn't add anymore to their overall experiences. Semi-rural communities, however, are a different story.

I already know of a few parents, who took their kids out of the system after this point. None of them are screwed up and they seem to be well balanced and ready to either start college or an apprenticeship, if they go the trade way.

Rin,

Are you a parent?

If you are, please tell us your parenting experiences on this matter, what worked, what didn't, what you did that you would recommend to other parents, what you would recommend NOT to do, what you would've done different, etc.

Serpentor says

Worse then going to a geek school. All you get from home schooling are socially awkward kids thats great at the stuff you teach them. They lose the experience of interacting with other kids and learning interpersonal skills. How do they deal with bullies? Lead the soccer team to victory? Talk to girls? Go to the prom? Carry on a normal conversation with someone their own age?

I have a friend who homeschooled the kids partly because the modern curriculum at the schools taught evolution, did not read from the bible, etc. He was telling me about it when I visited him several years ago. Apparently in that community, there were at the time a critical mass of families like that who arrange "activities" together.

Bay Area Tiger Child

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/15/lisa-chan-pete-hoekstra-apologizes_n_1280271.html

"As a recent college grad who has spent time working to improve communities and empower those without a voice, this role is not in any way representative of who I am. It was absolutely a mistake on my part and one that, over time, I hope can be forgiven. I feel horrible about my participation and I am determined to resolve my actions."

Rin says

Serpentor says

They lose the experience of interacting with other kids and learning interpersonal skills.

I believe that after K-through-6, the kids have learned everything they need to know. The Jr high to high school, esp for these phony suburban cul de-sac communities, doesn't add anymore to their overall experiences. Semi-rural communities, however, are a different story.

I already know of a few parents, who took their kids out of the system after this point. None of them are screwed up and they seem to be well balanced and ready to either start college or an apprenticeship, if they go the trade way.

That is the WORST time to take your kids out of school. You are depriving your kids out of some of the most enriching experiences of their lives. Some of the longest lasting friendships start out in HS. Sure they will do "fine" in life... but they will be weirdos. Real competitive sports don't happen until HS, social interactions get more complex, class activities, social functions, etc etc.

Do you really think they'll already know how to deal with members of the opposite sex by Jr High? They'll be in a rude awakening by the time the go off to college

I don't know about your kids, but I'ms sure most kids would not want to be separated from their friends and be hanging out with their parents all day in their teenage years.

And how many couples can afford to stay home and not work living in the Bay Area?

Serpentor says

Some of the longest lasting friendships start out in HS.

My longest lasting friendships were from high schools, outside of the snob town which my parents moved into (believing all the half-truths which folks here on this board are spewing) when I was 10-11. And the majority of them were from college, and many of those folks were from more rural a/o semi-rural communities.

Do you really think they'll already know how to deal with members of the opposite sex by Jr high?

I did quite well with the opposite gender, when they weren't interested in how my parents *compared* to theirs. Thus, once again, I did well with other community/region GFs. I knew a number of 'girls' (early childhood, you know ... 4 squares, biking, playing pranks, house, etc) before I moved into the snob town and then, once I started getting out, circa age 15, in other regions, once again, not related to my particular high school per se. I was involved in martial arts, music, and I'd worked in places where I interacted with kids from other towns nearby.

Thus, I don't place value on high school, itself. It's too insular of an environment and folks there were extremely judgmental of one another due to socioeconomic factors & keeping up with the Jones, Chans, Rosenthals, Patels, & Y'mosians (I think that covers a majority of the nouveau riche ethnic enclaves there).

And how many couples can afford to stay home and not work living in the Bay Area?

No argument there.

B.A.C.A.H. says

Rin,

Are you a parent?

Sorry to disappoint, but I'm only an uncle. My niece, however, has decided to stick to her high school. Here's why ... she's active in the drama club and thus, has an area of passion. She's not in high school, just to pass time for college, like many others. She's highly focused and is able to juggle her time between extracurriculars and school work. Her mom, my sister, is stay-at-home, and works with her quite a bit on her stuff. They don't live in a snob community.

My friends/relatives, who're homeschooling, are doing it because their kids were not challenged by junior HS or freshman yr HS and these are kids, who'll most likely be either in an apprenticeship (electrician, machinist) or professional school (pharmacy, medicine, law), down the road. For them, they were not inspired by the activities found in the school system, unlike my niece, who'd found her niche there.

So while I can't vouch for everyone, I think given the way parents (who spend a fortune to live in XYZ community) think, I'm not sure if following the piped piper path of the elite townships is best for one's child to be a self-actualized adult. I find these kids who play on the 'Save Darfur' and other pseudo-social consciousness themes to be hokey and basically resume padders. This was also apparent in the whole school paper editorship competition, which once again, also appears to be a collection of phonies. And in terms of sports, really, how many captains of intramural LaCrosse do we really need?

SFace says

Sounds like a plan, but how the heck do you get from point A to point C realisticly. Homeschooling a teenager in a social world?

For now, it's all work in motion. The current plan, which my friend (former college classmate/workmate) and I are doing, is finding what his daughter loves to do. So far, it looks like sailing, martial arts, and playing an instrument are in her list of things. Let's see how this turns out during the following year.

Then, once an activity or series of such are identified, then to do them, outside of the walls of the town's junior high or high school. This is the key piece; if your kids can associate with others, of like mind/interests, in your metropolitan area (not just your town), then you have a situation where the *need to belong* is removed from having to belong to XYZ HS and then, comparing themselves to others there. This is the way to break peer pressure, otherwise, like I see in a lot of kids, they get withdrawn and then you get all that awful stuff on facebook school pages.

Realize this ... the courses at Harvard Extension are at night. Each class is dense and covers a week's worth of material. If your kids don't have an interest, during the day, it won't work out. The idea is that homeschooling should liberate one's time and energy, from the monotony of high school politicking, while providing opportunities to accumulate college credits and recommendation letters for a future vocation and/or professional school placement.

SFAce, I grew up in, and only ever lived in, Santa Clara County, went to the public K-12's here. Not inside The Fortress though.

Early in what became my career as an engineer, I was a teaching major at San Jose St. I was able to flex my work schedule as an engineer in those days (before being a parent) enough to do this.

Because I was working full time, I was a teaching major for three years in a program that most students finish in one year. I did student teaching at high schools and middle schools in various places around the county, in different demographics, including the coveted Cupertino area of The Fortress. In those three years I got to know many kids and many educators from all over the "valley". After that, worked as a substitute teacher in the county from time to time during PTO from the engineering job.

When the time came, I was an officer in PTA at my kids' school elementary school for about a decade. I chaperoned many, probably dozens (lost count a log time ago) of field trips for all grades K-6. I am still involved though not in PTA, at my youngest's high school, and I still go back to volunteer at the elementary school during their science fair most years.

This is how I know, first hand as a local kid student, a student teacher then substitute teacher in the county, as a volunteer and as a parent, and not from being a Quant (and fitting humans into "quanting"), enough to call B*llsh*t on "API"-ism".

The "API-ism" is outsourcing parenting responsibilities to a standardized test score that was intended for the state to identify where to focus and shift its resources. It (API) was never intended for Realtor®s and Quants to Gin Up people on where to over pay for housing nor for Tiger Mom to Keep Her Face in the Pecking Order of her Social Circle. It was never intended for those things; but inside the minds of certain groups, that's what the API has become.

Welcome to what has become of SIlicon Valley.

Rin says

I think given the way parents (who spend a fortune to live in XYZ community) think, I'm not sure if following the piped piper path of the elite townships is best for one's child to be a self-actualized adult. I find these kids who play on the 'Save Darfur' and other pseudo-social consciousness themes to be hokey and basically resume padders. This was also apparent in the whole school paper editorship competition, which once again, also appears to be a collection of phonies. And in terms of sports, really, how many captains of intramural LaCrosse do we really need?

Yep.

B.A.C.A.H. says

Bay Area Tiger Child

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/15/lisa-chan-pete-hoekstra-apologizes_n_1280271.html

"As a recent college grad who has spent time working to improve communities and empower those without a voice, this role is not in any way representative of who I am. It was absolutely a mistake on my part and one that, over time, I hope can be forgiven. I feel horrible about my participation and I am determined to resolve my actions."

Serpentor says

Real competitive sports don't happen until HS

If you know that your kids are NCAA material, then it's pretty obvious that you need to send them to a division 1 sports program, to maximize their chances for recruitment.

For the rest of us, however, many of us will be playing b-ball at the YMCA so why not just get your kids over there, to start with.

B.A.C.A.H. says

It (API) was never intended for Realtor®s and Quants to Gin Up people on where to over pay for housing nor for Tiger Mom to Keep Her Face in the Pecking Order of her Social Circle.

Love it... you should emphasize the "HER" social circle...

BACAH - you have a confirmation bias.

Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/IN7o2Iy89WQ

Rin says

Serpentor says

Real competitive sports don't happen until HS

If you know that your kids are NCAA material, then it's pretty obvious that you need to send them to a division 1 sports program, to maximize their chances for recruitment.

For the rest of us, however, many of us will be playing b-ball at the YMCA so why not just get your kids over there, to start with.

you are missing the whole point of doing sports.