patrick.net
An Antidote to Corporate Media
1,199,979 comments by 14,185 users - DhammaStep, ForcedTQ, HeadSet, Ironworker, NuttBoxer online now
invite response« First « Previous Comments 41 - 48 of 48 Search these comments
New Renter
2014 Oct 10, 1:19pm
Do guys generally get along with their mother-in-laws?
I don't know about generally but I get along very well with mine. To the point I look forward to her visiting and have told my wife her parents don't visit enough.
As to the situation presented by the OP I agree - for once - with softshell:
don't cosign for jackshit.
If you do the debt does not die with her.
She wants you to support her - well she'll have to earn her keep. Child care and domestic help come to mind. If she wants to travel she'll have to do it on the cheap. Get a tent a station wagon and a bottle of bear spray. If she's really a "naturopathic doctor" emphasize the "nature" part of camping.
naturopathic doctor - WTF IS that? Can someone even legally call themselves "doctor" in a professional capacity without an accredited doctorate?
My responsibility is my kids, not a 63 year old lady that has been spoon fed her whole life with her parents paying for college, giving her a large down payment, and leaving her 200k retirement money.
She's given me and my wife no money for a downpayment and wants to leave us with thousands of dollars in debt. My kids deserve a college education and as much help not to be debt slaves. She drives a new car, i drive a 2002 car i bought in grad school. She lives in a house bigger than my family of 4 (we currently rent). She spends thousands on vacations. We go to the local park or drive to different national parks. It's not about responsibility, it's about choices.
I sure as hell will not sign for anything. I just got to make my wife aware that she cannot sign for anything.
Take on the responsibility for your family if indeed that is still possible in the USA.
Vicente
2014 Oct 10, 5:38pm
I sure as hell will not sign for anything. I just got to make my wife aware that she cannot sign for anything.
Easy peasy! Tell her you know this GENIUS named Bernie, she just needs to sign over financial power of attorney to you. You will make sure her money grows faster than inflation and beats the market every single year. Tell her it's a SECRET and nobody must know. Take control of all of her money, give her a stipend to get by on, and laugh from your new sailboat.
Before you know it you'll have all of her friends begging you to take their money too. Pay her off with the inflow from her friends.
CMY
2014 Oct 10, 6:23pm
It's time (actually, well past) for her "come to Jesus" moment.
Since this will probably end in your divorce.. never, EVER relate to anyone who tries to turn children into a retirement plan.
I had no idea this sort of shit was actually going on. Good luck.
CMY
2014 Oct 10, 6:37pm
^^ to amend the above.. my 84 / 94 year-old grandparents have never asked me for that sort of help.. They'd rather die than admit defeat (they aren't close... ever)
Again, good luxk. This woman will bankrupt you.,
Oilwelldoctor
2014 Oct 10, 7:27pm
We go to the local park or drive to different national parks. It's not about responsibility, it's about choices.
Sorry Portal, maybe I wasn't very clear. You have your family. Your immediate family to tend. That is all you are responsible for; not your mother in law. Think a little family meeting is in order to explain when her money runs out, she does too. That is, if your wife agrees. You take on more than you can handle you will all lose.
Good luck
I would never go that far. Acting like that has repercussions on your whole family. In my opinion, in your story, the husband is the one that mirrors the MIL in terms of selfishness. I would want to set a good example for my kids.
My side of the family people will take themselves out before being a burden on someone else. That is why everyone is hard working and some very successful. Wife's side of the family not so much.
Don't get me wrong, what he did to her was horrible.
New Renter
2014 Oct 12, 3:50am
She spends thousands on vacations.
Well here's one solution.
Sign her and her friends up for a traditional Eskimo style Alaskan cruse for the elderly:
http://www.theinitialjourney.com/features/eskimos_01.html
Problem solved!
« First « Previous Comments 41 - 48 of 48 Search these comments
What is it with some of the baby boomers today?
Need advice.
Mother in law received a lot over her lifetime from her parents. She received a 30% down payment on a home in the 80s from her parents. She received 200k from her parents upon their deaths in 2013. She never had to give them any money.
A few days ago, MIL asks me to take a look and advise her on her finances. I say sure because I know that she is not that good with money (does not know what a Roth IRA is). She pulls out scenarios a payed financial advisor gave her, which i find fishy since she asked me to help her. The scenarios all have her retiring at 65 (she is 63) and show her going into debt at ~75 years old. She is in great health and will likely live to 90 years at least.
I tell her she has to keep on working. She tells me she can't, she has to retire. I tell her, then she has to cut expenses. She tells me she can't, she has to travel. I look down at the paper which says she will be 100k in debt at 80 and she tells me, you guys (wife and I and her sister and husband) are going to have to take care of this. Shocked, I leave the room. Needless to say I do not expect any inheritance money, but I got two kids, I cannot afford to take on her debt burden for her extravagant lifestyle. Either way, shit hits the fan in a few years if she retires and is without money.
What to do.