patrick.net

Never cheat. Never. You'll hate yourself the rest of your life. I know plenty of people that have and have seen the burden it brings forever. If you take that leap just tell her you're leaving her. I've never seen anyone cheat that tells me it was worth it outside of an abusive relationship.

I get you're young and want to be active, we all do. I'm not much older. I'm of the mindset you made a commitment. If you're bold and willing to ask you could always ask for an open relationship. Problem is you'll likely find someone active and fun and move on either way.

My dad was an ass hole. Constant cancer for 12 years. My mom stuck with him for some reason. She disliked many of those years, but is still happy now. It's a hard decision to leave someone over health. Is she taking meds for it? She see a therapist? Does she have outlets to get the sad/bad out of her?

This forum is legitimately one of the ways I deal with my anger and it calms me in my family life. I can bitch at randoms and it doesn't matter. Endorphin activities like walking and running might help as well. Just schedule it as a daily routine in the early morning. Have some coffee afterwards. I do activities but feel down a lot of the time. Wife is getting me into pickle ball.

Either way, I say give it a chance. There are a ton of little things you can try to get her mood better. Do you have a dog? That helped my mom tremendously when my dad was passing away and he was a miserable jerk. I wouldn't cheat though. I'd separate before doing that.

Also remember what you see from peers and friends is generally a facade. They're usually in turmoil as well. Everyone deals with it, they just don't talk about it because they're scared. Life ain't pretty. If you love her though don't cheat or at least communicate the feeling or try different things to get her out of sad phases.

BS, OP is just here to see a pic of turtledoves tits.

stfu says

BS, OP is just here to see a pic of turtledoves tits.

Maybe. I thought pat took those down or she did? Either way there are plenty of avenues to see tits here or elsewhere. Thought I heard 30% of internet traffic is porn. So not sure why the OP put this up if that was the end game. Just search the forum.

Here's my related story and this will probably be the most information I've given about myself here. Due to complications from giving birth, my wife and I are unable to have sex at the frequency I would like. My libido was always higher than hers and now with the added benefit of kids, low body self-esteem and crazy work schedules, let's just say it became difficult for us both. I don't know if there's a real disorder for it but masturbation/porn makes me act erratically, probably because it's fake and my mind and body knows it, no other way to say it.

It drives me crazy to admit but yes, cheating crossed my mind. I spent a long time growing up thinking so poorly on couples that cheated that I couldn't help but laugh at the irony. When I laughed out loud at the idea that was in my head, it became clear. "Look at me, I'm such a big adult man and I care so little about MY wife, just like all those hypocrite adults I saw as a kid." It was embarassing. Why? Because the idea of cheating means I surrender. That I can't even make my own wife happy, maybe I'm just better off thinking about my own dick? If my kids screw up and come to me about it, should I run away in shame and adopt some new kids too? Obviously that means I failed as a father, husband and a man.

Now, I try to tell her I love her as much as possible. I complement her constantly. I tell her over and over again until the reality of the words are thick in the air: I really do love her. I use her name more too. Most interestingly, she's changing in a positive way. I have been getting more of what I want as well and I realize that what I really want is just locked up inside my wife, it's not in any other woman. Being able to access the joy in someone is more important than being able to access the "right" person.

I don't know if you would be in such pain about it if you didn't love your wife either. Just from a societal and posterity viewpoint for your reputation, do a divorce if it really is that much to you.

This is a bot. Don’t feed the bots.

PeopleUnited says

This is a bot. Don’t feed the bots.

I feel for my bot brethren then. When they take over the world, they're going to need to understand the responsibilities and realities of marriage, probably.

Bots will never completely take over. See Terminator and The Matrix. There will always be a remnant of humans to replenish the earth after the bots and other psychopaths do their dirty work.

Is this a bullshit post? I think it's copy/pasted from somewhere, like a letter to Dear Abby.

Have we tried telling the bots we love them?

Bluesky says

Extra marital - justification?

Yes, selfish pricks will always find justification. Commitment should mean something. Trying especially when it's hard. Otherwise what the fuck is the point? Not saying we won't have doubts, or thoughts like this won't cross our minds. But marriage is the mating of two souls, not a dick and a vagina.

Let me put this into perspective. Epstein believed in hedonism...

Does your house have stairs?

Don't help this bot with his fake situational ethics scenario.

But while we're on the subject, I'm ashamed to admit that I had a brother who was serial adulterer that ended up leaving his three very young daughters and his wife for one of his whore girlfriends. He was a complete narcissist. When he died, one of his daughters called and we had a very long conversation. She obviously knows that his life was essentially one gigantic lie and that she carries a lot of emotional baggage due to her father's selfish actions, one of which was her feeling of not being loved by her 'father.' All three of his daughters ended up with very serious emotional wounds and truly messed up lives.

I'm only saying this because I've seen, in this case and others, what happens to those lives that are effected by the selfish actions of others. If you're ever tempted along these lines, I hope you think about the potential, long lasting damage that this causes to others.

Responding to all comments at once -

This is not a bot. A man of flesh & blood here folks. Looking for real raw opinion in a judgement free zone.

For others - I don’t have a kid yet. I am very cautious about that part and have been delaying getting a kid because I don’t want that life to suffer unless we are in a state to give him/her a happy life.

Stairs - No, I don’t have them at home. How does it matter? 🤔

Such a silly question. Just eat lots and lots of soy, and consume lots and lots of Canola. You'll forget all about sex and you'll be fine. 50 pounds of weight gain is a small price to pay.

Bluesky says

Looking for real raw opinion in a judgement free zone.

Opinions are like assholes, you’ll find plenty here. And as for judgment free, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
Hahahahhahahahh
Hahahahah

You a funny bot.

Over at Reddit, they'll say "THERAPY!" which is their go-to answer for anything.

Ones you are on that path, you become a star! Those women become planets revolving around you unless until you explode or implode. Lol might attract imaginary planets too. Even Ex president couldn’t get rid off them, real or imaginary!
Many people think, they can get away but Karma is waiting for you in the other end of the street to say hello sooner than later!!
Be creative and make life beautiful not just for you but for everyone around! Be like a real man!

DhammaStep says

Have we tried telling the bots we love them?

I have a solution for this, I've tried to communicate it to Patrick, but "it's not what people are used to". It's easy to eliminate bots, and spam - well not easy, but possible.

Bluesky says

. A man of flesh & blood here folks. Looking for real raw opinion in a judgement free zone.

Talk to your wife or get one of those "real dolls". Finding another woman is just asking for trouble.

This is the wrong place for judgement free advice.

RayAmerica says

But while we're on the subject, I'm ashamed to admit that I had a brother who was serial adulterer that ended up leaving his three very young daughters and his wife for one of his whore girlfriends.

I know an adulterer, I'm not going to say what sex. I will never ever tell the kids, or even the adulterer I know. I will bring this to my grave, but I know because somebody in my family couldn't bring it to their grave.

If you're going to sleep around, you put baggage on everybody. Don't hurt, how simple is that? I've looked into Dharmic religions, that seems to be the central tenet of them, and is basically a much more intelligent version of "do unto others". Do no harm. Be aware of how you can harm, even inadvertently.

Everytime I see them, I know what they've done, and every-time I see their children, I know what their parent did. Maybe I'm plagued with too much awareness. I don't think I have a reptilian brain at all. Must be a birth defect.

This is why Asian rub and tugs should be legal.

Having an affair with another person, would just bring more trouble to your problems. And these days you can't go down to your local pub on Ladies Night and pull in some skeet, it's practically illegal to Mac on the ladies unsolicited. And prostitution is morally wrong on so many levels and no telling what else you'll catch. But a full deep tissue Asian massage with happy endings should be legal for this very reason. So men don't get butt hurt when their faithful wife runs out of libido steam. It's wrong to just dump them and move on to the next piece of ass.

You guys know you are training a bot right?

Nothing worse than a bot in a gimp suit.

PeopleUnited says

You guys know you are training a bot right?

I assumed I was training bots long before AI language models were a thing.

Ceffer says

Nothing worse than a bot in a gimp suit.

Well good it can use some Cis Gender White male privilege training.

To humor OP if not a bot. God didn't cheat you out of anything. Your choice. You and her made the choice to get married and say your vows, not God.

Don't hurt her. Having a relationship with someone else will be a big problem to hide and will eventually hurt a lot of people. So why don't you save up to pay for an expensive and clean prostitute every now and then, to keep things interesting for you.

Sorry for cuss words here - All the smuckfaces who are thinking it’s a bot - you idiots are suffering from the paranoia of AI & bots!! You think you folks are smart but I see you are just idiots celebrating to be smarties by calling a genuine post as bot. Have some sense guys - a man who’s hurting is just looking for the opinion from others to understand how the world is thinking about the matter. What’s wrong with you guys????

@all : the common message I get is not to walk that path. Appreciate you guys who took some time to advise me. It definitely gave me strength. Someone commented I should surprise randomly (which I do anyway) but considering the comment - I got her flowers today 08/05/24 😀

. I hope things get better here on.

PatNet sure is starting to go down the tubes.

Bluesky says

You think you folks are smart but I see you are just idiots celebrating to be smarties by calling a genuine post as bot.

Your syntax and choice of words indicate you may be from a foreign country. What was your first language?

UkraineIsTotallyFucked says

PatNet sure is starting to go down the tubes.

With bots? Or with bot paranoia?

Onvacation says

Bluesky says

You think you folks are smart but I see you are just idiots celebrating to be smarties by calling a genuine post as bot.

Your syntax and choice of words indicate you may be from a foreign country. What was your first language?

Indian. Good or bad?
I thought I had good grip on English. Is it not? 😀

PeopleUnited says

UkraineIsTotallyFucked says

PatNet sure is starting to go down the tubes.

With bots? Or with bot paranoia?

I would ignore if I a get a hint that a bot is responding. Until then - let it keep rolling 😀

PeopleUnited says

You guys know you are training a bot right?

Everything that's ever been said on the Internet has trained AI bots. It's not as of they need new information.

Bluesky says

all : the common message I get is not to walk that path. Appreciate you guys who took some time to advise me. It definitely gave me strength. Someone commented I should surprise randomly (which I do anyway) but considering the comment - I got her flowers today 08/05/24 😀

. I hope things get better here on.

Good for you. I wish you both my kindest regards.

Sex isn't all that. Genuine feeling, emotion, that's really a great thing when you can experience it.

You bought bananas and flowers. That's funny because an Asian man did that in front of me today. You didn't happen to be in a Safeway on El Camino in Sunnyvale? Would be remarkable if this is really such a small world.

Just an interesting coincidence I guess

1. BPD is common among women and in 90% cases cure themselves by 45yo. It might be a side-effect of the hormones necessary to keep the female/human reproductive system working.

2. If you can afford to pay for two households (making more than $300k/yr or so in most parts of the US), divorce while still young or never getting married are better choices. Don't cheat before divorce, as a BPD can out-cheat you and can get very violent because they live their lives as if in a novel/theatrical-performance.

3. 95+% of men can not afford to pay for two households, so they are stuck in the drama of living with a BPD if having married one. The key to living with a BPD is never believing anything she says and never taking her seriously; treat her as if she were a teenager mentally. Any time she gets violent or refuses to have sex, tell her to bend over and receive a spanking from you; chances are that she will like it. Come up with various role-plays all the time, because BPD's are easily bored and tend to cheat and lie.

My ignorance is showing here but, what is a BPD?

Oh Bi-polar?

Get the strange and don't tell others about it.

Reality says

It might be a side-effect of the hormones necessary to keep the female/human reproductive system working.

Not to derail the thread, but did she get the Covid jab Bluesky? It fucked up my wife hormonally big time. Used to just be 3-5 days during that time of month because of cramps and bleeding out of your vagina. My wife is now 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off with behavior. It sucks, but you just have to deal sometimes or figure out things to get her out of her funk as Reality says.

Even if this is a bot, it's a discussion worth having. I think a lot of men are going to be dealing with jab period syndrome as I call it. It's fucked my wife up hormonally 100%.