patrick.net

"She is totally over values owning a home."

If it was me.. I make a 180 degree turn and ....Walk away!

No matter what, women like this are stone cold in opinion regarding homes.

The Original Bankster says

I think the best thing she has gonig is that she is very, very beautiful.
I know they type… they always keep one or two douchebags on the line to be emotional dumping ground, and they go around worrying about them and trying to fix their lives.
Do you know if she has anyone around like that?

I know the type too,
she's looking for the "Dont worry, baby. I'll take care of it" guy.

I think suggestion that she walk away from her house is borderline rude. In her eyes it even makes you sound a little bit jealous too especially since you happen to be a renter.
If you owned a house you might have more authority there.
If I were to marry a woman like that, I'd probably front the cash and make the house right side up in a 30 yr fixed loan in exchange for putting my name on the title.

Telling her to walk away from her house is just bad advice, sorry.

toothfairy says

The Original Bankster says

I think the best thing she has gonig is that she is very, very beautiful.
I know they type… they always keep one or two douchebags on the line to be emotional dumping ground, and they go around worrying about them and trying to fix their lives.
Do you know if she has anyone around like that?

I know the type too,
she’s looking for the “Dont worry, baby. I’ll take care of it” guy.
I think suggestion that she walk away from her house is borderline rude. In her eyes it even makes you sound a little bit jealous too especially since you happen to be a renter.
If you owned a house you might have more authority there.
If I were to marry a woman like that, I’d probably front the cash and make the house right side up in a 30 yr fixed loan in exchange for putting my name on the title.
Telling her to walk away from her house is just bad advice, sorry.

I always appreciate the comments. I thought it might be useful for me to say that she has absolutely no interest in getting married or combining finances with someone else. She isn't looking for a man to save her. She doesn't see her situation as a crisis. She isn't looking for someone to come in and save her. She doesn't think she needs to walk away (nor do I think she would select that option). She has a realestate agent who is telling her that she can sell her house of a ridiculous price, so she is "considering" refinancing or selling. If you don't see the problem, why would you walk away?

I was somewhat sadly saying that the only way I could see her getting herself into a different situation would be if she married someone with more financial savy. I guess she could win the lottery, but she doesn't play the lottery. My concern is that I see her best move right now to rent and save like mad. THe problem, in my opinion, is that she doesn't see herself in a terrible mess. Since she doesn't see a crisis, she isn't going to take the aggressive actions that I see as required. I think she sees herself as needing to make some very small changes. My fear is that it isn't nearly enough.

I am a renter. I am definitely not jealous of people of have dug themselves into those kinds of holes. Having a house that didn't destroy me (or my friends) would be great. Where I am a bit "jealous" is of people who live in places where the housing market is less insane than the Bay Area. It would be nice to buy a nice house for less than 300K. THat just isn't where I live. One outcome for me is to save here for another 10 years and then leave and pay cash. Hopefully the dollar will still have some value by then.

If total denial makes her happy, so be it. She is an adult and should make her own financial decisions. Prices are still not going down as it should because of people like her who keeps throwing money into the black hole.

I can see her point about wanting a house, we've been taught that this is the way to live in the US since we were born. She doesn't think that she has a problem - and who's to say that she does? It's only a problem for other people.

Maybe she will find the man of her dreams. Maybe she'll win the lotto. Maybe she'll fly to the moon. Why mess with her dream? The only thing guaranteed by trying to bring her to your reality is losing a friend.

My sister was a glowing example of the bubble mentality. She could never have afforded the house on her income in the first place, but she didn't let that deter her. She refi'd at least five times, I lost count. Each time, after the pre-pay penalty, fees and credit card payoff, she had nothing left. So she charged on the credit cards to offset the budget deficit from the higher payments - even interest only teaser rates are higher each time you do that... Every time she went to refi, I told her she was crazy and advised her not to. She's now renting a room, having lost everything she owns except what fits in storage.

She still views herself as a victim of the recession. Go figure.

pw says

We are long time friends.

Hmm,
friends don't gossip about friends behind their backs. Especially, not on the internet.

@elliemae,

Sorry to hear that about your sister. At least you tried to warn her to some degree...

elliemae says

your reality is losing a friend.

Is that the reality of "sharing" so much about the "friend" on the internet?

sybrib says

elliemae says

your reality is losing a friend.

Is that the reality of “sharing” so much about the “friend” on the internet?

Anyone reading this wouldn't realize it was about them. Sometimes people want to discuss something and throw it out to the interwebs because it's safer than mentioning it to someone who may actually know her. Don't be so hard on pw...

Ha! I said "hard-on!"

(ellie is having a goofy night; let's blame it on a glass of wine and not on the stupid farm animals who feel the need to fight loud enough that the neighbors just came and got me... I don't know what it is that causes them to fight only when the temp is in the 20's, but I'm getting mighty tired of it).

You might be surprised. A coworker identified me by some stuff I wrote on here. It happened before on the stock message board of Yahoo.
I didn't care, no harm done, but then I was not gossiping about others.

sybrib says

You might be surprised. A coworked identified me by some stuff I wrote on here. It happened before on the stock message board of Yahoo.
I didn’t care, no harm done, but then I was not gossiping about others.

I've been in line at the grocery store in town (20 miles from my house is the biggest town around); some women were speculating who "elliemae" might be. I could barely suppress my laughter. But I've not been "outed" yet. I guess you could say that elliemae is still in the barn. hahaha. I am a bit worried if the book sells a chunk and I get outed - I'd be fired in a heartbeat. Nursing homes don't like it when people know their rights & options. Hopefully it will be something I'll have to deal with - I'd love to reach many people with the info.

You do have a point about sharing info about the friend - especially when the post can be viewed as judgemental.

@pw

Any updates on this story? Did she find any guy with a house yet? Lol!