patrick.net

Just in time for "Fallujah, Part II: wounded warriors take revenge."

As if breaking your toes, slashing your shins and taking up all the parking real estate wasn't enough, now they want to singe your eyebrows off.

Hey man, need a light? EEEEYOW!!

The How Berkeley Can You Be Parade went down hill fast once they banned open flames.
Another entry featured a flame thrower affixed to a chair on a hydraulic lift, "until the Fire Department freaked out," Solomon said.

This is how AF should be planning his retirement.

The 500 pound WalMart scooter queens can now clear a path to their favorite blue label special deals.

Ceffer says

The 500 pound WalMart scooter queens can now clear a path to their favorite blue label special deals.

...while cooking a nutritious dinner at the same time. All it needs is a 10' skewer on the front, so that the handicapped can savor equal access to Walmart's imminent cannibal anarchy.

Walmart: rolling back prices (and heads!) to 1459, just in time for Valentine's Day!

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

They can feature dueling cripples at monster truck rallies' half-time ceremonies.

Cripple fight?

CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!

That's a mighty fine succulent to be flambe'-ing all willy-nilly.

Asshole!

Still needs an additional Gatling gun added, for extra protection.

zzyzzx says

Still needs an additional Gatling gun added, for extra protection.

True, you can never be too safe.

curious2 says

zzyzzx says

Still needs an additional Gatling gun added, for extra protection.

True, you can never be too safe.

And a Hyabusa engine. The gasoline can also feed the flamethrower.

You can clear a lot of snow with that thing. Just make sure the neighbors don't rat you out to the cops.

Dan8267 says

You can clear a lot of snow with that thing. Just make sure the neighbors don't rat you out to the cops.

Would you rat on a neighbor with a flamethrower? Really?