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Breeding the perfect CNBC reporter


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2006 Sep 14, 3:57am   29,210 views  131 comments

by astrid   ➕follow (0)   💰tip   ignore  

Maria!

The last post is getting a bit unwieldy. Let's continue the utopia and eugenics discussions here.

If you need a starter, here it is - pick four couples for breeding the perfect CNBC reporter.

The link below will take you to CNBC's page for their on air personalities (thank you to skibum):

http://moneycentral.msn.com/Content/CNBCTV/AnchorsAndReporters/Index.asp

Disclaimer: This post is a parody about the CNBC and its on air personalities. The information contained in the post is offered in the spirit of speculative fun and is not intended as libel or slander on CNBC or its on air personalities.

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18   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 7:24am  

Anna Nicole Smith just gave birth somewhere in the Caribbeans. Sad story. Her 20 yr old son died there while visiting Smith and his new born half sister.

20   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 7:43am  

Coulter looks like a fairly talented tranny.

For true barf-worthiness, you have to look to Katherine Harris (R-FL).

21   Glen   2006 Sep 14, 7:44am  

My husband is in to wholesome looking blondes. His crush as a kid was Olivia Newton-John. When we met, all the posters in his place were of blondes.

Maybe Laurie Dhue would fit the bill:

http://www.gogomag.com/ld/

Personally, I just don't get the blonde thing. Most of the tv cable blondes just don't seem that bright. The reason why Maria B is every guy's fantasy is that she is: (a) attractive; (b) smart; and (c) seems like a down to earth good person. In short, she is a woman of substance. Most female cable anchors seem like prissy debutantes or ditzy doofuses.

22   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 7:46am  

SFWoman,

Left of center nowadays means anyone who doesn't think George W. Bush is doing God's work. There are capitalist democrats and libertarian democrats, so party lines certainly don't mean much anymore.

23   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 7:50am  

Glen,

That woman has one hell of a deer in headlight stare to her. Is that common for FoxNews blondes?

I recall seeing a couple highly attractive Al Jazeera anchor/reporters (from the movie Control Room). Stephen Colbert often brings up Soledad O'Brien. Would a dark hair Mediterrean look be something to breed for?

24   speedingpullet   2006 Sep 14, 8:00am  

If you're talikng about the woman in the thread heading photo..she's cool!

She's pretty without being outrageously pretty (not that I really care, being more of a Anderson Cooper/Jon Stewart look-type liker - ie, blokes), seems relatively intellgent, and has a barely suppressed smirk every time she interviews anyone from the NAR.

What's not to like?

totally OT: first rain the SF Valley since April this morning....

25   Glen   2006 Sep 14, 8:04am  

That woman has one hell of a deer in headlight stare to her. Is that common for FoxNews blondes?

Sadly, yes.

I recall seeing a couple highly attractive Al Jazeera anchor/reporters (from the movie Control Room). Stephen Colbert often brings up Soledad O’Brien. Would a dark hair Mediterrean look be something to breed for?

Absolutely. The ideal female anchor needs to be cosmopolitan and worldly. She would ideally have dark hair and eyes evoking a part of the world outside the anglo-american corridor. She could be Mediterranean, Middle-Eastern or Indian (british accent optional). It is even better if you can't tell (leaves something to the imagination). In a perfect world, she would be all of these things. Also good if she has a world-class education with a background in finance or econ.

27   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 8:13am  

Robert Coté Says:

Robert Reich and Madeline Albright.

Are you trying to breed a colony of trolls?

28   Glen   2006 Sep 14, 8:19am  

If Queen Rania is available, she can have the job. I have always been a big fan. Queen Noor doesn't do much for me.

Maybe Rania could have a kid with George Soros or Robert Rubin.

29   Randy H   2006 Sep 14, 8:21am  

I think many of the CNBC women (and men for that fact) have MBAs from top schools and experience on the Street. I know at least the ones I watch in the AM hours have mentioned they were things like sell-side associate, etc. at GS.

30   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 8:22am  

To make definitive rankings yourselves, you can check out the CNBC reporters here:

http://moneycentral.msn.com/Content/CNBCTV/AnchorsAndReporters/Index.asp

and judge for yourselves. Maria and Erin Burnett are the top 2 in my book. I don't think the lowly correspondents are listed here. There was one covering NYC's fashion week yesterday who was very easy on the eyes.

31   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 8:25am  

"The Center has moved so far left these last two generations people seem to have forgotten some things."

Well, the direct election of senators was pretty much the last nail in states' rights's coffin. States' rights was the big issue of the 19th century, but Civil War and reconstruction pretty much resolved the discussion in favor of Federal hegemony. (I should say that personally, I prefer more state autonomy to experiment and do their own thing)

I don't see the center moving left in the last 50 years. If you mean conservative in the classical sense (as in adhering staunchly to the old and inaction), yeah, we don't oppress blacks and Latinos and women as much anymore. But the main thrust of the American political movement of the last 20 years have been reactionary.

32   speedingpullet   2006 Sep 14, 8:26am  

D'OH!

How could I forget CNN's delicious Ali Velshi in the 'tasty geezers for birds' section!

Much much better than Lou Dobbs. His face reminds me far too much of a squished-up Hot Cross Bun.

33   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 8:28am  

speedingpullet Says:

Much much better than Lou Dobbs. His face reminds me far too much of a squished-up Hot Cross Bun.

More like an anemic turtle.

34   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 8:30am  

Finance is still male dominated. There's little active effort to find eye candy for female CNBC viewers.

35   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 8:33am  

You guys have grossly underrated Madeline Albright's genes. She was very attractive when she was young.

SQT,

Also, would the Gore girls be your husband's type? (just desperately trying to wipe memory of that FauxNews anchor)

36   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 8:34am  

RC,
Trolls in Middle Earth are financially savvy, stalwart, strong in character, and, like your pair, short, hairy, and trollish-looking. Thought it fit as well.

37   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 8:35am  

"Trolls in Middle Earth are financially savvy, stalwart, strong in character"

You're thinking of dwarves. Trolls were big and stupid in Middle Earth.

38   Glen   2006 Sep 14, 8:39am  

Astrid,

True. There is no eye candy for women on CNBC. Ted David? Ron Insana? Steve Liesman? Mark Haines?

Yikes. No wonder women don't watch CNBC as much as men.

39   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 8:42am  

astrid,
You're right -my bad.

40   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 8:47am  

"We true conservatives established National Parks, passed equal rights, actively seek out talent and justly reward effort without regard to skin or gender."

Huh? Those were the workings of Progressives. A classical conservative would be Edmund Burke. Your definition just muddies the confusing left/right divide even further.

On the other hand, no shame in admitting you are a Progressive.

41   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 8:50am  

"Ted David? Ron Insana? Steve Liesman? Mark Haines?"

Actually, I wouldn't mind a lunch date with any of them. (But then, I always found well groomed, balding, middle aged men to be quite attractive)

42   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 8:56am  

skibum,

It's an easy mistake to make. I'm just such a nerd!

Robert Reich is really really tiny. You don't realize it in photos or on TV, but in person he really looks to be the size of Mini-me.

43   marinite   2006 Sep 14, 8:59am  

William Shatner and David Hasselhoff

44   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 9:00am  

Pamela Anderson's breast implants.

45   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 9:02am  

astrid Says:

Robert Reich is really really tiny. You don’t realize it in photos or on TV, but in person he really looks to be the size of Mini-me.

Speaking of mixing up conservative vs. liberal definitions, it's amusing to watch CNBC when they have Reich on as a talking head. Usually he's the token "left winger" beating post for Kudlow and his goons. The funniest thing is, these days, he's spouting stuff that is very fiscally conservative compared to the idiots Kudlow and co. Last I saw him, it was all about the economic outlook, and how growth is great, we should all be happy about the ongoing economic expansion, etc. while Reich was the lone wolf trying to spit out warnings about the horrendous negative savings rate, the housing ATM debacle, and other stuff that was, frankly, very fiscally conservative.

46   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 9:05am  

I think there's general consensus that Anderson Cooper is gay, so probably good not to be attracted to him.

Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Ed Helms and Jason Jones all have great eye appeal and very soothing voices. (Any wonder why FauxNews is so popular compared to "real" news?)

47   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 9:08am  

SQT,

The Gore girls are natural blondes and they do look a bit like Heather Locklear.

I'd say Karenna Gore Schiff kinda looks like a relatively (relative to Claudia Schiffer) more homely Claudia Schiffer.

48   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 9:09am  

oops,

- FauxNews
+ fake news

49   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 9:10am  

Stone Phillips is appropriately named. That guy seems to struggle to put together 2 coherent thoughts in a row every time he speaks. He's also pretty darn stiff. If you're talking network news folks, does anyone really like Katie Couric or find her attractive? That smirk she always has makes me want to smack her.

50   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 9:12am  

http://www.benengebreth.org/housingtracker/

SJ and SF inventory back up to near-peak levels.

Interestingly, SD and Phoenix *asking* prices are over 10% negative YoY according to this site.

51   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 9:14am  

Oh, and Boston is down 15.9% in asking price from last year. A sign of where the BA is headed?

52   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 9:14am  

"If you’re talking network news folks, does anyone really like Katie Couric or find her attractive?"

She creeps me out. She's like an older version of Rachel Ray (shudder).

53   requiem   2006 Sep 14, 9:14am  

RC:

IIRC, conservative a few decades back was most definitely against equal rights. To be extremely snippy; things change, so going purely be definition, each generation of conservatives will have to find a new position to be fighting a losing battle for.

The position of (R) vs. (D) during the Civil War has also flipped, in terms of the liberal vs. conservative nature, which makes it harder to compare. But, if we look back to that time, we find things like the Fugitive Slave Act that could be considered a violation of state's rights.

I don't mind progressivism, but I think both sides have taken things to the extreme. The right has found that catering to religion and the fearful gets more votes than fiscal discipline, and so they careen in a whole new direction. The left is still struggling to get in gear; a growing dependence on unions and a poor PR arm has left them unable to make necessary policy changes and unable to announce them if it could.

WRT to JFK: Why the larger military? A major argument for taxes is the creation of positive externalities. (e.g. the Eisenhower interstate system.) The military does not directly provide these, and making it more massive than it already is provides no added value. Infrastructure provides value; education provides at least as much value as the military, and on an ongoing basis. Yes, I know about the technology that comes from military research. I don't want that to go, but I seem to remember that it was a Republican president that coined the term "military-industrial complex". Currently, the amount spent on the poor is insignificant compared to the amount pouring into defense and its dependent industries. If you want to reduce waste, your time is best spent there instead of chasing after Reagan's welfare queen red-herring.

54   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 9:16am  

John Kerry's daughters are handsome, as in "slightly less mannish than Ann Coulter but of a similar build" handsome. They are allegedly very smart.

55   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 9:17am  

astrid Says:

She creeps me out. She’s like an older version of Rachel Ray (shudder).

Don't get me started on Rachel Ray - she is actually more annoying than Couric. I prefer Giada DeLaurentis. But who wouldn't? Although, some might say that's like preferring Ginger to Maryann.

56   skibum   2006 Sep 14, 9:19am  

Giada is probably doing fine with her family money alone. I always get the feeling she does the cooking show thing just for fun.

57   astrid   2006 Sep 14, 9:19am  

Giada is hot, though slightly scary looking from some angles. She's also about 99% less annoying than Rachel Ray. Her recipes are also better. And dispite Rachel Ray's alleged down to earthness, I find Giada to be much more grounded and real.

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