patrick.net

50% divorce rate is a 50% non-divorce rate.
The Glass is Half-full, too.

Sex always changes "relationships", not necessarily for the better. Compartmentalizing is just a choice.

Bitchy, withholding wife who always has in the back of her mind how she could vivisect you in court or murder you for life insurance, or series of temporarily motivated hookers fueled by a lump sum?

Love, devotion and family values are great, they just aren't that predictable or stable over time. That fantasy is just as unreal as the hooker fantasy.

In California, the divorce rate is 60 percent, and the initiators are most frequently the women.

Everything's a choice.

Objectifying others is a choice.

Being cynical is a choice.

So is being humble.

Acting on one's values to choose is a choice, as are the values themselves.

B.A.C.A.H. says

Being cynical is a choice.

I think some Orwellian mastermind has re-programmed people to change the definition of the word cynical. Here is the correct definition:

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynicism_%28contemporary%29

"Cynicism is an attitude or state of mind characterized by a general distrust of others' motives.[1]"

In other words, becoming cynical is not a choice, but a result of having experienced the ways of the world.

Example: I have a very cynical view of the Real Estate marketplace, and some of its actors.

Yep.

Me too, I choose to about the ®ealtors.

Not the entire other gender though.

B.A.C.A.H. says

Not the entire other gender though

Nothing wrong in gender-Mother Theresa was a woman and Hitler was a man. But the laws let you do that-the laws need change. When I was having fun, I slept with anything that spread its legs-not sure why one has to pay for that.

But now I want to settle down, I looked at several other things-first among them -do I want this woman to be the mother of my children and are hey comfortable with money. I m no 1%, but pretty well off and have a decent amount of savings and will get a nice inheritance. Funny when you are looking for that-you find those kind of women. Plenty of women who are confident, poised, mature and family oriented too- but the laws need to change. Probably why in many cultures, they had arranged marraiges-they looked at families, equal wealth/status/power etc..

CIC ignores reality when you consider that 97% of alimony goes from men to women and 80% of child custody goes to women and so do the child support payments. Ignore reality at your own peril. Some like Rin might have choosen an alternative path-which is fine-nothing wrong in that-this is a free country. Accepting reality and acting according to it is not cycnical or being bitter-It is just accepting reality in the raw. Just as a woman in Saudi, you wouldn't dare to walk alone in the streets in a mini.

if you have no assets and did not build anything, they you can live in an idealistic cloud-or if the spouse makes more than you-man or woman-then the current system is great.

Ceffer says

I have an older friend in a 55 and older community and he talks a lot about the goings on. All the cougar stuff is completely fake. Most women past menopause would just as soon have their female parts scooped out and done with. A lot of them are incapable of actually living with anybody else, and the men are too shell shocked and burned out from the divorce and relationship wars to consider long term relationships.

The men and women play the same games as younger, though. Some of them will have casual hookups once in awhile, but the women are still generally oriented to the men who have enough money to make them comfortable. Maybe one in five or six of the women are sweet and nice enough to really consider having a relationship with.

Ceffer, I'm developing a man crush on you.

You've proven that bozos like Ironman are little more than society's little *bitches*, kowtowing to the orders of mainstream society and the demands of feminazis around them.

I wish there was a way that a bunch of us could get together ... hang out in Amsterdam, bang hoes, play backgammon/chess/blackjack/poker, listen to classic rock, drink [ Jack Daniels/Gin/Tequila/etc ], and have a party for the rest of our lives.

I dunno guys.

In my self-selected circle of friends, which at my age is quite wide now, I only know two who're divorced. Both were married young.

One is my friend, the other my partner's friend.

I typed the details of both failed marriages but then realized it's too gossipy about friends so I deleted it. But, I'll just say this, both of these persons got married for the kinds of reasons you guys have shared, which are the wrong reasons in my view.

The rest are all still with their spouses, yes, some may be miserable but mostly not. I even count among them, a handful of same gender partnerships.

I think to some extent your attitudes on this topic are a reflection of the things you place higher value on like trophy, glamour, money. I'd be cynical too if I judged other potential partners to be like minded.

On The Other Hand...

We Choose our friends, but not our relatives.

More than half of my cousins have divorced. Some of it was ugly, too.

Hey Mr Starks/Ironman, what do you have to say to Ceffer? According to you, I'm the one who's delusional; how come others are concurring with me?

B.A.C.A.H. says

More than half of my cousins have divorced.

And what about BACAH's observations here?

So how come I'm not the only one, who's not living in reality? What about the others on this forum? I guess your sense of optimism is not that contagious.

Ceffer says

All the cougar stuff is completely fake. Most women past menopause would just as soon have their female parts scooped out and done with. A lot of them are incapable of actually living with anybody else, and the men are too shell shocked and burned out from the divorce and relationship wars to consider long term relationships.

The men and women play the same games as younger, though. Some of them will have casual hookups once in awhile, but the women are still generally oriented to the men who have enough money to make them comfortable. Maybe one in five or six of the women are sweet and nice enough to really consider having a relationship with.

A lot of cougars aren't past menopause yet, or are just at the cusp. They can still look quite attractive if they kept in shape, often better than a lot of their younger peers. And they often still have a very healthy sex drive and can be generally enjoyable. The problem is a different one. Most men younger than them, their age and even slightly older are looking for fertile women. You simply bond in a totally different way with somebody you have a family with. And most cougars don't have anything to offer in that aspect and so these relationships don't last. Even if they theoretically could become pregnant, it is difficult, may need quite some money to jumpstart it, and you have to deal with a high-risk pregnancy. So if they are looking for sex and a good time/companionship for a while, they can be quite happy, but those hoping for a long-lasting or lifelong relationship will be disappointed and may become bitter. These are simply nature's rules.

lostand confused says

CIC ignores reality

He has to. He has a micropenis and this is what he looks like.

Rin says

You've proven that bozos like Ironman are little more than society's little *bitches*, kowtowing to the orders of mainstream society and the demands of feminazis around them.

There is a term for people like CIC.

www.youtube.com/embed/jzuC48mfJTQ

Dan8267 says

Rin says

You've proven that bozos like Ironman are little more than society's little *bitches*, kowtowing to the orders of mainstream society and the demands of feminazis around them.

There is a term for people like CIC.

www.youtube.com/embed/jzuC48mfJTQ

Dan, that was a great video!

We need to party! A bunch of us, starting with you, Ceffer, lostand confused, and myself could get together ... hang out in Amsterdam, bang hoes, play backgammon/chess/blackjack/poker, toss a football, listen to classic rock, drink [ Jack Daniels/Gin/Tequila/etc ], and have a blast!

The manginas can have Uncle Sam, I'm done with the nonsense here.

Dan8267 says

He has to. He has a micropenis and this is what he looks like.

Be fair, a lot of men shrivel up, when it's 0 degrees outside. Perhaps CIC lives in northern Minnesota?

Rin says

A bunch of us, starting with you, Ceffer, lostand confused, and myself could get together ... hang out in Amsterdam, bang hoes,

I don't think I'd be willing to bang a prostitute. The fantasy is Julia Roberts, but from what I've seen on local news coverage in every city I've ever lived in, prostitutes are pretty disgusting. Maybe it's different in Europe, but in America, the prostitues on the news always look like

Besides, sex is dirt cheap. And if you're an American in many European countries, you're the cream of the crop. Even a modest income in America makes you rich in Ukraine, and Ukrainian women look like

Rin says

Be fair, a lot of men shrivel up, when it's 0 degrees outside. Perhaps CIC lives in northern Minnesota?

He lives in a New Jersey Turnpike restroom stop where he services glory holes to buy the meth that feeds his delusions. I just don't which exit.

Rin says

Be fair, a lot of men shrivel up, when it's 0 degrees outside. Perhaps CIC lives in northern Minnesota?

Speaking of which...www.youtube.com/embed/8DoARSlv-HU

Only fools are homophobic, and most of them are closeted self-hating gays.

You do realize that calling a straight man gay is like calling a white man a nigger. Not only is it ineffective as there is nothing wrong with being gay or black, but also it says a lot more about who you are as a person than the one you are trying to insult. Specifically, it says that you are a stupid and morally bankrupt bigot, which would explain why you have such morally reprehensible and foolish political stances. Of course, this is a problem inherent to conservative culture and the Republican Party.

Rin says

A bunch of us, starting with you, Ceffer, lostand confused, and myself could get together ... hang out in Amsterdam, bang hoes,

I have a bunch of married co-workers who already do that and keep inviting me. I decline-I just don't feel right hanging out with married men with children doing that. But they are staying for the kids-never will get to see them with a divorce-so just doing what they can to tolerate it I suppose . One says his aim is to spend as much money on whores, as he is sure to divorce hi wife when the kids are grown and so instead of giving alimony to his wife-he wants to spend it all!! That twat does not have a job, does not cook or clean -he travels for his job-the Monday to Thursday thingie and hires someone to do that and hires someone to meet his needs too!

I am just surprised at the number of married men who do this-I guess the modern feminazi laws that ensure men lose no matter what pushes them into despair. Almost everybody advises me against marriage/kids. I am perplexed though at the sheer number. Now there are some good/happy couples too-but not sure what is going on today.

lostand confused says

I am just surprised at the number of married men who do this-I guess the modern feminazi laws that ensure men lose no matter what pushes them into despair. Almost everybody advises me against marriage/kids.

And then ppl like Ironman say that it's only me with these ideas. Wow, I guess I'm really not in tuned with reality after all.

Ironman says

Did it every occur to you people that maybe the GUY is to blame, and he has shitty skills picking women. Do these women do a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and completely change after marriage, or maybe the symptoms were ALWAYS there, but the idiot was thinking with the wrong head and missed all the signs....

That is blaming the vcitim mentality. Your wife is abusive-so it is your fault. People change, many right after marriage and kids.Today's laws mandate that you give half-even if your wife is a part time hooker and had 5 babies with 5 different men. She can call 911 and report you for domestic abuse or any crap and even if no proof, can easily get a restraining order and face absolutely no consequences. The extent of this anti man bigotry is amazing. My mom passed out and hit her head slightly against the fridge. I took her to the hospital to scan and the nutters there kept her alone and inquired as to weather she was abused etc and then followed up with her a month later. Apparently it is part of their policy.

Everybody makes mistakes, but with marriage the gubmnt traps you and gives the women tremendous power through the false claims industry. So in an emotional burst for example back then a woman might have left and stayed a few days with the folks to cool off-now she is likely to call 911 and scream all abuse-it has happened to 2 people I know. the wives retracted both times, but the damage was done.

All I am saying is the laws need to change-in an equal world-women should be responsible for their own lives and expected to stand on their own feet and the expectation is that they plan for it. You can't have all the benefits of equality and none of the responsibilities. They want to be soldiers/police/presidents-then they should be expected to stand on their own two feet in life and get rid of the alimony/palimony/stupidmony industry. if you want something , then a prenup should have been discussed-else-just go your separate ways-you are an equal.

Western culture undervalues masculinity, Muslim culture overvalues masculinity Asian culture gets it just right.

That being said, men in the US are treated like shit.

epitaph says

That being said, men in the US are treated like shit.

Wait, now epitaph, according to Ironman, it was only me. But then, Ceffer, lostand confused, Dan, and others are jumping in and supporting my ideas. What's gone wrong?

Wasn't Tony Starks the only true arbitrator of reality?

Ironman says

There you go, remember that. Make sure the next woman you meet signs a prenup, then you'll be totally protected, since you seem to have a problem sorting out the good women from the bad ones.

I know you make fun of people and never deal with issues and love to troll. But if you cared to read my responses, you would know I am talking about people that I see at work and around who have been stuck. Not me. I am guessing you will be equally comfortable trolling both sides of the issues to get your rocks off-let me guess-salesman??!! LOL!!
people make mistakes and should be allowed to move on. it is just like a job-you may have a great worker and then he/she does not stay good-you fire them-not maintain the worker in the lifestyle he/she was used to for life.

. Women have fought for the right to be an equal.be an equal-I respect women who have dignity and strive hard to maintain home and work-plenty of them. But the laws need to be changed. If say there is a law saying that if you work for 10 years, you get to be maintained in the lifestyle for life- at say year 11 or20 the worker may lose motivation-if the company is forced to maintain him for life by law-weather he contributes or not-does not show up to work . they will do whatever they want -it is human nature-the laws are the issue

I have maintained from the beginning-the laws are the issue-it is time for the gubmnt to get out of the marriage business.

lostand confused says

I know you make fun of people and never deal with issues and love to troll.

That's ironman for you.

And what's funny is that he thought that this thread was simply a trolling on me alone.

And then little by little, everyone else comes out of the woodwork and he's looking like a tool.

I've always wonder how much sexual rejection is required to make a person like CIC.

CIC is just upset because the law of the land now allows men to marry each other, but he still can't marry goats. And CIC had already picked out a wedding dress. Oh no, her dress matches his!

He was so looking forward to removing that garter.

Dan8267 says

CIC is just upset because the law of the land now allows men to marry each other, but he still can't marry goats. And CIC had already picked out a wedding dress. Oh no, her dress matches his!

He was so looking forward to removing that garter.

Wasn't this a subject of a Woody Allen movie from yesteryear ...www.youtube.com/embed/ZbMa7BpPsNc

Damn, it's like a documentary of CIC's life.

Dan8267 says

Damn, it's like a documentary of CIC's life.

Well then, don't watch the full movie, you may die laughing!

Ironman says

I have multiple decades on the planet and know tons of married couples. If I had to take an educated guess, the approximate divorce rate of everyone I've run into is maybe 20%. In the majority of them, it was real easy to spot the reason for the divorce, as the couple weren't compatible from the get go. Maybe the "physical" part of the relationship was more important than the "mental" part

That depends. not sure your age. people I know who are in their 50s and 60s fit into your category.
I am younger and my generation-many are sharing my views. I am really surprised at the number of women I work with who tell me never to get married. Nowadays a lot of women are very successful and earn a ton of money and they are facing the same issues of lazy spouses who don't work.

I am mixed -my parents have a very great marriage and in a couple of years would hit the half century marriage mark-which in this day and age is a miracle. They really love each other at this age and nowadays can't spend more than a day apart-especially dear old dad! He can cook and clean etc-but just misses her company. I do know a few couples like that-got past trying to change the other, know the buttons which not to push and have a lifetime of shared experience -it is really beautiful.

Perhaps in the old days, divorce was frowned upon and so couples made lot more effort to adjust and family was in your business and so tempered people and helped ride out rough spots. now the gubmnt supports everyone and so an extended family is not needed .

yes serial divorcees and such like Liz Taylor or the kardashians are a reality-but me thinks if the laws are changed where people who game the system don't benefit-then a big chunk will go away.

lostand confused says

I am mixed -my parents have a very great marriage and in a couple of years would hit the half century marriage mark-which in this day and age is a miracle

My parent never divorced but today, they barely speak to each other.

Being members of that ancient generation, they don't want to be seen as *divorced* publicly, so the best way to deal with life is to live in separate bedrooms and do things, independent of one another. In other words, they're housemates but with little in common.

Rin says

My parent never divorced but today, they barely speak to each other.

Being members of that ancient generation, they don't want to be seen as *divorced* publicly, so the best way to deal with life is to live in separate bedrooms and do things, independent of one another. In other words, they're housemates but with little in common.

Yeah,it depends. I went through that phase when I was younger of banging chicks and partying. Through it now-it took a while and am settling down now. But I was ready to settle down, wanted kids and so looked for that. One of the criteria I had was that she had money-not for me-so she would not be dependent on me and had the confidence to stand on her own. I was lucky to find that and someone whose company I enjoy too. That makes a difference to have someone you enjoy being with and who enjoys being with you and you don't have to pay for it !!!!! Plus if things ever go sour, she has her own money and actually wants to be independent-so no fear. But if I settled down early in life then my choice would have been different and in some states you owe alimony for life after as little as 10 years together-so if married someone ar 19 and divorced at 29-you can be on the hook till you or she dies.

but even she wants the laws changes-as do quite a lot of successful women I know.

Rin,

I'm not making a judgement on the path you chose for yourself. Prostitution can be one of the most honest and transparent transactions in the marketplace. (as long as the hookers aren't coerced into it, which happens a lot).
But not should you assume that all folks in committed monogamous relationships (including same gender couples) are miserable, dishonest, foolish or whatever. Half or so of such folks are just motivated by and act on a different set of values than yours..
Kinda like our friend the Strategist, who cannot fathom that there's more to Life in America than the Bay Area House Equity. That value system imported from the crowded cities of Asia is just different than Joshuatrio's which is more centered on Quality of Life.
Us Monogomous Folks are happy for you that you've mapped out a life that works for your values that doesn't bring harm to others (unlike those immigrants in San Bernardino).
I know, some Smarty-Pants here are Telling You You're Wrong for your Choice.
I'm not telling you that. It's your life. But I am Calling B*llsh*t on you telling how you have figured out the values and motivations of others who value different things than you do.

B.A.C.A.H. says

Rin,

I'm not making a judgement on the path you chose for yourself. Prostitution can be one of the most honest and transparent transactions in the marketplace. (as long as the hookers aren't coerced into it, which happens a lot).

But not should you assume that all folks in committed monogamous relationships (including same gender couples) are miserable, dishonest, foolish or whatever. Half or so of such folks are just motivated by and act on a different set of values than yours..
Kinda like our friend the Strategist, who cannot fathom that there's more to Life in America than the Bay Area House Equity. That value system imported from the crowded cities of Asia is just different than Joshuatrio's which is more centered on Quality of Life.
Us Monogomous Folks are happy for you that you've mapped out a life that works for your values that doesn't bring harm to others (unlike those immigrants in San Bernardino).
I know, some Smarty-Pants here are Telling You You're Wrong for your Choice.
I'm not telling you that. It's your life. But I am Calling B*llsh*t on you telling how you have figured out the values and motivations of others who value different things than you do.

If you're sincere in everything you'd said above then great! You're one of the few posterers, who despite having a different world view than my own, isn't pushing society's agenda onto ppl like myself. For that, thank you.

As for Ironman, CIC, or whomever, go to hell.

Ironman says

Well, that settles it. You got 4 (actually 3, because Dan is all about animals, not humans), to chime into the thread. Want to remind us how many members Patnet has?

Yep, that's a consensus!! Carry on!

Of course, the fact that 16 have you blocked, has nothing to do with it, vs a handful for me.

And what's even more pathetic is how you feel the need to tell a grown man, how to live his sex life. My, you're now the grandparent for everyone on this forum.

Rin says

Plus, last I'd checked, 5 have ignored me whereas it's 16 for you

I wouldn't go by that. Ignores say more about the people using them then the people their used on.

In fact, if I could, I'd force a lot of people on this site to have be on ignore.

But yes, CIC only gets the idiot vote. He's like the Donald Trump of PatNet. In fact, he's so batshit stupid he'll take that as a compliment.

Dan8267 says

He's like the Donald Trump of PatNet.

Not really, Donald Trump is possibly the most entertaining wannabe politician of all time.

In contrast, the likes of a CIC or an Ironman (assuming that these are alter egos) is at best, a failed abortion.

Different strokes for different folks. I think the key is that one does what one wishes to do with one's life, but based on a pure understanding of the world and your own inner motives. There are a lot of people in sorry marriages that don't even realize it. Vice versa, there's plenty that party their life away to avoid whatever lack or pain they have. As long as we are banging and boozing for the pure fun of it and without any delusions, then carry on!