patrick.net

Almost all of the Process Crimes if was discovered from an IRS Audit would have resulted in nothing more than a fine the back taxes and plus interest.
None of these guys would have gone to jail.

A New Year message from President Trump

Right, all you schmucks and losers listen up because it’s time for my Noo Year’s Address to you – all of my loyal subjects both in American and around the world.

First off I’d like to tell everyone what a great job I’m doing as President, just the greatest job ever. Under my tenure, hey, isn’t that a great word… ‘tenure’ I just learned it, it means holding office apparently and using it makes me seem kinda smart. My speech writer told me to use it. He’s a real clever guy, just so clever.

Anyway, this year has seen my administration go from strength to strength as my many appointments of chief aides and advisors on weekly rotation and short-term contracts has helped stabilise our government. By the way, any of those guys who say they left of their own accord are peddling FAKE NEWS. It’s just a bunch of crap. I fired them all. They were sad guys unable to cut it when the chips were down. Just the worst kinda people. Bums and deadbeat wasters.

I’ve had a great year on the world stage too travelling around the globe slapping down dictators, and negotiation great deals for the US. Other leaders are quite frankly in awe of me. I always see them looking right at me and whispering to one another when I enter a room. I don’t doubt what they’re saying is that I’m really amazing but of course international protocol and diplomacy won’t allow them to come right out and say it directly in front of the cameras.

And what about that dumpy little kid with the weird haircut out in Korea? I made a proper Potsie out of him, didn’t I? That was so brilliant the way I handled him. He ain’t firing nukes at anyone now, is he? Hehe!

I’ve had a couple of meetings with that dame Theresa May from Britain too. Now I ain’t gonna say a lot about her abilities, but if she’d turned up as a contestant on The Apprentice, that’s my top-rated award-winning TV show, then she’d not have made it beyond the first task. Knowhadda mean?

Wow, she’s bad. Just so bad and she’s making a total mess of getting rid of Europe. I’ve wanted go over there and fix it all up real good myself, but in the end I figure Europe really doesn’t matter a lot to the US so let them get on with it themselves.

I’ve got Putin back in his box too. When was the last time you saw him bare-chested riding a horse or jumping into an ice-pond in his birthday suit? He’s too busy panicking because now in me he has a worthy foe who cannot be duped. If Putin tries anything then I’m ready for him just as soon as he says I am.

Now if I can just make a slight deviation to talk about me for a moment. That Stormy Daniels story was nothing more than a put-up job by my opponents and the Lefties and I have to tell you it’s cost me a lot to sort it out. $130,000 currently and counting, possibly even my Presidency if I can’t pay off a few more folks to get the impeachment proceedings stopped.

On a sad note I’ve had to offer up up a lot of thoughts and prayers this year as many of our citizens have needlessly lost their lives. But here’s the thing, if people wouldn’t insist on going to shopping malls, concert halls schools and cinemas or enjoy spending leisure time in public places then they’d not be shot dead in cold blood by folks just wanting to honour the 2nd Amendment of our great constitution and exercise their right to bear arms.

Finally I’d like to say a few words about my First lady Stormy… I mean Melania. Wow! Is she still one red-hot babe or what?

OK, I gotta stop gabbing now so I’ll finish with this. To my core supporters I say I hope 2019 brings you all even more guns and automatic assault rifles than you know what to do with, as much roast squirrel and roadkill as you can scrape off the highway and a beautiful great big high wall, so goddamn high, just the highest.

Let’s all look forward to 2019 when together we can make USA even greater than I have done already.

God Bless America!

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2018/12/31/a-new-year-message-from-president-trump/

No No no Liberals this is not Meming. Effective Meme's require actual truth. These Trump cartoons, are mere fantasies that the Democrats wish would happen or wish Trump would say. You Libs still don't get it. That's why we're eating your lunch.

Tenpoundbass says

require actual truth

LMAO !

marcus says

That's a good meme. Finally :)

CBOEtrader says

That's a good meme. Finally :)

Exactly as it plays on something that actually happened. Trump actually said those words. You can't inject wishful thinking into Memes.
That's just Liberal tears.

marcus says

Conspires with our enemies to obstruct unlawful witch hunts from Assbroke Democrats.
Pays hush money to porn stars. The jury is still out on that. You aren't even curios as to why Cohen never actully stood trial nor why his sentencing has been postponed?

He got paid big bucks to make shit up, and he doesn't have to go on record in the court of law to back his claims up.

He has been the biggest perpetrator of the Stormy Daniels lie. She wishes he would shut the fuck up before She goes to jail for lying.

That meme cries sourgrapes that is not a meme. It's petty politics as usual by the Lying Dems.

great addition to the Trump humor thread. Triggered much ?

Daddy Money or no Daddy Money. The average ratio of people that huge Lottery windfall that either kills the recipient or they end up broke in a very short time. Is quite high.

I've known several people in my life that inherited their Mom or Dad's money they all died Broke and Young.

Lol yeah these memes show a clueless and out of touch left.

Also just not funny.

Very funny to think these are considered "gotcha"'s to the left, though.

Do we want a deal maker on the battle field?

It cracks me up to hear the Liberals the Concious objectors of the Vietnam war during the Civil rights fiasco.
Honking and moaning about Draft dodgers today. It's very selective, like when they chose to believe rape victims or not. It depends on who's playing the nickel slots dictates the jackpot payout.

CBOEtrader says

Lol yeah these memes show a clueless and out of touch left.

Also just not funny.

Also I'm not as arrogant as you to point out that your memes and cartoons aren't funny. Of course they aren't funny to me, I'm not a lying moron. It goes without saying that I don't find them funny.

Likewise, you don't find the reality based humor I post is funny. I wouldn't expect you to.

marcus says

Likewise, you don't find the

Lolz dude, you are posting about how you despise America and Americans. That's not reality, it's a dark, sad perspective.

I feel for you man, you've been lied to

More irrelevant posts to the Trump humor thread.

The only time Fugelsang has called out Jesus' name is when he tripped down that long stairwell at the Improv.

No Wonder He Kept Going Bankrupt.

Did Trump have as much faith in fellow real-estate moguls as he now has in Putin and Kim and Mohammed bin Salman?



SCENE: Corner office, Trump Tower, New York City.

DATE: Circa 2013.

IN ATTENDANCE: Donald Trump; Michael Cohen; Donald Trump, Jr.; Eric Trump; Allen Weisselberg, C.F.O. of the Trump Organization.

Donald Trump: All right, we’re here to decide if we should buy the Garfield Arms apartment building, on Lexington Avenue, from Stan Lewis for ninety-six million dollars, assuming that the financing from the Herzegovina Savings and Loan is still there after the investigation. Stan is a terrific guy, by the way—one of the original members of Mar-a-Lago and the author of that letter of appreciation about how my club is a lot better than any other club. “Out of the league of any other club” were his exact words. A really great guy. Donald, Jr., what do you have?

Donald Trump, Jr.: Well, I spoke to the commissioner of the New York City Department of Buildings, and he confirmed the existence of the inspection report that our spy in the D.O.B. warned us might be coming. The inspectors think that the building will fall down before the end of the year.

Donald Trump: Stan denies that vehemently.

Donald Trump, Jr.: The commissioner says that the department is preparing a condemnation order.

Donald Trump: Stan strongly denies that. He was very strong in his denial. Very, very strong. He denied it to me personally, on the phone, and he denied it to me last week, when he presented me with that plaque naming me the Carpet Manufacturer Association’s South Florida Man of the Year. Michael?

Michael Cohen: I called the commissioner of the Buildings Department and told him that if he condemned the Garfield Arms we would get him fired, we would crush him like a bug, we would litigate him into abject poverty, we would burn his crops, and we would kill his firstborn son.

Donald Trump: What did he say to that?

Michael Cohen: I think when I said that, he’d already hung up the phone. I was afraid to call back and find out.

Donald Trump: Eric. You have your hand up. What is it?

Eric Trump: I have to go potty.

Donald Trump: Go. Don’t come back. Somebody lock the door. Allen, what have you got?

Allen Weisselberg: Well, it turns out that the owners’ financial statement is a crock. Putting a soup kitchen in the lobby didn’t drive out nearly as many rent-controlled tenants as they thought it would, and it brought on a lawsuit that’s bound to cost millions before it’s over. Their income projections for next year are strictly fantasyland. Our accountants say that, even if the building doesn’t fall down, it will be in the red for at least the next forty years. They say that investing in the Garfield Arms makes the Kushners getting suckered into buying that white elephant on Fifth Avenue—the one Henry Geldzahler said looks like the box the Seagram Building came in—seem like getting in on the Amazon I.P.O.

Donald Trump: Stan denies that very strongly. He denied it once before, and then he denied it again when I phoned to thank him for the letter he wrote to the Palm Beach paper saying that I was the best businessman ever, and possibly the Messiah.

Donald Trump, Jr.: That was a great letter, Dad.

Eric Trump (shouting through the door): I framed that letter, Dad.

Donald Trump: O.K., that does it. We buy. That’s why I’m so much better at this than anyone else—I hear from the experts I’ve surrounded myself with, and then I make an executive decision.

All, in chorus: You’re the greatest! You’re the greatest!

Eric Trump (still shouting through the door): You’re the bestest ever in the whole wide world.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/02/04/no-wonder-donald-trump-kept-going-bankrupt

Obama went to a Blackkk rally and nobody said a word. He's rubbing elbows with a President that supports mass genocide of people based on their color.
And nobody says a word.

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/08/stunning-obama-praises-south-african-leader-despite-race-killings-and-new-law-that-seizes-white-farmers-land-without-compensation/

Kakistocracy says

You’re the greatest! You’re the greatest!

Somebody has way to much time on their hands.