more Trump cartoons
invite response
2017 Feb 19, 8:06pm 67,527 views 928 comments
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775
anonymous
2019 Mar 9, 1:44am
How GOP Leaders Go From Being #NeverTrump To Trump Supporters
Many top Republican elected officials, including Senators Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz, went from criticizing Donald Trump during the 2016 election to becoming some of the president’s staunchest supporters. A step-by-step look at how many of Trump’s GOP detractors become his biggest cheerleaders.
STEP 1:
Cable news invented.
STEP 2:
Discover constituents prefer loud vocalization of hateful beliefs over their quietly acting on them.
STEP 3:
Democrats nominate a woman.
STEP 4:
Flattered when Trump almost gets their name right.
STEP 5:
“Lock Her Up” chant a total earworm.
STEP 6:
Trump embraces classic Republican Party values like tax cuts for billionaires and impunity for groping women.
STEP 7:
Realize there’s no backing down at this point.
STEP 8:
Stop worrying that approving Trump’s policies would ruin legacy after observing how that didn’t happen when John McCain died.
STEP 9:
Concede it was actually pretty funny that Trump gave out a critic’s phone number at a rally.
STEP 10:
Figure you’re quitting for a lobbying job in two years anyways, so fuck it.
https://politics.theonion.com/how-gop-leaders-go-from-being-nevertrump-to-trump-supp-1833097095
Many top Republican elected officials, including Senators Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz, went from criticizing Donald Trump during the 2016 election to becoming some of the president’s staunchest supporters. A step-by-step look at how many of Trump’s GOP detractors become his biggest cheerleaders.
STEP 1:
Cable news invented.
STEP 2:
Discover constituents prefer loud vocalization of hateful beliefs over their quietly acting on them.
STEP 3:
Democrats nominate a woman.
STEP 4:
Flattered when Trump almost gets their name right.
STEP 5:
“Lock Her Up” chant a total earworm.
STEP 6:
Trump embraces classic Republican Party values like tax cuts for billionaires and impunity for groping women.
STEP 7:
Realize there’s no backing down at this point.
STEP 8:
Stop worrying that approving Trump’s policies would ruin legacy after observing how that didn’t happen when John McCain died.
STEP 9:
Concede it was actually pretty funny that Trump gave out a critic’s phone number at a rally.
STEP 10:
Figure you’re quitting for a lobbying job in two years anyways, so fuck it.
https://politics.theonion.com/how-gop-leaders-go-from-being-nevertrump-to-trump-supp-1833097095
776
anonymous
2019 Mar 9, 2:32am
Trump to host, judge and receive new ‘Greatest American’ annual award
‘The Greatest Americans’ (or Donalds) will be awarded at a glitzy ceremony to be held at Trump Tower in March and although not all the final details have been released, several of the award categories have been revealed.
Already on the list are:
Greatest American to own a chain of exclusive international golf resorts.
Greatest American to start out in business after being bankrolled 8 billion dollars by his Dad.
Greatest American reality TV star to make it as President of the USA.
Greatest American who made America and its economy truly great again.
Speaking at a press conference to announce the awards Mr Trump said: ‘The Greatest Americans will be a great ceremony, just the greatest ceremony. Yes it will.
It will become the most hotly anticipated award show of the season and it will make The Oscars and The Emmys… and by the way folks, just how sad are the Oscars and Emmys? They’re sad ceremonies, wow, just the saddest. They’re real bad too, oh yeah believe me. They stink!’
‘Anyway, The Greatest Americans won’t stink. They will make all those other sad award shows seem like a Junior High prize-giving day. FACT!’
‘The Greatest Americans’ (or Donalds) will be awarded at a glitzy ceremony to be held at Trump Tower in March and although not all the final details have been released, several of the award categories have been revealed.
Already on the list are:
Greatest American to own a chain of exclusive international golf resorts.
Greatest American to start out in business after being bankrolled 8 billion dollars by his Dad.
Greatest American reality TV star to make it as President of the USA.
Greatest American who made America and its economy truly great again.
Speaking at a press conference to announce the awards Mr Trump said: ‘The Greatest Americans will be a great ceremony, just the greatest ceremony. Yes it will.
It will become the most hotly anticipated award show of the season and it will make The Oscars and The Emmys… and by the way folks, just how sad are the Oscars and Emmys? They’re sad ceremonies, wow, just the saddest. They’re real bad too, oh yeah believe me. They stink!’
‘Anyway, The Greatest Americans won’t stink. They will make all those other sad award shows seem like a Junior High prize-giving day. FACT!’
777
CBOEtrader
2019 Mar 9, 6:14am
CBOEtrader
2019 Mar 9, 6:14am
marcus says
Based on what? I noticed you never posted in my legit criticisms of trump thread.
Make your case
It has nothing to do with him being the worst President ever.
Based on what? I noticed you never posted in my legit criticisms of trump thread.
Make your case
783
Tenpoundbass
2019 Mar 9, 8:33am
Tenpoundbass
2019 Mar 9, 8:33am
d6rB says
I agree with this 100% that's why we need some Indictments and Activist Judges impeached and disbarred.
We need Brenda Snipes to go to Jail not be giving a Liberal bullhorn and cry about Racism and how her Due Process was violated. After she fucked the Broward County voters in the Ass for three weeks after the election. And Broward has the most state of the art electronic voting system in the United States. Don't forget America now has Electronic Voting systems because Al Gore wasn't happy with the Democratic results of the 2000 election. Every county in America with Shittier electronic voting machines than ours, had their votes all tallied within minutes after 10pm.
Thanks for reminding America why it's so important we purge the voter roles in every state and implement Voter Ids. We are a Team, d6rB you and ME!
I agree with this 100% that's why we need some Indictments and Activist Judges impeached and disbarred.
We need Brenda Snipes to go to Jail not be giving a Liberal bullhorn and cry about Racism and how her Due Process was violated. After she fucked the Broward County voters in the Ass for three weeks after the election. And Broward has the most state of the art electronic voting system in the United States. Don't forget America now has Electronic Voting systems because Al Gore wasn't happy with the Democratic results of the 2000 election. Every county in America with Shittier electronic voting machines than ours, had their votes all tallied within minutes after 10pm.
Thanks for reminding America why it's so important we purge the voter roles in every state and implement Voter Ids. We are a Team, d6rB you and ME!
790
Bd6r
2019 Mar 9, 9:37am
Bd6r
2019 Mar 9, 9:37am
To be more clear, I am not a particularly big fan of t-RUMP and did not vote for him. I MIGHT vote for him if I get annoyed enough around next election, and if I hear more nonsense about Fucking White males oppressing everyone, and how illegal immigrants are the same as legal immigrants, and so on.
Having said that, media is much worse than ORANGEMANBAD when he is at his lowest. Point of the picture I posted above is not that Trump is great. It is that media even do not pretend to be objective and logical, they operate by their emotions and/or orders from masters of Universe. Pseudo-journalist completely bombed with his (xer) prediction in 2016 and now xe is making exact same prediction for 2020, probably based on the same (lack of) logical reasoning. CNN must be fucking stupid to post something written by this journalist.
I guess we can say that press should be free to be stupid. But the problem is that nearly all MSM are stupid in one direction.
Having said that, media is much worse than ORANGEMANBAD when he is at his lowest. Point of the picture I posted above is not that Trump is great. It is that media even do not pretend to be objective and logical, they operate by their emotions and/or orders from masters of Universe. Pseudo-journalist completely bombed with his (xer) prediction in 2016 and now xe is making exact same prediction for 2020, probably based on the same (lack of) logical reasoning. CNN must be fucking stupid to post something written by this journalist.
I guess we can say that press should be free to be stupid. But the problem is that nearly all MSM are stupid in one direction.
791
CBOEtrader
2019 Mar 9, 10:03am
CBOEtrader
2019 Mar 9, 10:03am
CBOEtrader says
Marcus posts 20 memes, yet cant support his anti-Trump thesis w a single example.
marcus says
It has nothing to do with him being the worst President ever.
Based on what? I noticed you never posted in my legit criticisms of trump thread.
Make your case
Marcus posts 20 memes, yet cant support his anti-Trump thesis w a single example.
799
Tenpoundbass
2019 Mar 10, 12:33pm
Tenpoundbass
2019 Mar 10, 12:33pm
You Lead Paint eating morons do understand that All Gore's Global Warming Scam under the Guise of "Science".
Is the first reputed Widely accepted Settled Science in the History of Academia that belief in the Political Policy of "Global Warming" Lies purely across political lines.
It is the ONLY so called Widely Accepted Settled Science EVER that doesn't have an actual laboratory experiment that can reproduced by anyone to prove. There's not ONE single Scientific Experiment to back it up. All they have a fudged Charts and legislation that mandates it be accepted.
Even every theory about Light can be reproduced in a lab. Nothing about the Global Warming Hoax can be reproduced.
You Idiots just have to take All "Cry Me a fucking River" Gore's word for it.
Is the first reputed Widely accepted Settled Science in the History of Academia that belief in the Political Policy of "Global Warming" Lies purely across political lines.
It is the ONLY so called Widely Accepted Settled Science EVER that doesn't have an actual laboratory experiment that can reproduced by anyone to prove. There's not ONE single Scientific Experiment to back it up. All they have a fudged Charts and legislation that mandates it be accepted.
Even every theory about Light can be reproduced in a lab. Nothing about the Global Warming Hoax can be reproduced.
You Idiots just have to take All "Cry Me a fucking River" Gore's word for it.
801
WillPowers
2019 Mar 10, 6:27pm
WillPowers
2019 Mar 10, 6:27pm
Tenpoundbass says
By any means possible even if it goes against the constitootion or something. What do you call it when someone does something wrong and then someone else like Coongress has do something about it. Is that like, of yeah Impeachment. Impeach the bastard.
By any means possible even if it goes against the constitootion or something. What do you call it when someone does something wrong and then someone else like Coongress has do something about it. Is that like, of yeah Impeachment. Impeach the bastard.
802
Tenpoundbass
2019 Mar 10, 6:42pm
Tenpoundbass
2019 Mar 10, 6:42pm
WillPowers says
There's no law against defeating Hillary in an Election.
I hope you really take to heart what is about to happen to your Commie Class in Washington.
What do you call it when someone does something wrong and then someone else like Coongress has do something about it. Is that like, of yeah Impeachment. Impeach the bastard.
There's no law against defeating Hillary in an Election.
I hope you really take to heart what is about to happen to your Commie Class in Washington.
806
CBOEtrader
2019 Mar 11, 6:50am
CBOEtrader
2019 Mar 11, 6:50am
marcus says
You missed white, male, conservative, especially women and POC conservatives, as well as teens wearing maga hats
You missed white, male, conservative, especially women and POC conservatives, as well as teens wearing maga hats
809
anonymous
2019 Mar 12, 8:45am
Donald on Kim—Love’s in the Air
I think I won
With Kim Jong-un.
He’s a major leader,
I’m a bottom feeder.
He’s an absolute power.
But I’m Donald TRUMP Tower.
I believe what he says,
He’s Chairman, I’m Pres.
Vlad thinks he is cool,
I’m nobody’s fool.
We sat down for tea.
I think he likes me.
He’s got the green light.
I am his white knight.
He knows that he flatters.
To me, that’s what matters.
Democracy wrong,
Boy he is strong!
He killed his half-brother,
From a different mother.
An airport killing!
I find it so thrilling.
I felt our connection,
And even affection.
He’s a liar and cheat,
I find him so sweet.
He’s such an oppressor,
I'll use his hairdresser.
He showed me his missile.
I just sat and whistled.
I think I’m in love.
He fits like a glove.
https://www.whatthortoldme.com/donald-on-kim-loves-in-the-air/
I think I won
With Kim Jong-un.
He’s a major leader,
I’m a bottom feeder.
He’s an absolute power.
But I’m Donald TRUMP Tower.
I believe what he says,
He’s Chairman, I’m Pres.
Vlad thinks he is cool,
I’m nobody’s fool.
We sat down for tea.
I think he likes me.
He’s got the green light.
I am his white knight.
He knows that he flatters.
To me, that’s what matters.
Democracy wrong,
Boy he is strong!
He killed his half-brother,
From a different mother.
An airport killing!
I find it so thrilling.
I felt our connection,
And even affection.
He’s a liar and cheat,
I find him so sweet.
He’s such an oppressor,
I'll use his hairdresser.
He showed me his missile.
I just sat and whistled.
I think I’m in love.
He fits like a glove.
https://www.whatthortoldme.com/donald-on-kim-loves-in-the-air/
810
anonymous
2019 Mar 12, 8:46am
America’s Recipe—Plain and Simple
Trump is effective because he is the shiny object. Devoid of substance, the message is him. If the medium is the message, (said the late Marshall Mcluhan), then self is what we get from a narcissist. Self-dealing, self-promotion, self-aggrandizement, self-righteous, self-serving but never selfless.
The leaders of free nations attained their position through hard work, rising up through the ranks, being outstanding, admired and effective. Trump’s becoming President was a fluke, a mistake and aberration in an imperfect system where every vote didn’t count because of the Electoral Voting system. In retrospect, it’s become increasing debatable whether Hillary [Clinton] was the best (or even a good) candidate but the special ignorance and attitude of the current resident of the White House makes him the best—at being the worst. He is a “winner” by all accounts. He is the angriest, phoniest, most incompetent and dishonest egomaniac ever to set foot where the other 44 have gone before him.
Any other person, any other species, some not even mammals, would serve more effectively. Trump is devoid of compassion. A person who takes delight in caging children and permanently separating them from their parents are nature’s chromosomal deviates. Yes, there’s an abnormality in the Oval!
Like the man himself, he is painfully simple, uncurious, easily swayed by dark forces (Fox News), willing to believe the worst of good people and reject the worst in tyrants and despots. In fact, the admires and emulates dictators. He dreams of being an absolute autocrat is only he could lie, cheat and con his way to that end. Everyone around him is forced to dumb down his information. He is a cartoon character in a 46XXL suit. He is a lurking, scowling, mockery of a mistake.
If the medium is really the message, Trump as President says a lot. It tells a story of a failed United States—one where racists and white supremacists, bigots and extremists crept out into the open to worship their peach-haired golden idol-of-mayhem. It brands America as an erratic player, one to distrust, to be wary of, to hold at arms-length.
So, I ask if simple is better? Sadly, simple is what we have. A science denier who hates theories—climate change, gravity, relativity—they are more than his single neurons can wrap their little hands around. Beware, a person who doubts evolution is unevolved. He appoints the incompetent and rich to government jobs they cannot even spell or understand. These are his shills who he owns, his well-groomed, tightly-leashed grovelers who will help him consolidate his power. Yes, he is a simple, unencumbered, unapologetic dictator, a punisher first and foremost, who relishes being feared, not respected.
Simple is less than we bargained for.
https://www.whatthortoldme.com/americas-recipe-plain-and-simple/
Trump is effective because he is the shiny object. Devoid of substance, the message is him. If the medium is the message, (said the late Marshall Mcluhan), then self is what we get from a narcissist. Self-dealing, self-promotion, self-aggrandizement, self-righteous, self-serving but never selfless.
The leaders of free nations attained their position through hard work, rising up through the ranks, being outstanding, admired and effective. Trump’s becoming President was a fluke, a mistake and aberration in an imperfect system where every vote didn’t count because of the Electoral Voting system. In retrospect, it’s become increasing debatable whether Hillary [Clinton] was the best (or even a good) candidate but the special ignorance and attitude of the current resident of the White House makes him the best—at being the worst. He is a “winner” by all accounts. He is the angriest, phoniest, most incompetent and dishonest egomaniac ever to set foot where the other 44 have gone before him.
Any other person, any other species, some not even mammals, would serve more effectively. Trump is devoid of compassion. A person who takes delight in caging children and permanently separating them from their parents are nature’s chromosomal deviates. Yes, there’s an abnormality in the Oval!
Like the man himself, he is painfully simple, uncurious, easily swayed by dark forces (Fox News), willing to believe the worst of good people and reject the worst in tyrants and despots. In fact, the admires and emulates dictators. He dreams of being an absolute autocrat is only he could lie, cheat and con his way to that end. Everyone around him is forced to dumb down his information. He is a cartoon character in a 46XXL suit. He is a lurking, scowling, mockery of a mistake.
If the medium is really the message, Trump as President says a lot. It tells a story of a failed United States—one where racists and white supremacists, bigots and extremists crept out into the open to worship their peach-haired golden idol-of-mayhem. It brands America as an erratic player, one to distrust, to be wary of, to hold at arms-length.
So, I ask if simple is better? Sadly, simple is what we have. A science denier who hates theories—climate change, gravity, relativity—they are more than his single neurons can wrap their little hands around. Beware, a person who doubts evolution is unevolved. He appoints the incompetent and rich to government jobs they cannot even spell or understand. These are his shills who he owns, his well-groomed, tightly-leashed grovelers who will help him consolidate his power. Yes, he is a simple, unencumbered, unapologetic dictator, a punisher first and foremost, who relishes being feared, not respected.
Simple is less than we bargained for.
https://www.whatthortoldme.com/americas-recipe-plain-and-simple/
812
anonymous
2019 Mar 12, 8:49am
“We’re Assholes”: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Announces the Trump Doctrine from the White House Briefing Room
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Good afternoon. I wanted to start today with the official announcement of the Trump Doctrine. There’s been plenty of speculation among the media about what a possible Trump Doctrine represents so we’ve decided it will save a lot of time if we just state it outright.
We’re assholes.
Honestly, we thought this was pretty obvious from the last two plus years, but this makes it official. Whenever the administration announces a policy you can assume it was following a deliberative process in which we carefully decided what an asshole would do and then chose that.
President Trump has initiated a trade war with his closest allies because he’s an asshole. He canceled the Iran deal because he’s an asshole. He tweets about Maxine Waters because he’s an asshole. He goes to the G7 summit and suggests Russia should be readmitted to the group because he’s an asshole.
Thousands of white people show up to President Trump’s rallies because he’s an asshole who attracts other assholes.
We look forward to living the principles of the Trump Doctrine on a daily basis for the next six years, longer if we decide elections are something only non-assholes believe in.
Q: JIM ACOSTA (CNN): Does this apply to issues like the policy separating migrant children from families at the border?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Yes, in this case the policy is rooted in President Trump not just being an asshole in general, but a racist asshole in specific.
Q: HALLIE JACKSON (NBC): Does the Trump Doctrine exclusively apply to President Trump or does it extend to other members of the administration?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: I think it’s been made pretty clear this administration is filled with assholes. When General Kelly makes excuses for not firing a known domestic abuser, it’s because General Kelly is an asshole.
When Peter Navarro said there was a “special place in Hell” for Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau, it’s because he’s an asshole.
Secretary Pruitt isn’t just an asshole, but a corrupt asshole. Secretary DeVos is a clueless asshole.
We’ve successfully installed assholes in every part of the government, assholes top to bottom.
Q: HALLIE JACKSON: Follow-up, do you see the Trump Doctrine as a break from the traditions of the Republican Party?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: I think it’s also clear that the Republican Party has been filled with assholes for quite a long time.
Paul Ryan is a callous asshole. Mitch McConnell is a smirking asshole. Devin Nunes is a traitorous asshole. Jeff Flake and Marco Rubio are spineless assholes.
Essentially, anyone who still publicly identifies as a Republican is an asshole. It’s really Donald Trump’s party now, a big tent by and for assholes, including not just racist assholes, but greedy assholes as well.
Q: ED HENRY (Fox News): Sarah, is it fair to say that the Trump Doctrine is an essential part of making America great again?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Ed, I think we’re all familiar with the phrase “nice guys finish last,” right? If that’s true, it isn’t hard to figure out where assholes finish.
Q: MAGGIE HABERMAN (New York Times): In keeping up with our paper’s tradition of using euphemisms like “questionable truths” for “lies” and “racially tinged” for “racist” would it be okay if we said “rear-end orifice” instead of “asshole.”
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: You do you, Maggie.
Q: ASHLEY PARKER (Washington Post): Do you consider yourself part of the Trump Doctrine?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Would I be able to stand up here and lie to you day after day if I wasn’t an asshole? Would I tweet about being denied service at a restaurant knowing it would rain a giant shitstorm down on a small business if I wasn’t an asshole?
Do the math, Ashley.
Q: ASHLEY PARKER (almost inaudible): Asshole.
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Exactly.
Q: JONATHAN KARL (ABC): Is the First Family also subject to the Trump Doctrine?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: I think you can answer that question for yourself, Jon. Why would Melania Trump wear a jacket with I REALLY DON’T CARE printed on the back after she visits migrant children if she wasn’t an asshole? Why would Ivanka Trump post adorable pictures of her with her children on Instagram while other parents are being forcibly separated from their offspring if she wasn’t an asshole?
Why would Donald Jr. continue to draw breath if he wasn’t just a giant, gaping asshole?
It’s not complicated. It’s never been complicated.
Q: JONATHAN KARL (ABC): What about Tiffany?
Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Who?
Q: DAVID BRODY (Christian Broadcasting Network): How does President Trump reconcile the Trump Doctrine with his strong Christian faith.
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: David, I think if you examine the Bible, you’ll see nothing incompatible between being a Christian and being an asshole. In fact, some of the biggest assholes in history have possessed a strong Christian faith.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions, for one example. My father for another.
Okay, we have time for one more question.
Q: MAJOR GARRETT (CBS News): What does the Trump Doctrine mean for the importance of civility in political discourse?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Civility is hugely important… for other people, because it makes it easier for us to just keep being assholes.
That’s it for today. Later, dickheads.
Q: (SEVERAL VOICES): Thanks, Sarah!
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/were-assholes-sarah-huckabee-sanders-announces-the-trump-doctrine-from-the-white-house-briefing-room
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Good afternoon. I wanted to start today with the official announcement of the Trump Doctrine. There’s been plenty of speculation among the media about what a possible Trump Doctrine represents so we’ve decided it will save a lot of time if we just state it outright.
We’re assholes.
Honestly, we thought this was pretty obvious from the last two plus years, but this makes it official. Whenever the administration announces a policy you can assume it was following a deliberative process in which we carefully decided what an asshole would do and then chose that.
President Trump has initiated a trade war with his closest allies because he’s an asshole. He canceled the Iran deal because he’s an asshole. He tweets about Maxine Waters because he’s an asshole. He goes to the G7 summit and suggests Russia should be readmitted to the group because he’s an asshole.
Thousands of white people show up to President Trump’s rallies because he’s an asshole who attracts other assholes.
We look forward to living the principles of the Trump Doctrine on a daily basis for the next six years, longer if we decide elections are something only non-assholes believe in.
Q: JIM ACOSTA (CNN): Does this apply to issues like the policy separating migrant children from families at the border?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Yes, in this case the policy is rooted in President Trump not just being an asshole in general, but a racist asshole in specific.
Q: HALLIE JACKSON (NBC): Does the Trump Doctrine exclusively apply to President Trump or does it extend to other members of the administration?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: I think it’s been made pretty clear this administration is filled with assholes. When General Kelly makes excuses for not firing a known domestic abuser, it’s because General Kelly is an asshole.
When Peter Navarro said there was a “special place in Hell” for Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau, it’s because he’s an asshole.
Secretary Pruitt isn’t just an asshole, but a corrupt asshole. Secretary DeVos is a clueless asshole.
We’ve successfully installed assholes in every part of the government, assholes top to bottom.
Q: HALLIE JACKSON: Follow-up, do you see the Trump Doctrine as a break from the traditions of the Republican Party?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: I think it’s also clear that the Republican Party has been filled with assholes for quite a long time.
Paul Ryan is a callous asshole. Mitch McConnell is a smirking asshole. Devin Nunes is a traitorous asshole. Jeff Flake and Marco Rubio are spineless assholes.
Essentially, anyone who still publicly identifies as a Republican is an asshole. It’s really Donald Trump’s party now, a big tent by and for assholes, including not just racist assholes, but greedy assholes as well.
Q: ED HENRY (Fox News): Sarah, is it fair to say that the Trump Doctrine is an essential part of making America great again?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Ed, I think we’re all familiar with the phrase “nice guys finish last,” right? If that’s true, it isn’t hard to figure out where assholes finish.
Q: MAGGIE HABERMAN (New York Times): In keeping up with our paper’s tradition of using euphemisms like “questionable truths” for “lies” and “racially tinged” for “racist” would it be okay if we said “rear-end orifice” instead of “asshole.”
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: You do you, Maggie.
Q: ASHLEY PARKER (Washington Post): Do you consider yourself part of the Trump Doctrine?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Would I be able to stand up here and lie to you day after day if I wasn’t an asshole? Would I tweet about being denied service at a restaurant knowing it would rain a giant shitstorm down on a small business if I wasn’t an asshole?
Do the math, Ashley.
Q: ASHLEY PARKER (almost inaudible): Asshole.
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Exactly.
Q: JONATHAN KARL (ABC): Is the First Family also subject to the Trump Doctrine?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: I think you can answer that question for yourself, Jon. Why would Melania Trump wear a jacket with I REALLY DON’T CARE printed on the back after she visits migrant children if she wasn’t an asshole? Why would Ivanka Trump post adorable pictures of her with her children on Instagram while other parents are being forcibly separated from their offspring if she wasn’t an asshole?
Why would Donald Jr. continue to draw breath if he wasn’t just a giant, gaping asshole?
It’s not complicated. It’s never been complicated.
Q: JONATHAN KARL (ABC): What about Tiffany?
Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Who?
Q: DAVID BRODY (Christian Broadcasting Network): How does President Trump reconcile the Trump Doctrine with his strong Christian faith.
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: David, I think if you examine the Bible, you’ll see nothing incompatible between being a Christian and being an asshole. In fact, some of the biggest assholes in history have possessed a strong Christian faith.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions, for one example. My father for another.
Okay, we have time for one more question.
Q: MAJOR GARRETT (CBS News): What does the Trump Doctrine mean for the importance of civility in political discourse?
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: Civility is hugely important… for other people, because it makes it easier for us to just keep being assholes.
That’s it for today. Later, dickheads.
Q: (SEVERAL VOICES): Thanks, Sarah!
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/were-assholes-sarah-huckabee-sanders-announces-the-trump-doctrine-from-the-white-house-briefing-room
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