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Guy Who Decided To Ban The Babylon Bee Wondering If He Might Be In Hot Water
TECH
Oct 27, 2022 · BabylonBee.com
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — As Elon Musk takes over Twitter this week and begins looking for ways to make the $44 billion-dollar company more profitable, some employees are starting to worry about the future of their jobs.
And none more so than Shea L. Porter, a content moderation specialist who's been working for Twitter full-time for 4 hours a week since 2019. According to sources within the company, Porter is the one who made the decision to lock The Babylon Bee out of its account after the satirical news site gave Rachel Levine its coveted "Man of the Year" award.
"You know, I'm starting to wonder if I might be in trouble here," he confided in coworker Ally Federer. "I don't know. I just feel like it might be frowned upon to make a content moderation decision that may have resulted in the entire company getting sold and the whole discourse around free speech in this country shifting."
"Like, did I change Western Civilization forever just because I was a little grumpy that day?" According to Porter, he had a heavy workload back in March when he decided to lock The Bee out of its account and was just a little on edge, resulting in the decision that may have shifted the tides of the war over free speech and big tech censorship forever.
"It was a pretty rough day for me," he admitted. "I was putting in extra hours to get a project done, so I'd worked, like, 8 hours the week before. The cafeteria was out of red wine on tap, and I found the garlic shrimp a little mealy, which is weird, because Fernando down there in the kitchen is usually on point. So, I dunno. I let my emotions get the better of me."
At publishing time, Musk had called Porter into his office and asked him, "So, what would you say... you do here?"
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Only hours after officially taking over Twitter, Elon Musk has taken action on firing underperforming employees. After reviewing the metrics on individual employee productivity, Musk abruptly fired 3,200 Twitter team members and replaced them with Amar.
"Amar is a hardworking immigrant from India who can easily do the work of 3,200 Silicon Valley millennials," said Musk. "Once we filtered out all the breaks for meditation, wine-on-tap, matcha sipping, shuffleboard, and corn-hole, we discovered that these employees could all be replaced with Amar, who will outperform all 3,200 of these employees by at least 9%."
Amar's resume includes a steady stream of success at several call centers in Mumbai, and since his start date on Monday, he has already outworked 2,973 of the employees in weekly productivity. Sources say he works 18 hours per day, sleeps at the office, and takes baths in the bathroom sink, all of which he says are much better working conditions than where he came from.
At publishing time, Twitter employees had announced they all found jobs working for the DNC in Washington, D.C.
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Oct 27
Successful social media companies begin in a shed with 12 coders, and end up in a sumptuous glass tower with 1200 HR staffers, 2000 product managers, 5000 salespeople, 20 gourmet chefs, and 12 coders
Who wants to wager?
Musk is controlled opposition.
stereotomy says
Who wants to wager?
Musk is controlled opposition.
I don't have to wager, I know. Have pointed out his fucked up family and NWO connections many times.
Liberal ideology is unrecognisable. Whereas classical liberalism meant that each individual is free to speak and act as he sees fit, in the 20th century liberals started claiming that their "open society" has enemies. And the freedom that these enemies have must be restricted and cancelled.
—Vladimir Putin
That begs the question, is Trump controlled opposition? Or was it a big mistake of the deep state to let him run?
gabbar says
(((South Asians))) Hassan... Singh...
Morally depraved, shifting sands situational Lefty lack of ethics. Tone deafness to any realistic notion of free speech. Goebbels blaming your opposition of that which you are guilty. I guess it was a profitable gig while it lasted. What more country destroying ethos could one desire than the old Twitter?
Wachtell & Twitter board deliberately hid this evidence from the court. Stay tuned, more to come … pic.twitter.com/CifaNvtRtt
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 31, 2022
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