patrick.net

"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it." ~ John Lennon

Your soul is like a compass. It tell you where to go but not how to get there.

Archie Bunker

https://oneusefulthing.substack.com/p/how-to-make-people-happy

Four easy things you can do to make people happier, and why you don't do them.

There is a lot of research advice that, if you take it, should make you healthier, wealthier, or wiser… but not nearly as much that will make everyone around you happier. The exception is an uplifting string of work that suggests that making people happier is easier than we think. In fact you can make people happier right now, from your computer or phone (maybe finish the Substack article first?).

But if it is so easy, why don’t we do it? Because we are systematically wrong about how much of a difference our little gestures can make to other people, and also how hard these gestures are to make. In fact, the papers all find the same thing: we can make the world better, but we don’t because we think doing so will seem dumb or awkward or meaningless. And we are wrong to feel that way.

For example, appropriately enough for Thanksgiving week in the US, this paper shows we undervalue showing gratitude. We think it will be awkward, we think people know we are grateful, we think it won’t matter much. All of that is wrong. People who were asked to write letters of gratitude to other people overestimated the awkwardness of the experience, and underestimated the impact on the recipient’s mood and happiness. It also made the sender feel happier. So, the first way to make people happy: openly express gratitude towards others more. (Look, I know some of you are thinking this is super cheesy, in part because the research predicts you will find it cheesy. It isn’t! Try it!)

Relatedly, we aren’t as complimentary as we should be. Another paper shows that we don’t compliment people we know enough because we worry it will be unappreciated and awkward (are you starting to sense a theme here?). But “giving compliments in relationships makes both expressers and recipients feel more positive than they expect to feel.” In fact, the paper argues that we are not complimenting each other at nearly the optimal level, because we are afraid of it being awkward. So, the second lesson: genuinely compliment people you know more.

A third paper looks at a related topic: helping others. When a person needs help & all someone can do is provide a little assistance, rather than solving the entire problem, the helper is often reluctant to do anything because they think partial help will not be valued. Again, people really appreciate even small amounts of help. And part of the reason why is that the mere action of someone helping makes the person who needs help feel better, even if they can’t solve a problem completely. So the third way to make people happier is: offer to help people, even if you can’t completely solve the problem.

A fourth paper looks at spontaneous contacts, when we reach out to someone in our social circle who we may not have spoken to in a bit - to say “hi” or to catch up. We don’t do it enough, and (I know this will shock you!) the reason is because we think it will be akward and not appreciated. And, of course, as you might suspect, people really appreciate when someone in their social circle spontaneously reaches out to them, even if they aren’t a very close contact. Again, since we underestimate how much people appreciate spontaneous contact and don’t reach out enough.

So, there is no need to belabor the point further. You can make people (including yourself!) happier, and the reason you aren’t doing it is because you are stuck in your own head. So the research suggests a few small things you can do this Thanksgiving (or World Cup) week, to make the world a little bit better:

Express gratitude more

Give more genuine compliments to people you know

Don’t feel awkward about offering to help, even if you can’t solve the problem

Reach out to some old contacts and say “hi”

Science says it is okay, and not nearly as awkward as you think.

I stop at a gas station every morning and buy a small cup of coffee. Costs me $1.39. Sometimes, the gas station will give me a free cup. I in turn buy coffee for other people at the gas station. Buying the coffee for strangers starts off my day well. Now, the gas station workers recognize me and wish me good morning.

"If the truth is many-sided, then the lie is many-sided" - Winston Churchill.

The American free press has been under attack, not by forces from other countries, but from elements embedded in our own society, and even our own government. It worries me deeply. We are not the enemy of the people. - Jim Gardner, Philadelphia News Anchor, December 22, 2022

I don't understand this one completely. What does Naval mean? Help me out please.

gabbar says

Nonsense. The only reason to have money/power is to get better sex and food.

HeadSet says

Nonsense. The only reason to have money/power is to get better sex and food.

Is he saying that its easier to control our cravings for food, sex than our cravings for music, money, video games?
Patrick, richwicks, wookieman, others...please chime in.

Its crazy that those who created this inflation problem, get to decide to keep their jobs and ruin the life of those who pay the decision makers salary and leave them with out a job.

https://notthebee.com/article/this-small-town-farmer-paid-peoples-pharmacy-bills-for-the-past-decade-and-no-one-knew-about-it-until-after-he-passed-away

This small-town farmer paid people's pharmacy bills for the past decade, and no one knew about it until after he passed away

Patrick says

This small-town farmer paid people's pharmacy bills for the past decade, and no one knew about it until after he passed away

Americans are good people

Social media allows the masses to bypass the mass media, gatekeeper of the elites. - Naval Ravikant

We have been a Christian country for a millennium and I don’t really understand why is it bad news that we don’t want to change that. And I don’t understand why is it bad or why is it unacceptable that we would like to stick to our history, to our culture, to our heritage, to our religion. We never judged other countries that have different kinds of policies. We never judged countries, who said that multiculturalism is more valuable than a homogeneous society, for example. Please, let’s leave it to the certain countries. Let’s leave it to us to make a decision, whether we think multiculturalism is more valuable than a homogeneous society. I understand we don’t agree on that, but I respect that you have a different position and I’m not going to judge you on that (…) but I expect the same. - Péter Szijjártó, Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trade, Hungary

https://notthebee.com/article/this-little-boy-in-arkansas-has-raised-more-than-100k-for-his-favorite-waffle-house-waiter-after-he-found-out-he-didnt-have-a-car-and-was-living-in-horrible-conditions

ZUBY:
@ZubyMusic
The biggest problem in the West right now is many people no longer believe the future will be better than the past.

This demoralisation leads to cultural malaise. And then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Shame people didn't inject themselves with optimism instead.
11:58 AM · Mar 7, 2023

Patrick says

gabbar says

Yet Chomsky repeated the lies about the vaxx, apparently without investigating anything for himself.

Only the vaxx? LOL

Please share with your family and friends

Good investing isn’t necessarily about earning the highest returns, because the highest returns tend to be one-off hits that can’t be repeated. It’s about earning pretty good returns that you can stick with and which can be repeated for the longest period of time. That’s when compounding runs wild. - Morgan Housel

https://notthebee.com/article/north-carolina-church-buys-33-million-in-medical-debt-for-15-thousand-canceled-it-and-then-burned-it

North Carolina church buys $3.3 million in medical debt for $15,000, cancels it, and then burns it

The Trinity Moravian Church in Winston-Salem bought $3.3 million in medical debt in their surrounding area for pennies on the dollar, roughly $15 thousand, and then canceled it, freeing their communities from oppressive debts hanging over their heads.

Then they ceremonially burned the debt. ...

The Reverend John Jackman said,

It's sort of a real-world parable of what God does for us.

Do you got any pet/s?

gabbar says

Do you got any pet/s?

I did. I did fostering for Huskies, Border Collies, Australian Shepherds and Samoyeds.

Huskies were too aloof, Border Collies and Aussies too smart, so I took in two unadoptable Samoyeds. They had problems but I adored them, I fixed their problems. One suffered from neglect another from abuse, took months to fix it.

I really loved those dogs. I was the best owner for them. I don't think anybody could have been a better owner than I was for them.

I had to put each down at 16 for each, and I can't do that again. I know I did the right thing, but it's a horrible thing to do. I was enthusiastic about doing dog rescue when I started, but when I had to put my two down, I was done. Worst thing I've ever done, and most merciful thing I've done. Euthanizing them will haunt me until my death. I know I did what had to be done, but it's not possible for me not to feel badly about it. I am glad they were in my life.

There was a lot of joy having them, but you pay a price if you actually cared for them. I had two special dogs that had bad lives before I got them, it took a great deal of effort to fix that, gave them a good and happy life, but I had to kill them in the end. It was borrowed happiness with them. I still pay for it now. They were wonderful dogs.

I don't think I will ever do it again. They were exceptional dogs, and I had more than 20 in rescue. They cannot be replaced, and it was a terrible thing I did. A natural death would have been agonizing for them, but it was a terrible thing I did. I can't do that again.

If you really care for your pets, you grieve for them eternally. It sucks they live such a short life.

richwicks says

They had problems but I adored them, I fixed their problems. One suffered from neglect another from abuse, took months to fix it.

I didn't rescue but had a neighbor growing up that pretended they did. I NEVER fucked with the dog and I think it bit me at least 5 times. We had 8 acres of land and the son of a bitch would just bite me. Wasn't playful biting as I know what that is and it was on our land. Clearly the dog was just let loose and not trained/watched at all. They felt they were doing the "good" thing. They ended up getting alpacas as well. Extremely strange family

I'm done with dogs as well. I was there for my first family dog getting put down at 5. I personally did our 2nd family dog solo at age 17. Yeah that doesn't fuck a kid up. One of many things I hated my dad for. Then my wife and our 2 dogs which the most recent being last year.

Biggest fight I ever got in with my wife. Not about the dog. We had scheduled it a week out for in house and she said her calendar was clear. Nope. Out with clients that are 100% sales annually as I sit their for 2 hours knowing she knows what's about to happen. It was 2 hours of tourture to see your dog in misery. I ripped into her pretty bad. First you don't leave someone waiting two hours as a professional for the woman doing the euthanasia and then me sitting there looking at the dog. She was avoiding the situation. She had never been there for that before, so if I'm being honest I think she was drinking to kind of numb herself. I had been too... shhhhhhhhhh.

So Rich and myself clearly ignored the OP title and went straight to death and bad things. Lol. I know Rich loved his dogs and I did mine, but it's hard taking any life and then you talk about dogs but don't currently have one yourself (myself). I won't for the foreseeable future. So my go to for whatever reason is negative. Dogs can be very uplifted depending how they connect with you. I just can't do the cycle again. Maybe once we're empty nesters and a companion would be nice. We'll see. Probably 10-15 years off.

WookieMan says

So Rich and myself clearly ignored the OP title and went straight to death and bad things. Lol. I know Rich loved his dogs and I did mine, but it's hard taking any life and then you talk about dogs but don't currently have one yourself (myself). I won't for the foreseeable future. So my go to for whatever reason is negative. Dogs can be very uplifted depending how they connect with you.

They were awesome to have. I had the best two out of over 20. I had the best dogs.

It's a terrible thing, but you get a messed up screwed up dog by some asshole, you turn that around, and they are just that much better. They were bitter, resentful, frightened animals when I got them, after a few months, they thought they had left hell and entered heaven, because I protected them from any bad experience. It was definitely worth it.

richwicks says

It's a terrible thing, but you get a messed up screwed up dog by some asshole, you turn that around, and they are just that much better. They were bitter, resentful, frightened animals when I got them, after a few months, they thought they had left hell and entered heaven, because I protected them from any bad experience. It was definitely worth it.

I was hanging with 2 rescue dogs last today(ish) and Saturday night. Really cool dogs. This girl that does it is really active in it. I don't know if it's a state thing or county level but she had the ability to look up rescue dogs on an app or something. She was talking to people and said they have X breeds in X county. I'm like WTF that's cool.

I'm gonna stick to hanging with other people's dogs for now though. I have enough friends with 2-4 dogs in one house so I get my dog time. I'm an ass hole, but usually end up with the dog(s) sleeping in my lap. Dogs for some reason like me. Not an ego thing, just an observation. Might be my anxiety and dogs feeling it (not me towards them at all). It's like hey John Doe, calm the fuck down. I'm here for you. I do miss that. Our first dog as a couple would sleep on my back at night. Chewy. Partly the reason for my username here. And I once had a mean Chewbacca growl, but vocal cords are now damaged and can no longer do it.

Yelling and younger years smoking didn't help me at all. Don't smoke folks. Fortunately I think I'm past year 7 now smoke free. No one really does it anymore so the social aspect of it went away. That was my crutch as an introvert to conversation.

Eric Holder says

Only the vaxx? LOL

The Killing Fields are Capitalist Lies! Pol Pot dindu nuttin wrong!

WookieMan says

Our first dog as a couple would sleep on my back at night. Chewy.

Kelsey used to do that. He'd settle down on the small of my back and drape is rear legs on either of my sides, and his front feed on either side of my neck, and just pass out.

I'd wake up with chest pains, but can't say it wasn't adorable and comfortable. He about 40 lbs.

AmericanKulak says

Eric Holder says

Only the vaxx? LOL

The Killing Fields are Capitalist Lies! Pol Pot dindu nuttin wrong!

The US supported Pol Pot. So of course he did nothing wrong since ghosh forid, the US government can't do any wrong.

If the US didn't support the Khmer Rouge, maybe 2 billion Cambodians wouldn't have died an early death. The US is doing this now in Ukraine. I bet the Ukrainian death toll is like 1 million.

richwicks says

f the US didn't support the Khmer Rouge, maybe 2 billion Cambodians wouldn't have died an early death. The US is doing this now in Ukraine. I bet the Ukrainian death toll is like 1 million.

Did US support Khmer Rouge? If so, then how is it different from supporting Hitler or any other monster?
Human species when seeking power is a piece of shite.
Destruction of Ukraine is by design. How is 1 million death not a genocide (if 200k is a holocaust)?This area will become defacto US colony. Colonization hasn't gone away, it has morphed.

richwicks says

The US supported Pol Pot. So of course he did nothing wrong since ghosh forid, the US government can't do any wrong.

The US not only helped to create conditions that brought Cambodia's Khmer Rouge to power in 1975, but actively supported the genocidal force, politically and financially. By January 1980, the US was secretly funding Pol Pot's exiled forces on the Thai border. The extent of this support -- $85 million from 1980-86 -- was revealed 6 years later in correspondence between congressional lawyer Jonathan Winer, then counsel to Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and the Vietnam Veterans of America Foundation."

Source: https://msuweb.montclair.edu/~furrg/pol/polpotmontclarion0498.html

The US did have "advisors" on the ground in Cambodia, but they supported the government, not the Communists. Part of the domino bullshit. The bigger problem with the US in Cambodia from the air. Dropped a shit ton of bombs on a country we knew nothing about.

NuttBoxer says

Dropped a shit ton of bombs on a country we knew nothing about.

Cha ching

The US supported Prince Sukhonut or whatever his name was.

There may have been a time where the US was cheering Pol Pot on when he attempted some revanchism on newly reunited Communist Vietnam (at one time large slices of South Vietnam were under Cambodian rulers), but the Vietnamese knew the Khmer Rogue were under the CCP's control, and didn't want to have China in the North with a Chinese Client in the West (Cambodia).

The Vietnamese and China fought a war in 1979, and it wasn't a few shells lobbed over the border. In just a few weeks, each side suffered a little less than the total KIA of the US in years in Vietnam. The CCP went to war to "Spank the naughty child" over Vietnamese intervention in Cambodia to slap Pol Pot back down, over the Spratleys, and allegedly to protect "Ethnic minorities" - quite a few tribes defected to China during the Vietnam War era. Oh, and to show the Vietnamese that the USSR couldn't prevent them from taking territory if China wanted to.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sino-Vietnamese_War

Although the consensus is the CCP got a far bigger drubbing than they expected. No surprise there, the Vietnamese had lots of US Equipment and far, far more recent and extensive experience in combat.

gabbar says

Did US support Khmer Rouge? If so, then how is it different from supporting Hitler or any other monster?

Yes, the US supported it because they opposed the Vietcong.

Our government has no morality, but you may have it.

There is no morality in war, ever.

If only people knew, this bloodshed would end. More people know now than they ever did, which is why the Syrian war was subdued, and we don't have troops in Ukraine (officially) now.

The reason enlistment in the military is down, is because even children are learning. Now they have to recruit the mentally ill, lunatics.

I believe in a strong defense, but not for this criminal government. If we can't reform it, it must be destroyed. We cannot build a nation that depends on continual war, and that's what we are doing. It must end. War is nothing more than state sanctioned murder. How can we survive as a nation on that alone? It's been 20 years that we've allowed our criminal government to destroy us, how many more years can we go on?

The Khmer Rouge were supported by CHYna.
The Vietnamese and their puppet government in Cambodia "People's Republic of Kampuchea" were supported by the USSR.

The "Coalition Government of Democratic Kampuchea" a government in exile consisting of the Khmer Rouge (Maoist), the KPNLF (Nonaligned but Liberal), and FUNCINPEC (Royalist/Nationalist) to resist Vietnam's invasion and puppet regime was put together by the great Singapore Perma-President, Lee Kwan Yue, and the US supported both FUNCINPEC and KPNLF and the CGDK, but not the Khmer Rouge, at least not directly.

Is it possible the US gave satellite photos to the Khmer Rouge to ambush Vietnamese troops? Probably. Did the US aid the genocide? No, the Killing Fields were over before the Coalition Government was created in 1982, and the US only materially supported KPNLF and FUNCINPEC.

The Killing Fields ended by 1979 with the invasion by Vietnam of Cambodia, in response to occupation of Vietnamese territory by Khmer Rouge Revanchists (and because Vietnam did not want a filthy Chinese-backed regime for a Western neighbor when they had China on their Northern Border)

Interesting, I read that when Deng Xiaoping told Carter he was going to invade Vietnam, he took Carter's answer for tacit approval. Although now with Biden, Carter is no longer the worst President.