patrick.net
An Antidote to Corporate Media
1,260,054 comments by 15,047 users - DOGEWontAmountToShit, goofus, Patrick, The_Deplorable online now
How to Launder Dirty Money with e-commerce.
invite response
2024 Mar 12, 7:27am 198 views 4 comments
Comments 1 - 4 of 4 Search these comments
1
Robber Baron Elite Scum
2024 Mar 12, 7:37am
Robber Baron Elite Scum
2024 Mar 12, 7:37am
What mentioned is the most clever and undetectable way to launder money.
Don’t drive a fancy car or live in a fancy house even after laundering money and paying your full taxes.
Sometimes even legitimate people who are doing nothing illegal and always paid their full taxes get audited simply because they have a lot of assets in display.
People get jealous and often times even report legitimate people doing nothing wrong.
Keep a very low profile. Don’t flaunt any wealth on social media or anywhere else.
Try not to go to your bank in person either if you look like a criminal or have gang tattoos.
If you must go, look like a wimpy goody two shoes nerd who is very likely legit seeming.
Don’t seem shady in any way is what I am trying to say.
Banks don’t only report large cash transactions. They report people simply for looking suspect or shady because of tattoos for example. Again seem like a nerd wearing glasses and a suit.
And never ever go to a bank smelling like marijuana, especially if you are depositing any amount of cash.
Don’t drive a fancy car or live in a fancy house even after laundering money and paying your full taxes.
Sometimes even legitimate people who are doing nothing illegal and always paid their full taxes get audited simply because they have a lot of assets in display.
People get jealous and often times even report legitimate people doing nothing wrong.
Keep a very low profile. Don’t flaunt any wealth on social media or anywhere else.
Try not to go to your bank in person either if you look like a criminal or have gang tattoos.
If you must go, look like a wimpy goody two shoes nerd who is very likely legit seeming.
Don’t seem shady in any way is what I am trying to say.
Banks don’t only report large cash transactions. They report people simply for looking suspect or shady because of tattoos for example. Again seem like a nerd wearing glasses and a suit.
And never ever go to a bank smelling like marijuana, especially if you are depositing any amount of cash.
3
fdhfoiehfeoi
2024 Mar 12, 1:03pm
fdhfoiehfeoi
2024 Mar 12, 1:03pm
There's more than a few problems with this model. Are you using the internet at an address where you have connected any your personal information, especially your ISP bill? Are you using a legit privacy focused VPN or garbage like Express VPN?
Now on the cards. Thanks to the Domestic Spying Act(aka Patriot Act), most gift cards require you to identify yourself. Vanilla is the ONLY one I know of that does not. And Vanilla gift cards as of this year stopped being accepted by most payment processing services. I'd bet you your dirty money that squareup won't take them anymore. People who buy gift cards don't generally buy them for odd amounts. If you picked some really weird amount that could actually raise suspicion. And depending on how much you're talking, the manpower required to carry this out makes it unfeasible.
Bitcoin would work much better, or something more technical like those guys who siphoned money off through SE Asian casinos.
Now on the cards. Thanks to the Domestic Spying Act(aka Patriot Act), most gift cards require you to identify yourself. Vanilla is the ONLY one I know of that does not. And Vanilla gift cards as of this year stopped being accepted by most payment processing services. I'd bet you your dirty money that squareup won't take them anymore. People who buy gift cards don't generally buy them for odd amounts. If you picked some really weird amount that could actually raise suspicion. And depending on how much you're talking, the manpower required to carry this out makes it unfeasible.
Bitcoin would work much better, or something more technical like those guys who siphoned money off through SE Asian casinos.
4
PeopleUnited
2024 Mar 13, 5:54am
PeopleUnited
2024 Mar 13, 5:54am
If your money is “dirty”, you're doing it wrong bub. Hire a lobbyist and a PR team like the rest of the successful cabals do.
Step 2 - sign up to squareup.com. Set up website hosting and connect your domain. Set up the payment processor they have for usage on your website to accept payments by credit and debit cards along with prepaid cards. Design the website, make it look legit and presentable. Basic but presentable and not selling anything illegal.
Step 3 - Open a business checking account and tell the compliance department of the bank that you sell items on your website online and accept payments via squareup.com. Connect this bank account as the payout option including the business debit they give you for instant cashouts for any sales you make.
Step 4 -take the dirty cash to retailers that sell gifts cards from Mastercard, visa and American Express. These gift cards can be used like a credit card anywhere. No id verification is required. No social. Nothing.
Load each card up with different varying amounts. Buy all three in equal numbers (American Express, Mastercard and visa)
Don’t buy too many of the gift cards at a retailer as that can arise suspicion and sometimes they will call the police on you. Don’t load too much cash either, you don’t need to anyway and it will not help if one card has too much balance as you will see later. Make sure again that the amounts are varying on each different cards to make your transactions on square up.com seem like legitimate sales from real customers.
Step 5 - Go home once acquiring a bunch of the cards. Go on your laptop. Connect to a vpn. Than use tor browser. Update the billing address of the gift card you are about to use with a false fake billing address, name and phone number. Find random addresses on Google quickly. Buy cheap fake bot visits online to your website to make it seem like it is having traffic to square up.com so it seems legit. Go to your e-commerce website and process your own gift card with the fake name, fake address and phone number. Basically purchase from your own e-commerce website by ringing up fake sales from fake nonexistent customers.
Repeat the process again but makes sure you close your tor connection first and than disconnect your vpn. Start a new vpn connection and start a new tor session.
Check the online bot visits to your website. Wait for a while to have it seem like a bunch of visitors are visiting the website.
For each sale, pick random times to wait varying each time and random amount of different clicks before making any sale to make it seem legit and real.
Than process another sale again with a different gift card in a different random amount with different random products using a different fake name, billing address and phone number than the previous bogus sale you made.
Price your products in a way where only a few dollars are left on each gift card. Have multiple products at different price points to achieve this to reduce your loss of funds and inefficiency.
Repeat this process with ALL the steps mentioned as much as you need for the amount you are trying to launder.
Organized criminal groups are using e-commerce with credit card gift cards loaded with dirty cash to process bogus sales on their front business which is a e-commerce website.
There is no trace who owns the cards and where the funds came from and how they were loaded up.
Money will be available in a few short minutes for instant cash out on your square up.com account to your business debit card or you can wait a day to receive a bank transfer to your business account.
Neither the payment processor squareup.com will be suspicious nor will the bank be suspicious at all.
Make sure you pay any taxes to avoid being audited and discovered.
Don’t do two illegal things at once. Very often criminals launder money from illicit activities in a very clever way but their plot is discovered by the IRS when they fail to pay taxes and get audited.
If you get audited your money laundering will very likely be discovered. Something will seem off especially if you do not have all the receipts of shipping products, cost purchase of products from suppliers that you are supposedly selling.
If you pay any and all taxes including any sales taxes, you seem legit to the government.
Give the government their cut. Don’t again launder money into a front business and than fail to pay taxes on it. You will be audited sooner or later and they will discover something is off when they ask for your expense receipts