« First « Previous Comments 285 - 324 of 763 Next » Last » Search these comments
They had the gunman's mother tied up with barbwire in a bathtub full of water with a generator on a timer attached to it. If he didn't pull the trigger by a certain time the generator would power up and electrocute his mom.
As Trump was being led away the real assassin killed Trump with the help of the SS detail and now the secret government has a plant taking Trumps place. How do they pull the switcheroo you ask? Plastic surgery, they gave their guy plastic surgery to look just like Trump.
According to unofficial reports, President Trump promptly arrived for his 9:00am tee time yesterday morning, despite being 78 years old, despite being shot the night before, and despite the inexplicable mystery of how Jeffrey Toobin is still working at CNN. (But I digress.) After golfing, Trump boarded a plane and flew to Milwaukee to attend the Republican National Convention. So, it is now undeniable that President Trump is tough. Allow me a quick moment to point out some other Trumpian qualities.
Trump has unmatched business skills. He might be the greatest problem-solving entrepreneur American has yet conceived. As evidence, they tried to sue the former President into a bottomless pit of bankruptcy oblivion with a massive, unpayable, history-making civil fine arising from a 30-year-old novel legal theory of defamation. So Trump created a new social media platform, took it public, and paid the fine — an unprecedented maneuver that was even more impressive and historic than the fine. Problem solved.
The former President also has an unmatched strategic mind. They tried to throw him in jail for over a hundred years on a creatively prosecuted witch hunt over the way his bookeeper coded a few legal expenses in Quickbooks. So Trump took an entirely different case to the Supreme Court, and got one of the most historic high court decisions, a decision that changed the nature of the Presidency itself. That decision probably solved his jail problem.
And most indefinably, he’s lucky. When all else failed, they tried to kill him, starving his Secret Service detail of resources just before the shooter struck. Trump turned his head at precisely the right second and survived with a graze (although a bystander wasn’t so fortunate).
At this perilous time in world history, with World War III looming, with the economy in free fall, and with the dollar on the international chopping block, what sane person wouldn’t want the country’s best business mind, most strategic thinker, top problem solver, and let’s be honest, luckiest man alive? How, absent profound mental illness, could anyone prefer a guy whose idea of problem-solving is calling Ukraine’s martial law leader “President Putin?”
Ceffer says
Half-Indigenous, Abnormalitive, Left-handed Doofus midget lesbians
I saw a red vehicle with a bumper sticker that said fuck trump..
I had to take a picture.
Anyone seeing this should report it... and describe the person.
Im pissed about seeing this.
Anyone seeing this should report it... and describe the person.
Im pissed about seeing this.
Joetheplumber says
Anyone seeing this should report it... and describe the person.
Im pissed about seeing this.
Report what? Someone exercising their First Amendment rights with the most hidden bumper sticker I have ever seen on my life?
« First « Previous Comments 285 - 324 of 763 Next » Last » Search these comments
Verifying and getting more info
WOUNDED: