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Patrick.net Homebuyer Facing Starvation!


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2007 Jul 14, 10:56am   10,892 views  54 comments

by HARM   ➕follow (0)   💰tip   ignore  

Due to privacy & security concerns, I am unable to show you an actual street-front photo of Surfer-X's used house, so a 6-year-old nephew obliged with an artist's conception:

Friends,

I attended Surfer-X's housewarming party last Saturday, and I'm sorry to say he is but a shell of his former self. His crushing house payments have clearly forced him to the brink of starvation, as can be seen from his dramatic weight loss (compare to previous blog party photo).

He barely had the strength to pose for this one photo, before collapsing from exhaustion (but not before imbibing a tasty margarita or two). This poor man was clearly arm-twisted into buying a horrendously well maintained house that the local Realtorâ„¢ insists did NOT sell for nearly 30% below market comps (and I'd better keep my mouth shut about that or the neighbors'll get angry).

So, this is what our once mighty and proud Surfer-X has been reduced to, folks. He is now a (*gasp*) used homeowner! Can't you see the deep sadness and buyer's remorse written all over his face? The whole time I was there, he could barely muster enough spirit to produce a brief rant about f@%ing Boomers, in between noxious mouthfuls of barbecued chicken (probably supplied by the local food bank).

A very sorry state of affairs, indeed. We must keep him in our hearts and prayers.
HARM

#housing

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1   ak268   2007 Jul 14, 11:57am  

I got a letter some days back from Donald T. It is an invitation to attend an event on the "booming foreclosure market". Maybe some of you will be getting a like invitation soon.

I for one do not believe that "insider information" on the booming foreclosure market will bring me to any good end. Donald T. is an ultra boomer. He is likely to abound in "wealth creation" for himself, but not me.

2   HARM   2007 Jul 14, 12:17pm  

ak,

Yup - John T Reed has done many excellent exposes on most of these "instant millionaire" bullshit artists, most notably Robert Kiyosaki (is it any wonder he's Casey Serin's hero?). Same could be said for any get-rich-quick MLM/pyramid scam sold to the general public. If it's such a sure-fire money-maker, then why aren't YOU doing it instead of selling me your "secret" for 10 easy payments of $499.95?

About the only good thing I have to say about those guys is they mostly prey on the willfully greedy and stupid. That puts them a notch above scumbag parasites that prey on the elderly with "equity stripping" and similar scams.

3   Randy H   2007 Jul 14, 2:08pm  

Either I need to open the single-malt or that shirt X is wearing is making me dyslexic.

I palindrome I

4   DennisN   2007 Jul 14, 2:29pm  

How come this particular thread attracted the following Ads by Google: "Euthanasia ProCon.org" and "Was Kevorkian right?"

You can only get rich in the long run. I made a 4 HAHA profit in real estate by living in it for 25 years. Surfer-X can too, with a side benefit of paying FICA on my behalf. A rising tide raises all boats!

5   HARM   2007 Jul 14, 5:49pm  

Randy & Eliza,

I just posted a (somewhat rambling) reply to your points re: rent vs. buy on the last thread.

6   Peter P   2007 Jul 14, 6:45pm  

Nice to "see" you guys again. :)

7   HelloKitty   2007 Jul 14, 8:10pm  

i just parked IamFacingStarvation.com so I can resell it for huuuuuge profitz.

let the bidding begin.

8   Different Sean   2007 Jul 14, 8:14pm  

There could well be a booming foreclosure market about to happen -- is it worth trying to 'capitalise' on it? 'Buy in gloom, sell in boom'? Or are you going to be catching a falling knife? Or we simply can't be assed trying to make money out of other people's misfortune by hustling on the courthouse steps?

Casey S. would have been well advised to try this strategy from the guru's playbook at this point in the market, rather than being the foreclosee who bought at the top...

Is Donald T. Donald Trump, by the way? Seems a bit beneath his style...

9   Different Sean   2007 Jul 14, 8:15pm  

HARM Says:
I just posted a (somewhat rambling) reply to your points re: rent vs. buy on the last thread.

so did I...

10   HelloKitty   2007 Jul 14, 8:26pm  

trump is all over the seminar circuit

http://www.trumpuniversity.com/programs/rem/index.cfm

crazy huh. i think other gurus pay him to use his name on thier products/classes/programs and even to put his name on thier high rise condo.

he is the slickest of them all.

11   Different Sean   2007 Jul 14, 9:39pm  

hmm, right. john t. reed also has a review of donald trump, and separate, less than glowing reviews of the trump/ross books, which imply particularly that it's pretty hard to downscale advice from high-end NYC property developments to low-end residential real estate deals... which would cast some doubt on trump university courses also, unless he is just lending his name to the institution and not his personal expertise...

12   HelloKitty   2007 Jul 14, 9:53pm  

Yes I like Reed a whole lot. There are very few honest books/advice out there. Also he isnt afraid of being sued by the crooks and has defended himself in on his own - hes no coward.

I must say that reading Reeds books will take the air out of any enthusiasm one has to invest in RE of any type. He recommends 10% cap rate is minimum. That hasnt been seen in CA in 10 years probably(8 years?) and it may be that long until it comes back, if ever.

13   Different Sean   2007 Jul 14, 10:13pm  

a similar character in Oz is Neil Jenman at www.jenman.com.au -- also been sued by gurus, his website is a 'little' more polished than john's, and scope is much larger...

14   danville woman   2007 Jul 15, 3:55am  

John Reed is the other extreme - the perpetual bear.

15   SQT57   2007 Jul 15, 4:20am  

Looking good Mr. X. and Mr. Harm.

16   PermaRenter   2007 Jul 15, 9:30am  

Glad to see that Surfer-X finally bought! I hope monthly payments are manageable ...

17   surfer-x   2007 Jul 15, 11:47am  

Dear PR, yes, "manageable". Totally doable without to much soul crushing. No other debt, so all it well. Our house puts the "bung" in bungalow.

18   anonymous   2007 Jul 15, 12:57pm  

*unlurks*

*evil TOLurker mode*

*mock-anger* *waggle finger* Surfer-X you are most abso-f*cking-lutely anti-boomer. What? No debt other than your mortgage? AND the mortgage is manageable and not soul-crushing? WTF? You're supposed to be crushed under your house...Wicked witch of the East-style!!!! Now hurry up and get a second mortgage to renovate that crib of yours! Now that you've gone to the dark side, we EXPECT you to flame out financially in 12 months. 3 if you extract all your equity right now!!

(Ah well, the most we can expect for other FBs is that they eat ramen but I often think that should make you fat not thin since it's fried starch)

*pouts* how come HARM was invited and not me? Unless it's the 7/7/7 party for which I was way out in east-east-east (meaning the Cdn. province of Newfoundland?) Every blog party needs an obnoxious foreigner...moi!

*end evil TOLurker mode* *relurks*

19   anonymous   2007 Jul 15, 1:12pm  

*unlurks*

How do I change my password for this login-to-Patrick.net thingy? I can't figure it out

"Good" TOLurker sadly has nothing to contribute to Bay-Area related topics but happily obliges reading all threads, making sometimes on-topic posts and occasionally hijacking threads. By the time I want to comment on something though (like DinOR's interesting situation, SQT's parents or just the absence of old favourites like SFWoman, WW2/SHTF/Nomadtoons2) the thread has already carried on.

I propose a new topic that we don't have do right away if summer is too slow for a nice long thread. Now that Conrad Black has been convicted of fraud and obstruction-of-justice in story that's plastered on every newspaper in Canada (but probably none in the U.S.) I want heaping quantities of SCHADENFREUDE: "What are you doing while FB's boil in financial oblivion?" Yes, while all the FB's (fucked borrowers, fucked boomers) and FH's (fake homeowners) are boiling in financial oblivion tell us stories of how you're enjoying life to fullest (with or without reference to FBs) BECAUSE you're not crushed with overleverage. For example Astrid, Peter P and me could have a discussion on what kitchen knife I should buy next with the money burning a hole in my pocket.

OK, somewhat on-topic... Tsusiat if you're still there has anyone you know become a recent used homeowner in Vancouver and are they looking thin like Surfer-X? Damn yuppy-homebuying Torontonians are stilll looking fat and happy and still condo-crazy; I can't believe someone would pay $600K for a 2-bedroom pseudo-loft when they could get a somewhat central house with land, and that significant numbers of people actually have $600K (or access to it) to buy said house (OR loft!) Of course I"m sure that still sounds cheap to Vancouverites or Bay-Area buddies lurking here.

*relurks*

20   surfer-x   2007 Jul 15, 1:33pm  

操你祖宗十八代

21   astrid   2007 Jul 15, 1:53pm  

I've moved on to a slightly more expensive fetish interest - dSLR cameras, where people describe $450 lenses as "cheap" with a straight face.

Surfer-X. I think that's a bit easier said than done.

22   astrid   2007 Jul 15, 1:56pm  

It's too bad that we can't arrange a similar trial and conviction for a certain wealthy Australian married to a striking Chinese wife half his age.

23   e   2007 Jul 15, 5:27pm  

I though this might crack some people up.

The person who posted this comment also posted the comment immediately preceding it:

http://www.burbed.com/2007/05/29/mountain-view-surenos-gang-uses-blue/#comment-8844

This guy has a future career as Realtor(TM).

24   HARM   2007 Jul 15, 5:46pm  

@SQT --thanks.

@Peter P --I would like to come up to NCAL for the next gathering, so I can finally meet all the others in person (esp. Patrick, Randy & SQT).

@TOLurker --Sorry, but this turned out to be more of a small, private housewarming affair, than a genuine blog party --and yes, it was on 7/7/7. Don't worry, I'm sure there will be others.

25   Different Sean   2007 Jul 15, 7:10pm  

Wha'? 18 generations?

What's wrong with one guy whose own kids even hate him owning half the influential media of the US, UK and Oz in TV, radio and newspapers through a program of aggressive acquisition and tax avoidance anyhow?

26   Boston Transplant   2007 Jul 15, 11:44pm  

I have a couple questions some people on the board may have answers to…sorry if it’s off topic, but the board seems a bit quiet.

1. I know Zillow has been much discussed and sometimes maligned on this board. I know its algorithm doesn’t take into account many subtleties. However, my question is whether you believe it for overall pricing trends over time for a given home (assuming there was not a major remodel or other changes). For example, this home in Cambridge, MA seems close to its 2003 price after peaking in 2005:

http://www.zillow.com/Charts.htm?chartDuration=10years&zpid=56441810

I ask because here in Boston, the town of Cambridge (and the Harvard area in particular) is considered “prime” and therefore subject to inevitable price rises. And judging from *median* prices one might believe this to be the case, though Zillow tells a different story. So my question really is, if Zillow shows every house in an area declining by 10% to 15%, do you believe it, even if median numbers imply no price decline?

27   Boston Transplant   2007 Jul 15, 11:44pm  

2. Secondly, what do you think of the rent vs. buy on this Palo Alto home?
Zillow shows homes on the street in the $1M to $1.3M range. Rent is $3300/month per this listing…

http://s166.photobucket.com/albums/u96/puffinludwig656/

Mackay Drive, Palo Alto

Newly remodeled, furnished three bedrooms and two bathroom house Palo Alto House for Rent - $3,300 per month (one master bedroom and bathroom, 2 bedrooms will share a bathroom)

Move in September 1st. Just remodeled!

Deposit: one month rent. No pets ,12 months lease

Amenities : fully furnished, newly remodeled house, TV, DVD Player, High
speed internet, microwave, linen , kitchen flatware, new kitchen cabinets
with granite counter top, also new kitchen tile floor, new light fixtures
and garbage disposal , new marble fireplace, new hardwood floor, two new
bathrooms with granite counter top and new sinks, bath and toilets. There is a very large fenced (new) backyard with a lot of fruit trees. House is on a lot that is over 8000 square feet. All the windows in the house are new.
Washer and dryer, refrigerator , stove and also yard maintenance provided, two car garage

Nearby convenience: major shopping mall just 2 minutes away, train station and freeway 101 near by, but in a very quiet, treely neighbourhood.

28   Boston Transplant   2007 Jul 15, 11:45pm  

(moderator: I broke my post into two, so you can delete the post waiting in moderation...thanks)

29   DinOR   2007 Jul 16, 2:25am  

"puts the "bung" in bungalow"

Oh I hear ya'. We didn't even bother having a "house warming" party. (It felt more like a wake). What's odd was all of the "congrats" like we were a couple "not married in the eyes of The Lord" finally making it... "official"? Dude, I'm paying TWICE what it (had) cost me to rent the exact same place! Oh, not counting the add'l $150 in HOA's.

As Randy H will well attest, bubble-sitting isn't easy. Not by a long-shot. Fearful, trembling "landlords" Zillowing away in some twisted attempt to try and "time" the market. Gotta' love that.

While I'm complaining... it has been DREADFUL in OR! After our near permanent "wet spring" (where I finally 'got some sun' FOR the wedding AT the wedding) it has been the style of muggy mid-westerners move out here to get away from? We were at an outdoor party Saturday night and after we ate I felt (and I'm not kidding here) like passing out. I looked over and Mrs. DinOR didn't seem to be faring much better.

We've reached some sort of tipping point climate-wise in OR and it doesn't look good? In the 20 some odd years I've lived here it's NEVER been this humid, this late! Weird...

30   HARM   2007 Jul 16, 3:33am  

This one's for Sir Randall, Esq. Posted on Ben Jones's blog over the weekend:
(yes, it refers to FL, not NCal, but same principal holds true whereever there is overbuilding and rampant speculation on margin)

http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20070715/REALESTATE/707150625

The homes that are on the market, or soon will be, represent a 4.7-year supply given the current pace of sales.

That is way beyond the four to six months of inventory considered normal in any market.

...“Ray Martin, spent nearly $740,000 buying six homes in North Port three years ago, is in a different predicament. He was able to sell one at a $100,000 profit before the boom ended, but is still sitting on the other five and paying interest on nearly $500,000 in loans.”

“‘We’ve come way down on price,’ Martin said. ‘We’re just about where we were three years ago, and I don’t see any upswing.’”

“In the meantime, he is trying to rent the houses to cover his expenses. But rents have also plunged. ‘I have one house on a deep water canal that I’m renting for $895, and I used to get $1,100. The others I used to rent for $1,000 and I’m now getting only $800."

Tiny violins, anyone?

31   HARM   2007 Jul 16, 4:00am  

What’s odd was all of the “congrats” like we were a couple “not married in the eyes of The Lord” finally making it… “official”?

LOL. I remember one of the regulars here (Muggy, Brand?) had posted his experience with moving into a McFlippertown development as a renter, then being greeted by the new neighbors. Once they found out he didn't "own" the place, an expression of horror washed over their faces and they practically tucked tail, turned and ran back home. As though renting was the Plague and they might 'catch' it.

Real estate has truly become a religion. It's part Cargoism, part Caste-system, with a generous dash of 'Prosperity Gospel' thrown in. Here's the general break-down:

Brahmins: Fed, Wall Street banksters, Lereah/Yun/LAY, Trump, Robert G. Allen, etc.
Kshatriya: Realtors(tm), rank'n'file NAR/MLS members, Congress, REIC lobbyists.
Vaisya: Garden-variety specuvestors, flippers, mortgage brokers, appraisers.
Sudra: The great mass of falling-knife catching, Kool-aid drinking, seminar-attending Sheeple.
Untouchables: Renters, savers and RE bears.

32   HARM   2007 Jul 16, 4:04am  

Speak of the devil, and he magically appears:

http://www.pennlive.com/business/patriotnews/index.ssf?/base/business/1184369127167280.xml&coll=1

In 2004, James Dailey and his wife were renting and not looking for a house to buy. At parties, he said, people would look at them "like we were weird."

33   DennisN   2007 Jul 16, 4:17am  

"While I’m complaining… it has been DREADFUL in OR! "

This has been a rotten July in Idaho too. The entire upper Rockies has been in a terrible heat wave since late June - over 100 degrees every single day. This has broken records dating back to the 1930's. At least here the humidity stays in the 20-30% range.

34   DinOR   2007 Jul 16, 4:41am  

DennisN,

After a few days in Vegas (near record breaking heat) it didn't seem all that bad? Very low humidity. On the drive back we had lunch in Hawthorne, NV (S.E of Reno) and it was still fine. By the time we got a room in Lakeview, OR although it was much cooler, the humidity must have been like 80+%! It'll take the fight right out of you.

35   DinOR   2007 Jul 16, 4:48am  

@HARM,

Also notice there is almost zilch mobility between each caste. Although there may be several break-downs within each caste, those of the lower caste are required to always refer to members of a higher caste with deep respect even in private (lest the prosperity gods be listening).

36   EBGuy   2007 Jul 16, 4:54am  

HARM says: (yes, it refers to FL, not NCal, but same principal holds true whereever there is overbuilding and rampant speculation on margin)
Since you are from down south you may not know about the hot tub moratorium in Marin. Since it is very hard to get a hot tub permit, few homes are being built in the area. Rumor has it that the jacuzzi permitting process is controlled by a cabal of RE brokers who deal exclusively in pocket listings.

There is a good writeup on Socketsite in today's Chronicle. I know we covered this a while back, but this crash is really going to be some sort of tipping point for newspapers. They lose their last stream of advertising dollars from the REIC and at the same time peope realize their are more "credible" sources for RE news in the (moderated) blogosphere.
PS - I too am concerned about Surfer-Xs weight loss. As a homedebtor, it is clear to me that he can now no longer afford $27/lb cheese.

37   HARM   2007 Jul 16, 5:00am  

those of the lower caste are required to always refer to members of a higher caste with deep respect even in private (lest the prosperity gods be listening).

I'll have to remember that the next time I mention that bunghole Lereah ("Allah bless him and praised be his name"), or one of his new replacements.

38   skibum   2007 Jul 16, 5:36am  

OT, but there's a decent article in today's Chronicle about socketsite.com:

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/07/16/MNG9TR15PF1.DTL

I particlarly like these bits:

One of his more shocking assertions is that the real inventory of homes on the market in San Francisco is far above what is listed on the traditional clearinghouse for that information, the Multiple Listing Service. In addition to the roughly 1,100 official listings, Koval insists that there are more than 4,000 additional finished units marketed through sales offices, being presold in midconstruction, and coming online by this time next year.

"The idea is to counter some of the industry rhetoric -- like, 'it's always a good time to buy,' 'the real estate market always goes up' and 'they're not making more land,' " said Koval, a renter.

39   HARM   2007 Jul 16, 6:14am  

Notice their back-handed little dig: "said Koval, a renter."

As in renter = no credibility.

40   HeadSet   2007 Jul 16, 7:06am  

As in renter = no credibility.

Like a "rent-tard"?

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