patrick.net

Joe,
ya! how about we motorize toilets too! I imagine a new company: "Crapper on wheels", where by GPS, you can call a remote controlled 4 Wheel Drive crapper to come to you, no matter where you are; in the woods, in the back yard, or at Wal-Mart. life would be so much better!

ww2, It would be easier and cheaper to just wear adult diapers.

Skibum,
probably true, but I don't know anyone that likes the sensation of crap that diapers would cause. What about a pill that has all your daily dietary needs and is so perfect that you don't produce any waste? you'd NEVER have to use the bathroom ever again.

I like how the thread of "dream houses" has morphed into discussing the finer points of crap in your diapers. Sort of emblamatic of the bubble, I'd say.

Wait 'till the crap really does hit the fan.

Maybe HARM or Randy H can do a graphic with Benanke wearing a couple pairs of Depends strapped to his ears held on with duct tape, and call the thread something like Benanke's pooper scooper, where we can all argue about all the dirt descending from the latest housing hiccups, burps and trends.

Yeah, adult diapers, cooolllllll.....;)

On a serious note, I really like skylights. I have no idea how practical they are -- probably an insulation nighmare -- but I like them. It would be great to have one in the kitchen. A living room skylight is probably impratical, a bedroom skylight is an intriguing thought.

I would also like my own sauna. If it's expensive or too much of a pain to install it's not worth it, but if it's a cheap and easy addition, I want one. An indoor Jacuzzi tub is another good thing. No one ever seems to use the outdoor ones, but I bet the indoor versions get some use.

Gotta like those French doors that open out into the backyard. Bay windows are also a good thing, especially if you put one of those benches on them so that you can sit and read in the window.

From an impress-the-neighbors standpoint, I'm all for a circular driveway. Those things are so awesome! I'd put one in even if I had a generic POS ranch house. You can't really play basketball in them, though, so maybe the circular driveway is out.

A front porch would be cool too. I don't know that I'd actually use it, but they look cool.

The one other thing I have always wanted is a library. If I am ever super rich I will get a house with a two-story library in it, and one of those ladders that is attached to a wheeled track.

Of course, all of the books in the library would be lowbrow paperback thrillers, instead of the Great Books of Western Civilization in their original Latin, but that's okay. It'd still be a library.

Joe,
Unless your indoor jacuzzi is in a vast indoor swimming pool complex or the like, the indoor jacuzzi's I've been in tend to be too loud when the bubbles are going to be really all that enjoyable. The sauna idea is not bad, though I'd prefer a steam room. I've had the same dream of a two-storied library with rolling ladder. Then I could sit there in my smoking jacket, slippers and pipe as Jeeves gets me my scotch.

O.T., but the Dow is down another 100 pts. today on the expectation of BB making a "tough" inflation-fighting speech tonight (indicating Fed funds rate to go up another .25 on June 29th). It (and S&P) are off by 12% since last November, and Nasdaq's off by 15%.

http://tinyurl.com/hjnap

Mmmm... I can taste the panic. Yummy.
God, I wish Heli-Ben would raise it a full .50, but I think this is as likely as me getting appointed NAR spokesman.

HARM,
I agree w/ you on the hope for a 50bp hike, not to "stick it" to the masses, but because I really think this economy has a lot of shaping up to do yet. It still amazes me that Lereah and the NAR have the chutzpah to "strongly ask" the Fed to hold of on rate hikes because it could effect certain "rate sensitive" markets. I wonder if a serious stock market correction would further dampen the housing market by drying up easy money even more.

Oh man... dream home? The first thing that comes to mind is true audio/visual room. Not a living room converted into a Best Buy style "home theater". I'm talking 4 foot thick post tensioned slab under a 30x40 room with slightly rounded walls to reduce/eliminate standing waves. The room would be at least 15 feet high and facing North. Why facing North? In the Bay Area, rooms facing North don't get very hot. The sun comes from the South East and ends in the South West most of the year. I wouldn't want to air condition the room, the fan and condenser would bring unwanted noise into the environment. There would be 5 floor to ceiling windows across the side facing North so that there is plenty of light in the room. Of course I would like at least 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and a nice yard. A small lawn to cool your feet on warm summer days and a deck for BBQs.

I do like Tadao Ando Architecture, but there's too much concrete in the structures to "feel" any warmth. I don't know much about architects, so, I'd have to do research for which current architect to go with to design my ideal living space.

DinOR, there was an article about "yurts" in the sfgate.com. Here's the link. They sound facinating, but I don't think I could live in one.

http://tinyurl.com/n9t4t

On topic:

I want a stately manor befitting someone of my unsurpassed brilliance and financial acumen. Nothing short of a custom-built 50,000 sft. mansion made from the skulls of disgraced NAAVLP peddlers, flippers, Realtwhores and federal regulators (lynched by the public). My driveway can be made of solid gold paving stones pried from Marina streets, while my 20-car garage will be filled with Italian sports cars, Hummers and Escalades repossessed from above gallery of RE rogues. My manse will be staffed 24/7 by recovering f@cked borrowers, who will be required to take my 26-week "Debt does not = Wealth" deprogramming course (at their own expense, naturally).

Architectural style? I haven't given it much thought, but given that the main building component will be human skulls, I'm guessing a thick-walled adobe finish will be in order. Mediterranean, Spanish or Sante Fe would probably be most appropriate.

Is it just me, or does this bring to mind some intriguing possibilities?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13284249/from/RS.3/

Hmmm... imagine you're a delinquent FB coming home from (another) double-shift at Wal-Mart. Your key won't open the lock! Oh, that's right... you missed your last reset payment. Too bad --no house for you tonight! How much is the blood bank paying per pint these days?

HARM,
Is this what you'd like in your dream home?

http://croad.net/images/Europe/wall%20of%20skulls.jpg

My problem is that my preference changes all the time. Remember that I used to like ultra-modern houses with lots of glass? Now I dream about an updated Victorian. Perhaps a Victorian with a glass wing? :)

Do you think I’d qualify for a loan to buy the Pacific Ocean ?

You already did, HaHa co-signed for you, he makes $160K/YR total compensation. He is a very wealthy man, but he cannot afford a house.

Fuck the house, I just want a tee shirt thats says "eat your fucking house fucker", or "how's your equity" or "ask me how to make 450 out of 750"

Oh how quickly it has turned. Who's taking bets on how long before maggotassfuckermotherwhosuckscockforcrack posts the bullshit SFMLS listing for _______ over asking.

My bet is withing the next 20 posts.

I would just like to go on record saying to those fucks who thought they were super savvy because they signed loan papers FUCK YOU

HaHa, don't worry i fo not either.

SFWoman, generally i enjoy your posts, and often have thought how nice it would have been to meet you at the Top of the Mark for drinks, but madam you have descended so far into trolldom it is not even remotely humorous.

SF PRIME RE only goes up, our troll will post proof soon.

Why do you hate Amerika?

_______
Sarcasm off.

Peter P, I had a very cool model railway once... Hornby HO/OO

i knew a carpenter who bought an old concrete reservoir on a block of land from council for $4,000, then jackhammered doors and windows in it and did all the carpentry and wiring and put in a 2nd storey loft etc. turned out alright...

The one other thing I have always wanted is a library. If I am ever super rich I will get a house with a two-story library in it, and one of those ladders that is attached to a wheeled track.

Of course, all of the books in the library would be lowbrow paperback thrillers, instead of the Great Books of Western Civilization in their original Latin, but that’s okay. It’d still be a library.

I was going to say that, except mine will be filled with expositions on politics, history, and memoirs. Perhaps a few more on arts and letters. The library/study doubles as my pleasure liar to seduce my maids and friends' wives and daughters.

#1) Raised floor .. (Basement, crawl space with a rat slab, ect)

almost all new places here are slab floor for some reason. even timber floored older places usually only have a minimal crawl space of 2' or so... only 'queenslanders' in ultra hot areas are on stilts and then mostly enclosed mainly to facilitate cooling.

#2) An attic fan that blows out when attic temp reaches 100 deg.

you forgot #17) solar-powered fan -- solar panels on roof. if it's 100 deg, presumably the sun is shining mightily...

and maybe
#18) solar hot water
#19) rainwater storage tank

UNSW here developed solar cells inside clear roof tile replacements... which seemed to sink without trace - then a guy from UWS incorporated hot water & solar in 1 tile:
http://sites.uws.edu.au/uws/conferences/widevision/sebastian_braat/seb_body.htm

One thing I will not have is a media room equiped hi-fi audio and a super-duper projection TV. I understand that one can entertain guests in a media room. But, fuck it, I don't entertain that kind of guests. I doubt if I want to diddle with the women who marry the guys who enjoy a media room. But, after a few drinks, perhaps.

I need a room that has some sort of synthetic material coating the walls, impervious to astroglide, a center drain with a hose that sprays whole milk at a constant 82F, and self coiling restraints that go zipppppp back into the wall when i release my 'ho. Cuz I just cashed out and man nothing goes better with a bunch of free money than hookers and blow.

Boomer on my friend. indeed.

Oh not that I need to mention it as it is implied, a series of hidden cameras, under the bowl etc.

Yeah....

Oh Yeah My Friends, if you will it it will come.

Cuz I just cashed out and man nothing goes better with a bunch of free money than hookers and blow.

A few years ago, I read an article somewhere (an on-line magazine) that investigated the Las Vegas sex industry. An average-looking, plump, hooker in her late 20's (having had a baby) made much more than an above-average tech worker in Silicon Valley. I'd expect that they mostly enjoy their line of work (actual work). But there's danger to it, though. Pimps can be a problem.

It said much more about the slave nature of the tech industry than anything else. Fuck it. Now you have a huge influx of Chinese and Indian H-1Bs.

Unfortunately, women won't pay for sex.

uhhuhum....clears throat...this is surfer-x's wife...eww, gross, nice to know that about you honey

tsk, tsk -- SUV drivers [sigh]

this one clearly doesn't have enough money to own up and pay for the damage -- heiresses are so irresponsible when they trash ordinary people's Civics. she'll be torching the SUV next as she clearly can't afford the repayments...

Hilton flees accident

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton has been caught on camera fleeing the scene after hitting a parked car in Los Angeles, and will now have to appear in court, media reports said.

The star of reality television show The Simple Life was also filmed not wearing her seat belt as her Range Rover bumped into the Honda Civic and sped off, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.

Failing to leave contact details after an accident is an offence that can carry up to six months in prison according to California state law.

DPA

-a wood cabin on top of a hill and surrounded by high, electrified, razor-wire fences

-four tall guard towers fully stocked with rifles, HKMP5's, grenades

Did you know that P.H. went through significant face lift? The "before her" was very plain. The "after her" has well-defined cheekbones, jaw bones, and a very straight, straight nose. This whole celebrity circle is so fucked up.

At a gentleman's clothing board, I once commented that almost all celebrities (especiall movies stars) are 6-7s, rarely 9s. A member who had filmed stars and saw them upclose CONFIRMED my gut feeling. He also added that most of them were tiny.

He also added that most of them were tiny.

Nice to know, my johnson is going to look massive in paris' tiny hands.

Nice to know, my johnson is going to look massive in paris’ tiny hands.

Good for you!

Speaking of Paris and her tiny hands, someone -- I forgot if it was a woman or a man -- made a disparaging review of PH after her sex video got leaked to the net. He/She basically said that Paris, with a waif body, was utterly unappealing as a woman. I think he/she's got a good point. Without that face lift, PH is just a girl next door. You can find the before and after shots (w.r.t. face lift) on the net. Just do a google search. There is this home page that lists tons of celebrities who went through the obligatory process.

woops, I saw some earlier comments. Please delete mine on media room. It might offend some people.

Peter P, I had a very cool model railway once… Hornby HO/OO

Cool. Model railway is always fun.

GC-

You are so right. I always thought that Cindy Crawford was overrated. I mean, she was hot, don't get me wrong. But she wouldn't pass what I like to call the "supermarket test."

The "supermarket test" works like this. Imagine a purported sex symbol actress at the supermarket, without makeup, wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket.

If you saw 9 out of 10 actresses in that situation, you wouldn't pay much mind to them. You might think they were hot, but you wouldn't say, hey, there goes the most beautiful woman in the world! She should be a supermodel, on the cover of every fashion magazine!

That's Cindy Crawford for you. Very attractive, hot, but nothing special. Certainly not the #1 hottest chick on the planet.

There are others, however, who would pass the test. Kim Basinger in her prime. Andie McDowell back in the early 90's (she was HOT!) Catherine Zeta-Jones today.

Then there are women who are very average looking but, for some reason, are always hailed as sex symbols by Hollywood. Julia Roberts comes to mind here. She strikes me as a very classy lady, but in the looks department she's clearly a 6, tops. Guys would not be falling all over themselves to get their freak on with her. Another example of this is Gwyeneth Paltrow. She has looks that only appeal to other women. Dudes don't fantasize about a woman like that. PH is another example of this.

Finally, a lot of Hollywood women/models look pretty tired and used up without the makeup. I saw a Vogue magazine photo shoot one time in NYC's Union Square. The models were not at all attractive. They were like seven feet tall, but attractive, not really. They had bad skin and smoked like chimenys. Some of the other sex symbols also fall into this category.

Joe,

Thanks for the enlightenment. I don't like C. Crawford either. She looks a little grotesque to me. But that rich guy seemed to be fond of her. Perhaps it's the old age. When a man faces declining sexuality, he may overcompensate it by associating himself with an overly buxom lady. As the Delphi admonition goes, "Nothing in Excess."

Andie McDowell is very cute, in her prime years.