patrick.net

Mark D says

Peter P says

Women from developing countries do not have a sense of humor.

a man only needs 3 things from his woman:

1) good food

2) sex anytime

3) silence

A good wife is a funny soulmate.

robertoaribas says

more bullshit, I've never seen people have a better time than in the philippines. A karaoke machine and some friends, a few cheap gallons of beer, and in a no running water shack, everybody has fun.

That is not the same as a sense of humor.

They don't even get puns.

I can't respect women who see no ironies and/or parodies in life.

robertoaribas says

Even China and Russia and Vietnam all gave up on your dumbass theories of communist property rights.

Unless they are after your stuff. The extent of selective enforcement in those countries is mind-boggling.

If you don't like women in the US just head North. There is much to like aboot ladies in Canada.

robertoaribas says

You're boring and stupid.

Swearing, ad hominem attacks, and waxing about how great life is in other countries.

I never said communism and no property rights. However, you may think the use of rentier means commie. NOPE. You dont get it.

What I dont want is YOU using MY MONEY to leverage to EXPLOIT ME. Why should you take credit to buy up all the resources, basically, buy up the watering hole, and charge a toll?

If you are really daddy Warbucks, BUY the property. Rent it out, and dont try everything in your power to reduce your tax load and deny improvements to tenants to skim off the top.

The notion of property rights when if everything defaults all the paper (titles and deeds) would end up in the banks hands is hardly individual liberty.

In fact, you're benefiting from a very sophisticated version of socialized risk.

Communists are foolish ideologues. On the other side of the spectrum are the rapists. People who climb to the top by stepping on everyone on the way up, not uplifting people.

You are the same kind of person that kept Tucker (the automibile guy) down. Any threat to how your business operates, kill it. Any way possible.

Never-mind that by keeping tucker down the american car industry made itself long term noncompetitive, by pushing down innovation and change for the better to keep the status quo.

Wage slavery to overpriced housing in an economy made from disposable income is stupid. It makes it hard for people like me, people who need time to innovate, work extra hard at making the next best thing wrapped in a greedy business model for you banking types.

Cure for cancer? No, cant have that, we have to make money off of the cure before we can release it.

You remind me of this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/PUx4ZoiGgps

Stop blaming investors for all the problems. They are merely responding to the market. Besides, greed is right. Greed drives the human evolution.

Ambition is good, greed isn't.

And just to make it clear because some people don't know the difference.

ex.
Ambition: Starting your own successful company.
Greed: Your employees make minimum wage and no benefits.

you didn't start that company

Success in business/life: Doing what others cant do, doing it better/faster/cheaper/ and/or in the most desired manner.

Failure in business/life: Trading self-respect for success. Ever.

epitaph says

And just to make it clear because some people don't know the difference.

ex.

Ambition: Starting your own successful company.

Greed: Your employees make minimum wage and no benefits.

They are the same thing. You do what it takes to make your business successful. Employees can choose to work for the conditions or not.

That said, treating people well usually pays dividends. But it is a separate issue.

Bap33 says

you didn't start that company

Success in business/life: Doing what others cant do, doing it better/faster/cheaper/ and/or in the most desired manner.

Failure in business/life: Trading self-respect for success. Ever.

Very well said.

Peter P says

They are the same thing. You do what it takes to make your business successful. Employees can choose to work for the conditions or not.

That said, treating people well usually pays dividends. But it is a separate issue.

If treating people well worked then minimum wage wouldn't exist since all successful businesses would pay their employees a fair wage. This scenario is obviously far from reality. They aren't the same thing.

epitaph says

Peter P says

They are the same thing. You do what it takes to make your business successful. Employees can choose to work for the conditions or not.

That said, treating people well usually pays dividends. But it is a separate issue.

If treating people well worked then minimum wage wouldn't exist since all successful businesses would pay their employees a fair wage. This scenario is obviously far from reality. They aren't the same thing.

Yes. Abolish minimum wage!

If the natural wage ends up being lower then it is just a market reality.

And market wage is always fair.

there is no such thing as "fair" as wanted by equal out-comers. All that American freedom allows is equal chances to fail, not equal chances to succeed. People are born naked, and that is the only part that is the same and fair. Some win the DNA lottery, some win the birthplace lottery, some win the dowery lottery, and some win all three. Aint nothing fair about life other than born naked and a certian death. In America one may overcome their original delt hand, just as one may throw away a full house. It's called liberty ... freedom .... and it's really cool.

poast rhymes with toast, roast, and coast.
post should rhyme with tost, rost, and cost.

From now on, we all really should use "poast" is each post. errrr , I mean poast.

Peter P says

You do what it takes to make your business successful

There are drug dealers and pimps with more ethics. Professional gambling has more ethics the securities and equities trading and management.

Gambling is named after the activity.

Securities and Equities are named in a way that suggests that its anti-gambling.

but it is.

"Business" today is just B2B or B2C rape. Business used to be a side effect of living your life - eg, a blacksmith doing this thing, vs now, an unhappy raping consumerist trying to rape more to get more bling and pig feed from the hopper.

Rarely are people able to make a living doing what they want to do. So they pretend to be something they are not to put a rof over their head and to put food on the table.

The indians of old put up a pole and a leather hide to make shelter happen.

Now people with an education, training, know how, with knowledge many times that of that of an indian of old cant even shelter themselves in our rotten police state.

epitaph says

Ambition is good, greed isn't.

Conspicuous consumption is the motivator these days. This makes people very ambitious and greedy.

Wise words by the immortal recording artist, Kenny Rogers. All of life contains risk. Wisdom and 'life skills' are your greatest asset.

'The Gambler'

On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness
'Til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made my life out of readin' people's faces,
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice."

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Now Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
'Cause ev'ry hand's a winner and ev'ry hand's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."

So when he'd finished speakin', he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Although I didn't get cleaned out during the divorce, had the circumstances been different, I could easily have been destroyed. Until I heard those fatal words directed at me, I never worried about it too much. My reasoning for not being too concerned was that I deeply cared for my spouse. Who would leave someone that cared for them, was always there for them, and made them their #1 priority in most things? I was a naïve schoolboy that believed in the power of love. I believed that we could get through anything together as long as we stuck by one another’s side (mainly because she told me that). I was taught the single most important lesson I’ve ever learned in life. That lesson was to never trust beyond your ability to cope with betrayal’s cost.

Because divorce became such a serious topic in life, for the past couple of years, I've devoted a lot of my free time to reading other’s stories. I’ve read blog after blog by both men and women that have had their lives decimated by betrayal and deceit. What I’ve found is that the statistical and anecdotal evidence scream “think long and hard” when considering marriage. I was incredibly fortunate in how things worked out for me. From what I’ve learned, I’m the rare exception.

I’ll leave this link as a final warning to those considering marriage. I found it by Googling divorce + “destroyed my life”.

http://standingaloneinthesky.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-divorce-destroys-your-life-forever.html

Thanks for creating the thread Peter. I’ve learned something from all the participants.

I got lucky. Second wife made up for all the pain of the first. Beautiful old school and brilliant. Did not want kids. For me she is perfect. And she is Canadian.
First thing you must remember, You will never be her first priority. Her children are (or will be)

/Users/bob/Desktop/Tiffany.jpg

You guys must have been burned real bad!
I may be an exemption but I have been happily married to an american woman for 15 years and we met when we were 14 years old. We have two young kids and we still have date nights and we try to dress nice and have the butterflies. What else can one asked? Also, with tax season I realized how big interests and taxes deductions can be. Buying a new house has been the best move ever. it costs me 3000$ a month in a house that would cost easily 4500$ to rent. No brainer...

Peter P says

If you don't like women in the US just head North. There is much to like aboot ladies in Canada.

This comment is useless without pics.

Wiseman says

You will never be her first priority. Her children are (or will be)

Already pretty high on my long list of reasons not to have kids, but thanks for the reminder!

Wiseman says

I got lucky. Second wife made up for all the pain of the first. Beautiful old school and brilliant. Did not want kids. For me she is perfect. And she is Canadian.

First thing you must remember, You will never be her first priority. Her children are (or will be)

You conflate adult priorities w/ childs needs.

If you let a child be raised by television set don't be surprised if they join a gang, do drugs, or turn homosexual. Children should receive priority and guidance, but you should still make time for your relationship with your wife, just as she should make time for you.

FortWayne says

or turn homosexual.

Not sure if that was a joke or you are being serious.

zzyzzx says

Wiseman says

You will never be her first priority. Her children are (or will be)ome

Already pretty high on my long list of reasons not to have kids, but thanks for the reminder!

When a boy becomes and man, he leaves childish things behind. After all, it's only for 18 years and you are bringing up and nuturing another human being into this world, so you can put some of your needs aside and not be the center of your universe for that amount of time at least.

Wiseman says

/Users/bob/Desktop/Tiffany.jpg

lol

MsBennet says

zzyzzx says

Wiseman says

You will never be her first priority. Her children are (or will be)ome

Already pretty high on my long list of reasons not to have kids, but thanks for the reminder!

When a boy becomes and man, he leaves childish things behind. After all, it's only for 18 years and you are bringing up and nuturing another human being into this world, so you can put some of your needs aside and not be the center of your universe for that amount of time at least.

I take it you are not familiar with the boomerangs?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boomerang_Generation

MsBennet says

When a boy becomes and man, he leaves childish things behind. After all, it's
only for 18 years and you are bringing up and nuturing another human being into
this world, so you can put some of your needs aside and not be the center of
your universe for that amount of time at least.

Same for a woman. When a girl turns 18, she becomes a woman- an equal person who is responsible for herself and her decisions. Not rely on a man to take care of her for life-that is a husband, not a daddy. The laws need to change to reflect the current reality of equality.

The reality of equality may not exist in the real world. When people marry, their priorities mix. If she, or he, is a lagging spouse, moving to support their spouse's career goals, then their post-divorce options are not equal. If someone stays home with the kids for a few years, perhaps because it makes financial sense within the context of the marriage, that person will most likely make less money for the rest of their life. Women are more likely to sacrifice their career goals for family, but men sometimes do it, too. It would be utterly unfair to ignore those circumstances. If someone prioritizes family and their spouse's career, then they do really need to be compensated for what they gave up.

Many females make a career out of roosting the nest by choice. In fact, I had to pay my ex-wife with an extra allowance to incentivise her to keep working outside the family, that's on top of hiring two full-time nannies working in two shifts so she could keep a part time consulting job in her field that paid very well.

That being said, I don't find it especially objectionable to have the divorce laws somewhat tilted in favor of women: women have much shorter marketable shelf life. When a man and a woman get married in their mid to late 20's, the woman's market value on average is much higher than the man's simply due to her youth and sex appeal (another way of saying how the male population is hard wired). After 10 years of marriage, by the time of their late 30's, the woman's shelf life will have nearly expired as far as finding life time mates is concerned whereas the man is still quite marketable, perhaps even more marketable than 10 years earlier if he has made something of himself.

Back to the original poster: if you want the marriage to last, spoil her on little things but always let her know who's in charge on important decisions in your lives. Despite all the talks of gender equality, women want men whom they can look up to. It's hard to do when your ages are really close, but try to remember that she will get bored and leave you when you suplicate her too much and let her be in control of you (and yes she will try instinctively without even intentionally doing it). Haven't you noticed how many women want little puppies and kitties? They always want a new one after having had the old one for a few years. Don't become one of her house broken pets. Otherwise, you might be the nicest man in the world, but people only appreciate that which they have lost . . . that applies to woman as well as to man.

Eliza says

The reality of equality may not exist in the real world. When people marry, their priorities mix. If she, or he, is a lagging spouse, moving to support their spouse's career goals, then their post-divorce options are not equal. If someone stays home with the kids for a few years, perhaps because it makes financial sense within the context of the marriage, that person will most likely make less money for the rest of their life. Women are more likely to sacrifice their career goals for family, but men sometimes do it, too. It would be utterly unfair to ignore those circumstances. If someone prioritizes family and their spouse's career, then they do really need to be compensated for what they gave up.

Eliza says

The reality of equality may not exist in the real world. When people marry, their priorities mix. If she, or he, is a lagging spouse, moving to support their spouse's career goals, then their post-divorce options are not equal. If someone stays home with the kids for a few years, perhaps because it makes financial sense within the context of the marriage, that person will most likely make less money for the rest of their life. Women are more likely to sacrifice their career goals for family, but men sometimes do it, too. It would be utterly unfair to ignore those circumstances. If someone prioritizes family and their spouse's career, then they do really need to be compensated for what they gave up.

That is a choice. I work mostly in IT and have worked in many parts of the country. For some reason, I have had more women bosses than men-very capabale women with kids and families, who have managed to juggle everything and still rise. Yes some were divorced and remarried, others took a lower level job for a while till the kids grew up and then climbed back. If they can do it, then the ones who choose to stay at home are making a choice and should not be rewarded for that. In today's world, you have washing machines, vacuum cleaners, cars, ready made food, clothes, 24/7 electricity and maybe 1 or 2 kids. It is not like back then when you popped 13 kids, had to gather firewood, milk the cows, tend to the harvest, keep enough food stored for the winter , cook and clean and take care of all 13 kids.

You asked for equality and got it-now act like an equal. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Today's divorce and bizarre child support laws does not encourage women to be independendant. There is great dignity in working for yourself and earning your own money and contributing equally.

"First thing you must remember, You will never be her first priority. Her children are (or will be) "

In response to the above, I would suggest ANY Male considering marriage to take a long, careful look at the woman they're thinking of marrying and ask themselves the following critically important question...

Does this woman feel having children is part of our relationship together, or is our relationship (to her) part of us having children?

Just my .02

DOC

There are so many disturbed and uninformed comments in this thread that I barely know where to start.

Here's one: divorce rate for 1st marriages between 2 that are highly educated and marry later in life is fairly low. Something like 20%, though happy to see the real stat.Factor in 2 that came from intact families and it improves even more.

To me that points to more success with marriages of equals, more mature than the typical couple, and people that have evidence that marriage has ups and downs but usually works when the deck is stacked correctly.

Marriage with someone from a third world is only successful because the woman had few other options and is making the best of it.

Denying women are raped and abused at rates far greater than men smacks of fox news reporting during the election.

Because it is so hard to prove, it is rarely reported or prosecuted, especially in other countries. Haven't you been reading about India this past month?

And children need to be someone's priority after they are born. They don't raise themselves.

You want your wife to continue to treat you as her priority? You get what you give.

Denying facts doesnt make them any less true. I'm done arguing with an uneducated troll.

anon595 says

Marriage with someone from a third world is only successful because the woman
had few other options and is making the best of it.

Rubbish. Third world women have to pull their weight. Many are working and taking care of their families. Many times, their men may go off to far off lands to do physical labor, so they can bring back enough money to buy a house or land etc. Women run the show and are quite valued. Here everything is automated and a housewife -especially the upper income ones do nothing and want the moon in a divorce-just because the law allows it. Tiger Woods had to give 100 million dollars for a few years of marraige-how bizarre.

It is not women who are at fault, but the laws which have gone haywire.

anon595 says

Denying facts doesnt make them any less true. I'm done arguing with an
uneducated troll.

Typical response from an ideologue who has no answers and so throws a temper tantrum-I am right and that is the only position there is in the world.

Gents, haven't you thought that, perhaps the tilted divorce laws are there to prevent a glut of available mature established gentlemen on the dating scene so that the young men have a chance at all?

It was not until after divorce at the end of a decade-long marriage that I realized why the hot chicks in their early to mid-20's were so hard to find when I had been that age.

Consider divorce as a balloon payment or disposition fee on a leased car that you couldn't possibly afford buying when you are young, so you are now free to get a new sporty model. Knowing the "expensive" divorce at the end now, would I have married back then? Absolutely! The first half decade were very happy years, worth every penny. Where else would you be getting off? Renting on a daily basis would have been far more expensive than the long-term lease, not to mention risking blackmail if doing anything in violation of the letter of the law. The kids are much more fun to play with than dogs and cats, and live much longer; just let them know which side of their bread gets buttered.

For the original poster: it's actually not a bad idea to treat her like a lease property that you can not possibly afford buying. Regardless what's said at the altar, the reality is that you do not own her, so do not make investments in her according to ownership of her and thereby having specific expectations on her bending her ways to your liking. At any time she may decide to leave you, and you should consider that as a blessing too as you will be opened to a vast green pasture. That live-and-let-live attitude actually might let the marriage last longer, hopefully your whole life time ;-)

New Renter says

Go ahead but averting your eyes won't make it go away

So you are saying consenting sex is rape, just because the woman changes her mind the next day and calls it rape??