patrick.net

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident an Irish man answered his door to find a grim-faced constable waiting in the front yard. "We're sorry, Mr. O' Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said the officer.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick O'Flynn asked. The constable said, "I have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. O' Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first." The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay." "Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed O' Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. O' Flynn demanded, "Glory be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?" The constable replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

https://vid8.poal.co/user/The_Gem/HVKmMEv

Rb6d says

The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Haha! This one hits home with me. Though, not about lobsters.

My thing is crab. I love me some dungeness crab. I have boiled or steamed so many of these creatures in my life and have gobbled down all their flesh and have loved every minute of it.

Okay, I am not young and I live near the west coast of the US. I have told my wife that if I pass first, and if it is not against the law (or if she can avoid trouble), I want her to somehow get my corpse out into the Pacific ocean and let the crabs have back at me.

I like to think when I get I give back.

I went line fishing with a Chinese friend in Half Moon Bay once and we caught a bunch of crabs easily.

I felt bad about throwing them in boiling water, but they were tasty.

Later I found out that a homeless man had drowned in that bay shortly before we went fishing, and had been almost completely eaten by crabs. So the crabs had their revenge in advance.

Booger says

https://vid8.poal.co/user/The_Gem/HVKmMEv

Lol, "kitler".

That woman should NOT have apologized. It was funny!

No one should ever, under any circumstances, apologize to such idiots. Death is preferable to apologizing.

Patrick says

I went line fishing with a Chinese friend in Half Moon Bay once and we caught a bunch of crabs easily.

I felt bad about throwing them in boiling water, but they were tasty.

No offense, and not to make you feel guilty - but are you certain you shouldn't feel bad?

For a long time I was a vegetarian. I just didn't want to kill anything. I've killed fish before but it was more abstract than killing a cow or a deer. But no matter what I do if I eat meat, they are killed.

I kind of feel it must be a torture to boil an animal alive and although we must have very different minds, I have empathy with them. I won't eat lobster and unless I change, I may change.

I think there is a responsibility for us to reduce harm and agony but at the same time, I don't trust the people claiming to want to do that want to reduce harm and agony. Too bad breatharianism is bullshit. No matter what we do, we're killers. Better do something useful with my life I guess :) - need to justify it.

Well, I've never thrown crabs into boiling water again, but then crabs themselves would eat me alive if they could.

https://babylonbee.com/news/hollywood-screenwriter-unsure-how-to-inject-woke-politics-into-movie-about-a-giant-monkey-punching-a-giant-lizard

Patrick says

but then crabs themselves would eat me alive if they could.

They eat each other alive. A wounded crab will be devoured immediately if it has a crack in the shell.

Gas station Sushi has really upped their game.

Kepi says

live near the west coast of the US

If you were out on the Pacifica Pier catching them I may have been right beside you at one point or another.

When Covid vaccine corpses start washing up on shore, and the crabs and seagulls won't touch them, we know we are in trouble.

Ceffer says

When Covid vaccine corpses start washing up on shore, and the crabs and seagulls won't touch them, we know we are in trouble.

And then the corpses re-animate and come after our brains...

Onvacation says

The CIA will be recruiting this psychopath to waterboard future Islamists.

I hesitated to post because I really love my wife, but it is funny.

Patrick says

I hesitated to post because I really love my wife, but it is funny.

This is clearly fake news, because no wife would give a man a cheap divorce like this as long as she had a breath in her body.

ORCA II

That "Orca" above could be used to cause sea level rise that can be blamed on AGW.

Buzz Aldrin was not happy with guy who said he lied about landing on the moon

Patrick says

Buzz Aldrin was not happy with guy who said he lied about landing on the moon

Well deserved punch in the face.

Liars resort to violence the quickest. Just sayin...