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elliemae
2012 Oct 4, 3:18pm
Last part to bridesmaid email:
If your out of state though don't think you have to fly in for all fittings, that we will work with you, find stores in your town, get measurements..you don't have to worry about that. Also if you accept this honor another thing is that you need to be available, I'm not going to harass you with wedding stuff every hour of everyday but if its something important and it takes you a week even 2-3 days to get back to me seeeee ya! I don't have time to wait around for responses, everyone has their phone on them, it shouldn't take you more than a day to get back to me, even if your out of the country, check your email!
Furthermore, Ever since I could remember I have dreamed about this day all my life. I want to share it with the people that are most important to me. You only get one time to plan your dream wedding and I couldn't pick a more amazing group of girls to make that dream come true! So please, what's stated above think about it all and by Wednesday I need to know if everyone is 100% in, and what I have asked about sending me dates if your gonna be away between Feb-Aug ill need that on Wednesday. If you don't think you'll be able to attend one party but can make the rest of them I'm sorry but I'll have to take you out as a bridesmaid and put you as a guest. If you want to get back to me before Wednesday, that's fine. Really think about everything I've said. This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so I hope you girls can share this special day with us!
curious2
2012 Oct 4, 3:27pm
umm, really sorry but I'm planning to have food poisoning continuously from February through September. This will become particularly messy in late August, we can discuss details if you want, feel free to put me on speakerphone during the ceremony.
P.S. "Jake" is a mannequin, right?
elliemae
2012 Oct 4, 4:14pm
I'm a bit upset - I had to read about this online so I obviously am not one of the special invites. I'm setting aside several thousand dollars for the slight possibility that I was on the short list for replacements.
I'm sorry about your severe case of food poisoning that you intend to have - will you be tasting the wedding treats ahead of the big event? That would explain how you're so sure you'll be sick.
Rew
2012 Oct 4, 4:49pm
I sense no problems, tears, or self imposed stress in her future.
It's going to be epic!
sadly, this is what one suspects most men (especially most on here, from evidence of their comments) believe about the mental processes of women in general.
she is not only expecting them to do nearly all of the work, but also pay for almost everything themselves as well. it sounds like something straight out of the corporate HR vacuum, but done in the white trash idiom. "gee, flying down to headquarters at my own expense for a Christmas party lasting 4 hours that lacks an open bar really sounds like the highlight of my holiday season. i'll fondly remember it through pictures of me with vomit on my dress dancing with Brad from tech support for years. can't wait to go!"
as someone who used to 'do' wedding invitations for a living, i sense a lot of sparkling foil and frosted pink roses on the stationery. should be marked 'open only over (or into) trash can'.
This is hysterical. All of these brideslave candidates should be insulted. Especially since bride keeps referring to the "honor" of being her attendant. They are doing her a favor! Well, those who accept her generous offer. She may not have 10 ladies in waiting. She may be stuck with only family members who can't get out of it.
Brideslave reply: Hi B. How exciting! I am sooo happy for you. Have you picked the attendant gifts yet? They have the most luscious diamond earrings at Nordstrom. And you really must pair me with Jake's rich handsome cousin Winston. After all, I'm the only one tall enough for him. As you know, I never go anywhere without my pomeranian Twinkles. I just know you're planning on having little bags made to match our dresses, so all us girls can carry our babies in the wedding procession.
curious2
2012 Oct 10, 3:59pm
I'm thinking they're negotiating for the movie rights as we speak.
Don't forget to budget for the explosive final scene: a U.S. drone strike. It's the latest wedding fashion in Afghanistan and Pakistan. The audience will demand it.
Alternatively, the bride could insist on being photographed standing in a river upstream from a waterfall...
everything
2012 Oct 16, 7:55am
This is likely a well to do family, probably both of them, who has money, the girl is fairly young and naive, likes to talk and thinks of herself often, which is pretty normal for many women these days. I notice even on the dating sites, if she's got money she's expecting money as well. Jake won't run, due to feminist indoctrination and the pussification of the American male, men of today are dumber than ever.
It said only a few girls live out of town, I doubt the requirement for the engagement party will fly.
elliemae
2012 Oct 17, 1:55am
I agree, this woman is very sheltered. I do hope she's aware of how much of an idiot she appears to be.
This is an actual email from a lovely woman planning her wedding for next year (note to "jake," RUN!!!!):
To m lovely Bridesmaid: [Names removed to protect the brideslaves]
As you all know I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side, share and make happen my special day to Jake. Each of you individually have a reason and a special place in my heart of why I picked you to be a bridesmaid. We have set our date for Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Vail, Colorado. That seems far away but it really isn't, the earlier the planning the better. You may have already knew that my wonderful sister L— will be the Maid of Honor, she's in charge under me. Also my lovely mom will be a big help as well. L— has a big role in throwing me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, of course all of you guys do but at the end of the day shes the go to person and makes it happen.
You all have a big roll in this wedding, so before we continue I'm going to be setting some ground rules and its very important you read and think about everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid. If you guys email anything I would also like you to put L— in the CC. Not all the bridesmaid need to be CC'd unless its coming from me or L—, if it something everyone needs to see then well do it. We set the date to August 31, 2013 if that's a problem we need to know NOW. Also by the end of the week we will be setting dates for the engagement party, bridal show and bachelorette party.
Our wedding party is really the most important people at the wedding besides my self and Jake so we want every single one of our bridesmaid and grooms at our parties, I have 10 not 8 where two couldn't make it so if you already know you cant make one of the parties then we have to find someone else, not to be harsh in the slightest it would sadden me and of course you'll still be invited to our wedding, engagement ect. But it's different if your not in the wedding party and couldn't make it. We'll give everyone well advance dates for the parties and it will always fall on a weekend. The wedding as I stated will be in Vail the engagement party will either be in NY or CT and the bachelorette party will be in Vegas, cliche yeaa but I've never been.
A few girls live out of town so if there is going to be a problem with coming to either one then I need to know now because after this week I don't want to be surprised. I would like everyone to send me any dates they are going away or planning to go away after February so if your going away in January I don't care. I want any dates from February to the day of our wedding in August, that way we know not to plan something when your away. But after this week the dates are set in stone. Also if money is tight and you cant afford to contribute to say the bachelorette party or wont be able to afford a dress etc then L— and Myself don't have time to deal with that, I'm sorry. This includes flights as well, everyone knows the states where the parties are going to be held so if you wont be able to afford a flight then that means you cant make a party which ultimately means I cant have you as a bridesmaid. Obviously we'll get the best deals and were not gonna books flights for $1000 and shit that's why were doing this in advance, that goes for bridesmaids dresses as well everything will be affordable but if you think by affordable its going to be a $25 forever 21 dress then your going to the wrong wedding.
(continued in next post due to length)
http://gawker.com/5948725/reasons-why-you-cannot-be-a-bridesmaid