patrick.net

My suggestion is: yeild to your wife and love her. Otherwise, you may soon get into a trouble worse than purchasing a house. However, I would put as little down payment as possible (unless your job is super solid) so you wouldn't feel so bad were you to lose the house.

By the sounds of things, you don't need advice you need recommendations.

http://www.kleinattorneys.com/family-law/divorce/
http://www.mollymaid.com/

300K for a house isn't much to go on, with out knowing the location and specs. But if there's a problem with making the payments, then you shouldn't have let your Realtor have so much influence over your wife. If you can't find reason to be happy with the house, that doesn't involve her servitude to your task list. Then I definitely wouldn't buy.

KgK one says

My wife has hard time managing our 2 bedroom apt but she wants a home now. Her parents, her cousins, and our friends now have a home and they have made her home purchasing zombie. My plan was to get a reasonable home that I can easily rent, when I move out. But since the differnce was about 50 K between a town home and a single, we went for single. She is very bad with math, she got convinced that we are throwing money out on rental eventhough my cost is less than half of owning a 300 K home.
She also thinks its an investment. My realtor has brainwashed her. I fought for 6 years but since we liked the home we are buying it.

Question is how do I make sure that she maintains the home and all the extra work without making me do it. I would work more but this home is being bought primerily for her prestige.

Ugh, good luck with that!

My guess is that you WILL end up doing the maintenance or end up paying for a professional.

Home is nice, we found it after looking for 2 years. 4 B2.5bath .5 acre in PA

KgK one says

My plan was to get a reasonable home that I can easily rent, when I move out

Does your wife know you plan on moving out? Are you sure she can afford the rent once you do?

KgK one says

Question is how do I make sure that she maintains the home and all the extra work without making me do it. I would work more but this home is being bought primerily for her prestige.

In some countries the wife doesn't do the housework. That duty falls on the girlfriends that have their own quarters outside of the main home. Your problem is more of a cultural issue. Build some small studios in the backyard and then educate your wife on the possibilities. ;)

Thank you "Renting for Half the Cost" best idea yet. Won't fly but instead of 20 yr old, we might settle on a 50 yr old help to take care of the home, we make enough money to afford one. I may have to retire little later but will help keeping peace.

Just don't do it. She'll pick up the slack. Hire help. Take care of yourself or you'll both be in trouble.

New Renter says

Ugh, good luck with that!
My guess is that you WILL end up doing the maintenance or end up paying for a professional.

Probably a combination of both. Hate to say that but you are screwed. You need to change the way you're thinking rather than the reality.

No offense,but does not seem like She is caring for you!

You are in a tough spot. But buying a house isn't a life threatening decision unless you buy during the bubble, and it is something both husband and wife have to be ready for and want.

Take her around some open houses. You'll probably be swarmed by hungry desperate real estate agents, take anything they say as a half truth since they are sales people. Most important bring someone who understands repairs and knows what to look for (unless you are an expert). This will give you and your wife both a realistic view of what it will cost and if it's worth it or not.

And avoid flips, these usually are cosmetically prettied up to appeal to women. And once you get into them, you'll quickly run into real past due maintenance stuff that needs to be done and will require ripping all the cosmetics off (that you paid for in the first place) just so it can be fixed properly. It's almost criminal what flippers often do.

And lastly if you are to buy a house you do have to make peace with the fact that it is for certain prestige, it sure is not to save money.

My more serious advice is this:

1. Life isn't lived on paper. The house may not be a good financial investment but neither is a $50 bottle of wine, a new car or a vacation.
2. You shouldn't buy the house unless both of you think its a good idea. There is a lot of daylight between the two of you right now...And by daylight, I mean contempt. I don't mean that you have to agree with her on the reasons or that she has to grok the financial aspects of it...but if you can't get comfortable that the non-financial benefits outweigh the financial downsides, then I say don't buy it.
3. In any relationship both parties should "give 60%, expect 40%" (and be happy about it).

I think it's fair to set some ground rules for the division of labor on the new house. Try to approach it in a positive way, though and with less of the tone you have expressed here. It sounds like you are saying "I'll get you your damn house if you will keep it clean, lazy bitch." I'd suggest taking a few minutes to remember why you married her, why you love her and why it is important to you that she is happy. If you struggle with that, fire the real estate agent and hire a marriage counselor.

Mobi says

My suggestion is: yeild to your wife and love her. Otherwise, you may soon get into a trouble worse than purchasing a house. However, I would put as little down payment as possible (unless your job is super solid) so you wouldn't feel so bad were you to lose the house.

BS. If she wants the house, she can buy it, or you can split the cost. Yield to nobody. If you ever will have kids later, you will have to support them monetarily until they are old enough and being a debt serf doesn't help with that. Your wife is old enough to take care of herself, your future kids aren't. If you decide to buy the place, put yourself only on the title - you can always put a provision in that guarantees your wife to stay in it if she needs it.

When my old lady is being stubborn on something, or being disagreeable, I remind her that I'm much smarter than her, and that I'm always right, and if that still fails, I just withhold sex from her for a day or two. Works every time

swebb says

1. Life isn't lived on paper. The house may not be a good financial investment but neither is a $50 bottle of wine, a new car or a vacation.

Don't forget the limits of your income!

errc says

When my old lady is being stubborn on something, or being disagreeable, I remind her that I'm much smarter than her, and that I'm always right, and if that still fails, I just withhold sex from her for a day or two. Works every time

I threaten to quit drinking beer and walking around shirtless.
When that fails I threaten to trim my toe nails, on my sandalded feet.
I never get what I want, but I'm looking better every day.