patrick.net

Kevin says

Doesn't the lube get expensive?

I'm really not THAT worried about peak oil making Vaseline too expensive.

I do think the multiple wives idea is a good one.

WTF is it now with the singles bashing? Back in the days when I was singl-ish, it sometimes happened that I had a hot girl in the morning and a different one at night - I was king of Fuck mountain! Not a bad way to live. You can be lonely inside with 100 girls, with 1 girl or with no girls, but I'd rather be lonely fucking than fucking lonely.

Bap33 says

I do think the multiple wives idea is a good one.

Disagree.

I think most men who have ONE wife can attest to that.

MsBennet says

If you men are expecting someone to "worship the ground on you walk on," that is a very immature notion, something out of a science fiction novel. But keep on keeping on....and remain single. The fact that you "need" to be worshipped is a clue there is something wrong with you. Grow up, please.

That's a typical reaction. What's there to grow up? In fact it's rather the fact that he is grown up and now has better perspective/experience that changed his views. It has nothing to do with men expecting to be worshipped, in fact I would find that a bit boring. However if you have the choice between this and an eternal nagger that can't do much in the household without getting pissed off, the choice is clear. For years men have been told to "grow up" and do their own chores in the household, as if this were such a difficult skill to acquire (they simply didn't want to do it). Now that most do run at least part of the household and work their usual full-time bread-winning jobs, the American woman is unnecessary, unless she enhances the man's life. The same is true vice versa, however most American women still want/need the convenience of having a man at their service to either earn a boatload of money or do all that shit work around the house they don't want to do (or both), not to mention the chivalry without which they become so depressed that they have to see a shrink. Lastly, don't take this as a sweeping generalization, obviously you and many others may be different, but as an obvious trend ;)

mell says

The same is true vice versa, however most American women still want/need the
convenience of having a man at their service to either earn a boatload of money
or do all that shit work around the house they don't want to do (or both), not
to mention the chivalry without which they become so depressed that they have to
see a shrink.

So true. My granparents were farmers. My grandma worked till the day she had my mom. A couple of days later she was back at work and she pretty much had the same cycle for a few more kids she had. She was always busy and was a tremendous asset to my grandpa. No way could he have pulled it off without her.

Today's housewives have everything ready-electric stoves, food/milk etc at the grocery store, heaters/ac, clothes at the mall. Then they only have one or two kids and it is not like they grow their own food, milk the cows or sew their own clothes. They have a car that takes them from place to place and then when the man comes home-he needs to add to the chores-what chores????

My grandma used to take pride at her work and mom had to go to school and help with farm chores pretty early in life. Today's alimony laws are just preposterous-especially the higher income ones. The higher income a husband brings in-the less work-you have everything from nannies to maids, drivers, vacations. So in the case of divorce-move on with your life-you enjoyed a lifestyle without much work-it is over , now go get a job or start a business.

Been married for 7 years. My wife lives within a budget, doesn't demand expensive things, and really enjoys life - she especially loves living on the California coast and has no problem with my surfing addiction.

Her family is great, she cooks like a chef, keeps the house organized and educates our two children (ages 3 and 5).

Some may look at marriage as a ball and chain. But it's not always the case. Just gotta find the right one :)

For those who have been divorced/burned. Sure, I see the other side. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

The laws are the problem. They need to change and accept women as equals- fully capable of taking risks and responsibility.

Married for 7 years happy with my choice. We are an agnostic/atheist couple and I don't think religion has SQUAT to do with marriages. Even in the most religious "primitive Baptist" couple I know, there's this out called "unevenly yoked". Sort of like the Catholic thing with anulment, they get to claim they are not equal believers in Christ so they get an exit from a marriage that's not working out.

I had fears and doubts beforehand, but held my breath and jumped off the diving board anyways. One can be needlessly terrified by the "til death do us part".

I think divorce is a good thing as an option actually. As a couples counselor once said "well if it doesn't work out, there are exits". You might get hit by a bus next year and never live long enough to see your beloved turn into a jerk anyhow.

Young men giving up on marriage: ‘Women aren’t women anymore’

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/young-men-giving-up-on-marriage-women-arent-women-anymore

Peter P says

worship the ground you walk on, and never make you doubt her devotion.

When I was talking about a man needing to be worshiped, I was referring to this statement. Most men know better, I would think.

Oxygen says

Young men giving up on marriage: ‘Women aren’t women anymore’

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/young-men-giving-up-on-marriage-women-arent-women-anymore

here's the best comment from the article, in my opinion, and i think it's even better than the article itself

"There are many factors. While the Feminist doctrine has marganalized good men, it has also created a culture where more young men are inclined to see women as merely objects for sex in much the same way hardcore militant feminism taught many young women to be independent and see men as only necessary for breeding. No doubt this has been passed on to a younger generation of men who likewise will also be indoctrinated to see women as only necessary for sexual pleasure and who only expect the same from them, because marriage and the patriarchial responsibilities of it are no longer acceptable in the modernist world.

But good men who understand this are also discouraged. Divorce makes many men worried about ever getting into a relationship. Boys increasingly raised in a society where marriages break down are unlikely to think it's worth the trouble. Ridiculous laws in divorce cases that favor women and make men slaves to courtroom declarations where their wealth is given to the woman who also gets full custody of the children is also very worrisome regardless of the circumstances. Men are no longer guaranteed their offspring. Men are increasingly told they have no say if the woman wants to abort their children.

Marriage itself is constantly becoming more meaningless. Pornography is increasingly rampant in destroyign the bonds between men and women. And as society breaks down it creates uncertainty about the future with regards to the world we live in and would bring children into and economically depressing, that even otherwise men inclined to be responsible are put off from ever getting married because the future looks bleak.

Turning this around requires a return to the patriarchy, and proper institution of marriage and respect for sex within marriage. By containing the power of sex within marriage under the patriarchy, it forces men to improve themselves and become responsible patriarchs before even entering in marriage. The Patriarchy and institution of marriage therefore utilized men's sex drives in a positive way to createa nd build a stable society. And patriarchial rights and the permanence of the marriage relationship without divorce maintained this stability. Patriarchies also have the added benefit of protecting women. No man could take advantage of a girl for sex. Today a man could court your 14 year old ddaughter and so long as he gets legal 'consent' he can have sex with her, privately get her pregnancy aborted at Planned Parenthood, then dump her. Parents can't do anything. Under a patriarchy, no man could even consider courting a girl without going through her father first. If he dared to, then he would have violated the patriarch's right (A daughter was considered legal property of the father for this reason, not because women are the lesser of men), and justice would have been severe.

However Hollywood and liberalism have painted a distorted view of the patriarchial system by focusing on ways it can be abused, much like hos they have demonized men to seem like drunken monsters despite the reality. In many ways women were even happier having the freedom to do what they wanted within the family and raise children while the men worked. Feminism was initially promoted as a 'Sleeping Beauty Feminism' doctrine that encouraged women to be more independent and enter the workforce as if they were wasting their abilities by being homemakers. This approach completely failed with women who were overall happy with their situation. It wasn't until Feminism was pushed as the 'Suffering Saints Faminism' where the campaign focused on those women who were abused by demonic men that feminism finally started to take hold. It was all in how you frame it. There were plenty of legitimate reasons for the Women's Rights movement in the modern era. However Feminism isn't the same thing. It merely piggybacked on women's rights. Many Christian women in the Women's Rights movement only wanted accomodations to be made in the absence of men to prevent themselves being taken advantage of and to have their say in government policy through voting etc. Even the Old Testament laws make accomodations for women who find themselves without a husband for various circumstances who were in danger of losing their rightful priveledges. Feminism on the other hand was primarily driven by Communists who wished to make women workers subservient to the State contributing to production and consumerism. Basically cogs in the machine. The Church, Family, children and patriarchs and Marriage stood in the way. So these had to be destroyed so that the people would depend on the state and work for the benefit of the state. That is feminism's origin. The rise of feminism and increased socialism and communism and practical atheism is all part and parcel of everything we observe happening around us."

I’m well educated, make great money, own my own home, have a great career and money in the bank. I’ve been called handsome, am 6’ 2” and have no health issues. I’m one of those people that lives well below his means. I save a large portion of my disposable income for retirement and won’t count on any government entitlements. Regardless of what the government keeps saying, they’ll all be bankrupt by then. Anyone that believes otherwise has a rude awakening coming their way. The country as a whole is already deep in debt. All statistical trends say that it’s just going to get worse – much, much worse.

I’ve researched marriage and divorce intensively and will never risk putting my life in the hands of someone that might use the current laws to destroy me, ever again. I’m divorced and got away unscathed, but that didn’t stop that evil creature from trying to take everything she could get on the way out. I am shocked that anyone gets married anymore – especially if you have a lot to lose in divorce. It’s just too easy to take someone to the cleaners on a whim. Seriously – you don’t even have to have a reason. Just have an affair and/or just walk out. Besides the paperwork, that’s really all there is to it. You can literally walk out with no consequences whatsoever. Who are these people taking this risk with their futures??? If you’re the breadwinner and you have children, kiss your future goodbye. Marriage today is little more than fraud waiting to happen. I have opted out and nothing will change my mind. Given the current divorce environment, I’m grateful and very happy to be living on my own and will remain that way. My heart goes out to those that have their lives destroyed through divorce. I’ve read hundreds of your stories and am both heartbroken and enraged at the current state of what used to be the most sacred of unions.

Look at every statistic related to morality from 1960 forward. They all trend the same way – to a corrupt and valueless society. Look at birth rates, out of wedlock births, divorce rates, marriage rates, welfare rates, and today’s hook up culture. Look at the way media portrays relationships. Look at the social programming that goes into convincing men to fulfill a role that is no longer valued. Look at the push to legalize controlled substances. It’s bad enough we have so many alcoholics – lets open the flood gates on other mind altering substances? Look at the rapid rise and spread of STDs, some of which are incurable. Look at the number of households now headed by single adults. Look at the attempt to remove religion from our schools. Look at the rise in violence initiated by women. Look at the feminization of the male and masculinization of the female. Look at statistics related to depression. Look at the candy store of prescription drugs prescribed to the masses of people that can no longer cope with our society. Look at the ease of obtaining porn and the ease of obtaining abortion (both for the most part now free of charge). Look at premarital sex. Look at how easy it is to divorce. Look at the fact that our country has been edging toward financial collapse for decades and look at the debt being left to future generations. Look at the fact that almost no family can survive on a single income (unless financed by taxpayer dollars through welfare). Look at corporate corruption and greed, outsourcing, and how global trade impacted the manufacturing sector. It used to be that living on the wrong side of any of these statistics was wrong and you were shunned if you lived there. Now, living on the wrong side of these statistics is for the most part accepted, sometimes encouraged and frequently even celebrated.

Why is it that the only statistic that’s trending in a supposedly positive direction is the rise in power and wealth of women? Why is every other statistic trending rapidly and precariously in the wrong direction but that one? Hmmm – what’s that word I’m looking for???? I know it rhymes with Marxism, Stalinism, Socialism, and Communism…I think it maybe starts with an ‘F’.

There’s nothing like those good old intended consequences. Yes…I said intended consequences.

The society has been consumed by nihilism.

Peter P says

nihilism

That's what I just said! ;)

BRP001 says

Peter P says

nihilism

That's what I just said! ;)

I don't agree with everything you posted, (for example I don't connect the loss of moral values and rise of feminism or gender wars to extramarital sex and recreational drugs), but I can see your point of view and why you're not getting married again. There's simply no upside ;) By the way in earlier years where a patriarchical approach was more common some of the guys still had affairs (and so did the women), the difference however is that each gender had their roles carved out and were responsible to fulfill those. It's more difficult these days when people are growing up with the I-can-have-it-all rah-rah spewed from the media at them, It's simple: No, you can't ;)

Agreed. There is no one thing to blame. Nor do I believe one gender is to blame more than the other. I'm an equal opportunity blamer. Don’t cherry pick my analysis! :O

Ground breaking research regarding our conversations at the below link:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/kBYcyDoh-XI

Monogamy is sure tricky, but a worthwhile experiment with the right woman (READ: not a bracelet). Some think it's totally unnatural. Could be. However, I think things like unconditional love and loyalty are some of the most profoundly beautiful traits any human being could posses.

I think it helps if this woman is a solid friend first -- someone you just like being around, and whose opinions you actually seek out on various matters. The romance should grow out of that, I think. Just my opinion.

I'm in no position to give advice, but based on my own failures, I would suggest to any man to try not to let your weaknesses show too much. Stoicism and grace under pressure is paramount in a relationship. Even when you don't feel very strong, you must act like you do. It will help the longevity of the thing.

Also important: you need your own room. A shed, garage, cave...whatever. It is not an option!

Oh! Here's one:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/rCF7Dnov8vA

BRP001 says

Oh! Here's one:

Great Glenn Ford flick!

JodyChunder says

BRP001 says

Oh! Here's one:

Great Glenn Ford flick!

Don't know why I started thinking about this stuff in this thread. Could it be all the love, marriage, children and morality issues being discussed? Naaaaaaah!

I sometimes wonder what people 60 years from now will think of us. What will their culture be like then? Will they look back with scorn at how foolish were were, or will they look back and say, "gee - those were the good old days." If the latter, I wish to die young.

Where is Patrick when you need him?

Marriage is relentless, ongoing warfare, in which each participant constantly jockeys for advantage and power over the other.

The combatants occasionally declare a truce and have sex. Declaring love and loyalty is a diversion or a sucker punch.

Nothing makes a girl's pudenda quiver like the sight of a totally defeated man, crawling and begging.

Women don't mind if you leave them, but only if you lead a lonely, miserable, and poverty stricken life and then die of some painful disease.

Strap a 20 year old model to your arm and get a yacht, they will commission a sniper.

Female here, and you guys are pathetic.

Marry someone who's your best friend, whose company you enjoy, who makes you laugh, whom you trust and care about. If you do, you will probably be happy. If you don't, you screwed up, and you have no one to blame but yourself.

There are no end of greedy, selfish people in the world, but you don't have to marry one. If you do, you need to learn how to be a better judge of character.

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich says

When did you become sane?

I have fits of sanity just like any jackass.

Oxygen says

here's the best comment from the article, in my opinion, and i think it's even better than the article itself

Sorry man, this is complete and utter bullshit.

A marriage in THIS culture has to be a partnership, not a patriarchy. There will likely be times where the man is un/under employed and the woman is the main breadwinner. I personally know of two situations like this, one where the husband and wife are both believers in the patriarch model while the other marriage is more balanced. The patriarch couple is very stressed - the husband feels shitty because he is not earning and the wife is losing respect for him because she has to support them. The balanced couple has a LOT less stress.

A patriarchy is just not compatible with that situation. It is also a lousy model for kids.

BayArea says

I am a bit discouraged at just how many people I know who don't seem to be too happy in their marriages.

Sounds like you are hanging around with the wrong folks. Are they Hipsters?

denise says

Female here, and you guys are pathetic.

Marry someone who's your best friend, whose company you enjoy, who makes you laugh, whom you trust and care about. If you do, you will probably be happy. If you don't, you screwed up, and you have no one to blame but yourself.

There are no end of greedy, selfish people in the world, but you don't have to marry one. If you do, you need to learn how to be a better judge of character.

Yeh, I agree.
Maybe some "guys" spend too much time on the internets and the blogs and not enough time getting a life.

New Renter says

Oxygen says

here's the best comment from the article, in my opinion, and i think it's even better than the article itself

Sorry man, this is complete and utter bullshit.

A marriage in THIS culture has to be a partnership, not a patriarchy. There will likely be times where the man is un/under employed and the woman is the main breadwinner. I personally know of two situations like this, one where the husband and wife are both believers in the patriarch model while the other marriage is more balanced. The patriarch couple is very stressed - the husband feels shitty because he is not earning and the wife is losing respect for him because she has to support them. The balanced couple has a LOT less stress.

A patriarchy is just not compatible with that situation. It is also a lousy model for kids.

I don't think it's an either or. If the woman is bringing home most of the bacon and the man is ok with it, it can work as well. The problem though is that the person making significantly less (or choosing to do so by staying at home mostly) needs to put the main breadwinner's job as a top priority and pick up slack in the other areas. Only that way you can be mostly free from money issues. Since today on average the man is still the main breadwinner, this is mostly an issue of the woman who does not want to accept that she has to pick up the slack and give the man a break. Also the often so heroically touted sharing of duties brings its own set of problems. Men and women do things differently and I think women often feel "inferior" because they do mostly house-work or work part time only or have a much lesser paid job and then often get their frustration out by lashing out at the guy for not doing things right in the household or in their kids education. The reality is, almost everybody can be a decent parent (not a superstar but decent), however not everybody can be decent programmer/surgeon or whatever. That's why nanny's, while expensive, still make far less than any occupation that requires a good amount of skills, studying and experience.

denise says

Marry someone who's your best friend, whose company you enjoy, who makes you laugh, whom you trust and care about. If you do, you will probably be happy.

Did you do that and followed your own advice?

'I Hate My Wife' @ The Experience Project.

http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Hate-My-Wife/409

for sure the rate of divorce amongst white middle class 'bobos in paradise' is FAR higher than 50%. I would estimate around 80-90%.

and yes getting married is all about the feels, isn't it? that's what women do, exploit your feels. Ever see a women 'fall in love' with a fat bald poor shlep- unless of course she has no other options. It's not random at all. Go look on OKCupid and all you warm and fuzzy ideas about love will dissipate quickly.

Family is a good idea. Most 'Bobo' women are entirely unsuitable for this purpose. American women are by far the worst, then comes British.

BRP001 says

Look at every statistic related to morality from 1960 forward. They all trend the same way – to a corrupt and valueless society.

what no one here has mentioned, is the LAST and perhaps final battle in this war- redefining marriage altogether!

still think Gay Marriage is really about the rights of Gay people?

as far aBRP001 says

Why is it that the only statistic that’s trending in a supposedly positive direction is the rise in power and wealth of women? Why is every other statistic trending rapidly and precariously in the wrong direction but that one? Hmmm – what’s that word I’m looking for???? I know it rhymes with Marxism, Stalinism, Socialism, and Communism…I think it maybe starts with an ‘F’.

here's a clue.

when the British wanted to take over the Aboriginal tribes of Australia, they decided that confronting them with military power would backfire on them politically, so they decided to destroy the tribes culturally.

how did they do this?

simple. The symbol of male power was the stone axe. so what they did was take manufactured metal axes and gave them to both the men and the women. It was not before long that the Abbo society completely broke down, and they took to drinking heavily as their primary occupation. Then the British took over their habitations claiming they were trying to 'help' with their problems by providing 'aid'.

New Renter, do you have XX chromosome or XY?

if they can ESTABLISH that these things are 'conditioning' then they can JUSTIFY altering them in an unnatural way.

what I cant comprehend is how men in places like America take these accusations, insinuations, defamations, and incitements sitting down. It has resulted in a practically unlivable conditions for us. We are threatened legally in 1) school 2) workplace 3) bedroom 4) family.

"What is too easy to forget is that this is artificial, and therefore requires constant effort to maintain. Feminism didn’t demolish a barrier between two seas and let the water levels adjust; it is a massive pumping operation. Turn off the pumps even for a little bit and reality will come flooding back."