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Stay out of Florida


               
2013 Apr 18, 9:14am   7,271 views  40 comments

by Dan8267   follow (4)  

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/missing-ohio-family-rescued-dangerous-everglades-18892769

Just remember, if you come to Florida, you could be eaten by alligators or stuck in the swamp forever. Stay up in Ohio, New York, or wherever else you came from. If you have to vacation someplace warm, do so in Mexico. And stop buying houses that you'll only want to occupy for three months of the year. Alligators are attracted to such houses.

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1   lostand confused   @   2013 Apr 18, 9:38am  

Dan8267 says

Just remember, if you come to Florida, you could be eaten by alligators or stuck
in the swamp forever

Or you could have a guy try and eat your face!!

2   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 18, 10:09am  

You are recommending Mexico as a safer alternative to Florida?

4   Tenpoundbass   @   2013 Apr 18, 12:06pm  

Don't listen to Dan, our economy needs the mugging victims.

5   Dan8267   @   2013 Apr 18, 12:19pm  

Have I mentioned that Florida is the lightning capital of the world? Zeus will pop a cap in your ass if you come here.

6   curious2   @   2013 Apr 18, 12:58pm  

New Renter says

You are recommending Mexico as a safer alternative to Florida?

It was, until ATF gunwalking and the DEA "war on drugs" killed more than 50,000 people there. I have had only good experience with Mexico, even with what's been happening lately, but the American federal government decision to export our "drug war" to Mexico has brought tragic violence and tears to a fine country.

7   Ceffer   @   2013 Apr 18, 4:34pm  

I hear that once you get past the electrified barbed wire on the main drags and the huge bug zapping machines and malathion, Florida is exactly like Skull Island from the King Kong movies.

8   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 18, 7:00pm  

Ceffer says

I hear that once you get past the electrified barbed wire on the main drags and the huge bug zapping machines and malathion, Florida is exactly like Skull Island from the King Kong movies.

I think we found the lost land of AF!

9   thomaswong.1986   @   2013 Apr 18, 7:13pm  

curious2 says

It was, until ATF gunwalking and the DEA "war on drugs" killed more than 50,000 people there. I have had only good experience with Mexico, even with what's been happening lately, but the American federal government decision to export our "drug war" to Mexico has brought tragic violence and tears to a fine country.

You mean how the various members of the drug cartel are killing each other over market share ? Which family will be number 1 controlling the drug trade. Just like the Columbians and Bolivians were shooting it out decades ago. And you point and blame the killings on the USA govt.. oh thats hot !

The drugs really have gone to your head... muchacho ! If you really feel anything over the 50,000 dead, might be a good idea to stop using drugs.

10   finehoe   @   2013 Apr 19, 4:13am  

IDDQD says

Was China such a wonderful place when everybody and his dog could smoke all the opium they wanted?

Ask the British.

11   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 19, 4:23am  

IDDQD says

finehoe says

IDDQD says

Was China such a wonderful place when everybody and his dog could smoke all the opium they wanted?

Ask the British.

I'm more interested on Chinese point of view on this matter.

Depends on if the person asked chinese or brit was getting a piece of the action.

12   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 19, 4:31am  

IDDQD says

curious2 says

It was, until ATF gunwalking and the DEA "war on drugs" killed more than 50,000 people there. I have had only good experience with Mexico, even with what's been happening lately, but the American federal government decision to export our "drug war" to Mexico has brought tragic violence and tears to a fine country.

I keep hearing how the drug war is bad and how wonderful USA would would be if there were no restrictions on drugs sale and use. Was China such a wonderful place when everybody and his dog could smoke all the opium they wanted?

Which is worse- unlimited opium smokimg or a job at Foxconn?

13   finehoe   @   2013 Apr 19, 5:11am  

IDDQD says

I'm more interested on Chinese point of view on this matter.

Chinese officials wished to end the spread of opium, and confiscated supplies of opium from British traders. The British government objected to this seizure and used its military power to violently enforce redress.

14   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 19, 5:28am  

IDDQD says

New Renter says

Which is worse- unlimited opium smokimg or a job at Foxconn?

You can quit Foxconn.

And end up on the streets with no money, no friends, nothing. If quitting was a viable option don't you think people would have done that rather than commit scuicide?

15   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 19, 5:30am  

IDDQD says

finehoe says

Chinese officials wished to end the spread of opium, and confiscated supplies of opium from British traders. The British government objected to this seizure and used its military power to violently enforce redress.

These are well-known facts but don't really answer the question whether it was such a happy place before their evil gubmint decided to start their version of "war on drugs". Were people happy and healthy, was the economy booming and arts and science flourishing with all this wonderful opium easily accessible?

Was it ever?

16   MisdemeanorRebel   @   2013 Apr 19, 5:56am  

IDDQD says

Were people happy and healthy, was the economy booming and arts and science flourishing with all this wonderful opium easily accessible?

Massive explosion of arts and sciences in the 19th Century. Laudanum was a massive epidemic effecting countless people in the US and UK, which were countries rapidly industrializing and achieving new heights of artistic and scientific endeavors.

Everybody from Grandma to Clive to Coleridge to Poe to even Ben Franklin, used laudanum frequently.

17   JodyChunder   @   2013 Apr 19, 7:58am  

New Renter says

You are recommending Mexico as a safer alternative to Florida?

He is definitely not exaggerating.

18   Dan8267   @   2013 Apr 19, 8:10am  

...my motivations in keeping people out of Florida might be a bit selfish. Too many people here already. Housing prices too high.

19   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 19, 10:59am  

Dan8267 says

...my motivations in keeping people out of Florida might be a bit selfish. Too many people here already. Housing prices too high.

Buy a houseboat. At least that will float as the rest of the state sinks beneath the ocean.

20   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 19, 11:01am  

JodyChunder says

New Renter says

You are recommending Mexico as a safer alternative to Florida?

He is definitely not exaggerating.

¡Aye Caramba!

21   David Losh   @   2013 Apr 19, 11:28am  

Dan8267 says

Housing prices too high.

My wife said she saw a condo for $60K in Miami, yes, no, maybe?

22   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 19, 1:51pm  

David Losh says

Dan8267 says

Housing prices too high.

My wife said she saw a condo for $60K in Miami, yes, no, maybe?

Grossly overpriced!

23   JodyChunder   @   2013 Apr 19, 5:21pm  

Dan8267 says

...my motivations in keeping people out of Florida might be a bit selfish. Too many people here already. Housing prices too high.

I nearly got stabbed one night passing through Orlando Florida many years back while trying to buy a slice of pizza. I was in town exactly two hours.

24   Dan8267   @   2013 Apr 22, 2:04pm  

JodyChunder says

I nearly got stabbed one night passing through Orlando Florida many years back while trying to buy a slice of pizza. I was in town exactly two hours.

That is a new record. Last guy only made it to 1:47.

25   JodyChunder   @   2013 Apr 22, 5:19pm  

It was a serious deal. He was wearing a T-shirt with a giant Darth Maul face on it and looked like a less well-fed version of Ernest Borgnine.

It's too bad about Florida, man. That place frightens me anymore. And I don't scare all that easily, Dan.

26   anonymous   2013 Apr 22, 10:42pm  

If the rainbow people have multiplied so that they're spreading out from the forrest, into major population centers like Oklawaha, try somewhere nicer and more happening, like Ocala. Or Dunellon, its nice there on the river this time of year

27   anonymous   2013 Apr 22, 10:46pm  

Whenever I hear people argue FOR the government restricting drug use, as it pertains to the "bad" "drugs" (opiates, pot, coke), I can't help but assume that their thougts are not their own. I just can't fathom that ones organic thoughts would lead them to speak in favor of a gun wielding police state imprisoning the populace for using NATURAL drugs, yet nary a peep about the tens of millions of people hooked on dangerous, addictive, ineffective drugs like (insert any of the top 15 prescribed fda approved bigphrma drugs)

28   Tenpoundbass   @   2013 Apr 22, 11:36pm  

errc says

yet nary a peep about the tens of millions of people hooked on dangerous, addictive, ineffective drugs like (insert any of the top 15 prescribed fda approved bigphrma drugs)

Especially when you consider that Pig Pharm drugs, are drugs you have to take for life, of face serious health consequences when you try to ween your self off.

29   Dan8267   @   2013 Apr 23, 4:08am  

JodyChunder says

It's too bad about Florida, man. That place frightens me anymore. And I don't scare all that easily, Dan.

I think it's the incredible contrast between poverty on one side of the street and rich, gated communities on the other. All the have-nots see what they have not, and with the weather being good, they are all out on the street. At least up north crime takes a break during the cold winter.

30   edvard2   @   2013 Apr 23, 5:20am  

Florida to me is a hole. Its basically where all of the retirees from NY, MA, NJ, and the other Northeastern states go to retire. Its also the state where seemingly every cop/chase TV show is filmed. Its also got some really crappy weather. Granted its warm in the winter, but then 99 degrees and 99% humidity for half the year. We lived in NC and every time we went to the beach I could hardly wait to go back home.

31   Vicente   @   2013 Apr 23, 6:27am  

Florida went downhill after this went off the air:

32   upisdown   @   2013 Apr 23, 6:30am  

edvard2 says

Florida to me is a hole. Its basically where all of the retirees from NY, MA,
NJ, and the other Northeastern states go to retire. Its also the state where
seemingly every cop/chase TV show is filmed. Its also got some really crappy
weather. Granted its warm in the winter, but then 99 degrees and 99% humidity
for half the year. We lived in NC and every time we went to the beach I could
hardly wait to go back home.

LOL, we always said that it was the destination for all the pretentious assholes that unforunately, move back sooner or later.

33   Tenpoundbass   @   2013 Apr 23, 6:31am  

edvard2 says

Its basically where all of the retirees from NY, MA, NJ, and the other Northeastern states go to retire.

I wish we still had those people, they were good people.

Miami Vice was the beginning of the end.
It's when the tide turned from nice folks as mentioned above, quit coming, and scumbags, that believed what they saw on Miami vice was true, and the fruit was ripe for the Crooks to come pick.

Fuck I even miss the French Canadians at this point.

34   edvard2   @   2013 Apr 23, 8:02am  

To me, going into the "northerners moving to Florida" comment deeper, to me the reason I personally don't see this as exactly fantastic is because why do most of those people move there? Its because they spent 40-50 years in a cold-as-hell city on the Northeast and at that point all they're thinking about is getting out of there and moving someplace warm, and probably someplace close enough to see the kids and grandkids who stay up north. So Florida it is. Hence a bunch of people who moved there for no other reason than for the weather whom will identify as being New Yorkers or Bostonians for the rest of their lives, whom don't know anything or care to know anything about whatever regional characteristics or customs might have been in that area, and whom also aren't contributing as much to the economy in terms of being productive- because they are retired.

I'm not saying people shouldn't move from say- NY to FL. I lived in the NE for 2 years and god was the weather awful. I don't blame people for making that choice. But when that many people move for such topical reasons, the culture that tends to lead to is bland and uninteresting.

35   JodyChunder   @   2013 Apr 23, 8:38am  

Dan8267 says

I think it's the incredible contrast between poverty on one side of the street and rich, gated communities on the other. All the have-nots see what they have not, and with the weather being good, they are all out on the street. At least up north crime takes a break during the cold winter.

I think you've got something there. The ol' High/Low theme. Too bad the evildoers can't figure out that robbing one another or people not that much better off than themselves is...stupid.

36   dublin hillz   @   2013 Apr 23, 8:43am  

JodyChunder says

Dan8267 says



I think it's the incredible contrast between poverty on one side of the street and rich, gated communities on the other. All the have-nots see what they have not, and with the weather being good, they are all out on the street. At least up north crime takes a break during the cold winter.


I think you've got something there. The ol' High/Low theme. Too bad the evildoers can't figure out that robbing one another or people not that much better off than themselves is...stupid.

I agree, however, many people in united states tend to have envy of those who are slightly better off instead of focusing attention at those who are multiple degrees better off

37   JodyChunder   @   2013 Apr 23, 8:48am  

edvard2 says

Florida to me is a hole. Its basically where all of the retirees from NY, MA, NJ, and the other Northeastern states go to retire.

Well, the affordability in that part of the country was once very very down to earth. I don't know about anymore. There are beautiful parts of the coastline there and some really lovely flora and fauna, if you're into that kinda thing (I yam). The summertime weather, well...you gotta know how to rock the seersucker and linen. Think Faulkner or Williams...

My problem with Florida, and especially Central FL, is that the people who vacation there seem to have this infantile notion that it's Disney World 24/7 and so they move there for perpetual fun-in-the-sun. When it doesn't pan out that way, you wind up with a lot of disgruntled motherfuckers walking around looking for someone's day to ruin.

Plus, I think when your engine for attracting people to your city is volleyball in February and year-round boredom relief, you just have to know you're going to be attracting a certain base element.

38   New Renter   @   2013 Apr 23, 9:20am  

robertoaribas says

edvard2 says

to me the reason I personally don't see this as exactly fantastic is because why do most of those people move there?

They moved there for the same reasons the ones from the midwest come to scottsdale AZ in the winter:

1. to drive slow as hell in front of you, when you are in a hurry.

2. (florida version of snowbird) to talk in an obnoxious voice about how, "thatz naught how weee do it in new yaork"

3. to golf

4. to sit at the coffee shops forever, so you can't get a seat when you go.

thats about it!

And to be stung by scorpions. Painful as hell but cheaper than botox

39   upisdown   @   2013 Apr 23, 10:10am  

robertoaribas says

1. to drive slow as hell in front of you, when you are in a hurry.
2.
(florida version of snowbird) to talk in an obnoxious voice about how, "thatz
naught how weee do it in new yaork"
3. to golf
4. to sit at the coffee
shops forever, so you can't get a seat when you go.

You lucky folks, and they usually have to dump RE when they leave too. That's a plus for having to put up with their spoiled baby boomer asses!

At least when they move back, their incessant medical spending brings federal money back to our area to offest the overall loss we suffer by supporting the south and red states.

40   JodyChunder   @   2013 Apr 23, 11:17am  

Yep...

Long long walks
On the beach
Lovely times...

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