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Is it ethical to take advantage of a Los Altos open house like this?


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2013 Jun 7, 7:08pm   5,780 views  15 comments

by FunnyBayAreaBuyer   ➕follow (1)   💰tip   ignore  

As you may already know, I've been trying really hard to buy a property in Los Altos, but I have faced numerous issues in my adventure. In the last open house in Los Altos I went to, I decided I really wanted to impress the seller's real estate agent. So I wore my best formal business suit, tie, and arrived to the open house 10 minutes before it's official start so that I could convince the seller's real estate agent to accept my offer right away and forget about the open house.

So, as I arrive 10 minutes early to the open house, I find the door of the house open. I enter but I did not find any real estate agent, host or greeter. To my surprise, I saw my competitors coming just a few minutes after me. It was a couple, a tall guy with his very attractive wife.

I was almost panicking, hoping that this couple does not find the seller's real estate agent before me. So they see me, and they start running towards me. Then I get really really scared. I thought these guys would probably want to kill me so that they can get the house for themselves. As I was freezing out of panic, they reach me, and start talking super fast, with a very strong tone of voice. Due to the panic I do not remember every single little thing they said, but It seemed to me that they had confused me for the seller's real estate agent. They pull out a paper with numbers followed by several zeroes and tell me why I should accept their offer and close the open house.

But then something magical happen. They guy tells to me: "And now, a treat that you will not be able to resist. After this treat, you will sell me the house immediately". So his wife grabs my arm and takes me (almost forcefully) to the bathroom. She closes the bathroom, locks it, get's on her knees, pulls my zipper down, takes my junk out and starts giving me a Bank of Japan (also known as: BJ, or Bl@w J@b). I'm a very lonely (but very well paid, and very lucky from a startup perspective) engineer. So I released all my loneliness in the shape of a sticky liquid to the mouth of this lady in less than 60 seconds. After which she tells me: "So, convinced? Are you accepting our offer?". Not knowing what to do I answered: "Definitelly". I got out of the bathroom, took their paper offer, told them "the house is all yours, i'll call you", and left the open house immediately.

Guys, as I told you I am very lonely. Not married, no girlfriend. So this incident is something I, as you may understand, feel very thankful for.

I am thinking I should do this again in another open house. Do you guys think this is ethical? Is it ethical to take advantage of a Los Altos open house like this? Should I do this again? comments? advice

#housing

Comments 1 - 15 of 15        Search these comments

1   curious2   2013 Jun 7, 7:29pm  

Of course, and feel free to broaden your horizons - there are plenty of open houses in San Francisco, as well.

2   Automan Empire   2013 Jun 8, 5:25am  

Wait, you forgot the opener.

Dear Penthouse,

3   REpro   2013 Jun 8, 7:27am  

Fantastic starting episode for a great Hollywood comedy.

4   Tenpoundbass   2013 Jun 8, 7:46am  

I would lay low for while, it seems you have the same tasted in houses. Do you really want to run into these guys again?

That's really the question, where they desperate, or was the guy one of those type of guys who like to brag about his wife tits by having her flash them at parties. Esther way I wouldn't want to run into them again, what if he wants a go at you?

5   FuckTheMainstreamMedia   2013 Jun 8, 8:24am  

As a wealthy single man, you should be living as close to work as possible and not mortgaging an over priced crap shack. And if you can't make that female to male member scenario happen 3-4 time a week with your charm, you should be making it happen with inexpensive hookers on backpage.

6   MAGA   2013 Jun 8, 8:30am  

One of my former co-workers lived in Los Altos Hills. Ouch. It almost makes Palo Alto properties look cheap.

7   Ceffer   2013 Jun 8, 8:56am  

They should have bukake open houses, where the supplicant buyers endure multiple emissions and a panel of judges awards the contract.

The husbands should be forced to wear dog collars and open ass jodhpurs and run around on all fours barking while their wives perform.

After all, it is a seller's market and the real estate will double in a year, what better excuse to whore oneself?

8   EastCoastBubbleBoy   2013 Jun 8, 12:06pm  

if I were you, the next time show up 30 minutes early...

9   New Renter   2013 Jun 8, 1:54pm  

CaptainShuddup says

Esther way I wouldn't want to run into them again, what if he wants a go at you?

I disagree - show up at more open houses and if you run into that couple again tell then just after they left you had a hot biflexible lesbian couple give you a better offer. Tell the husband/wife that the lesbian deal fell through and the lesbians gave you a similar offer on this house but you'll be happy to entertain other offers.

I'm sure you can think of something appropriate. You seem to have quite an imagination.

10   Robber Baron Elite Scum   2013 Jun 8, 2:34pm  

Ask the wife to jerk your Johnson with her pedicured feet and swallow the load for faster closing.

And if they need help with faking documents for the mortgage to be approved, ask the wife to let you blow your sperm load inside her pussy and carry the baby of a Realtor®...

Either the husband will agree that his wife will give birth to a child other than his and he will raise a child that his not his but a Realtor®'s or the Realtor® & wife can keep the secret between them that they fucked until the Realtor®'s dick ejaculated sticky white fluid inside her pussy and the Husband is a fucking loser sucker pawn raising a child that is not his like the fucking pussy-whipped faggot that he is while every night the Realtor® and wife continue having unprotected pussy penetrative sex ending it with a ass to mouth bonus.

Female Realtor®'s will only get the offer accepted from a buyer who can make her pussy squirt.

Anyone else notice how porn films these days are now starting to feature a theme around real estate properties only being under contract after some nice hot penetrative fucking? It has basis in real life too.

ApocalypseFuck is a messenger from Satan. He was right this entire time.

11   Robber Baron Elite Scum   2013 Jun 8, 2:36pm  

Just make sure you stay away from any "woman" whose feet looks like this...

If it walks like a duck and looks like a duck, it probably is a duck.

Likewise, if it walks like a man and looks like a man, it probably is a man. Always remember that!

12   Ceffer   2013 Jun 8, 3:44pm  

Paris does kind of look like a tranny. She'll have to braise her naked biscuit live on national TV a few more times to exonerate herself.

There's a movie remake of "House of Wax" in which her character is skewered,

http://www.youtube.com/embed/LAPpEyJyE5g

part of the Victorian Imperative of the teen slasher genre. They probably gave her an eight ball to snort to get those tears.

13   Robber Baron Elite Scum   2013 Jun 8, 4:03pm  

She probably was born a male but her Father who is actually a high-end real estate broker decided to turn he into a she to make his properties close by offering some tranny pussy to potential buyers when the market was slow.

She's they only one in the Hilton family to come out as a used-up whore.

14   FunnyBayAreaBuyer   2013 Dec 29, 2:20am  

And, to cool down the heat ... a funny one from a while a go.

15   djsmps   2013 Dec 29, 3:56am  

Was she an amputee?

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