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I hope the poor guy didn't contract Kitchen Aids.
Not only did he violate her, but the warranty too.
You're supposed to go to a tanning salon for that.
I was afraid this might happen when toasters went on sale.
Did the toaster press charges?
Is he still using it to make toast?
I heard he was mad at the coffee maker and was trying to make it jealous.
There was a line in the movie Heavy Metal, wherein a buxom secretary was seduced by a robot with magic fingers.
Lying in bed after a lovin' session, she intones, "I don't think it can work. I'm afraid I'll come home and find you screwing the toaster!"
He told the toaster to sit on his lap and they would talk about the first thing that popped up.
An unidentified London man is nursing his knob after firefighters had to extract his penis from a toaster. It's unclear how the gentleman got it in there
Obviously he accidentally fell into the toaster penis first. How else could his penis have gotten into it? You'd be amazed at just how often guys fall penis first into something. I guess it's because the penis is so heavy it throws off your balance.
I heard the toaster froze up after an argument over whose turn it was to make breakfast. :P
Reminds me of this old joke:
A man, who was working in a restaurant, kept telling his wife that at work he has an irresistible urge to put his penis into a bread cutter. She was begging him to not do it. One day he comes home early and says that he couldn't resist it anymore and did put his penis inside the bread cutter today. Horrified, the wife asked what happened next. "They fired us both on the spot".
In related news, two guys have gotten their penis stuck in a mysterious device when they both fell penis first into the device at the same time.

That is a sexy little appliance!
That's a "hot dog toaster" and I had never seen or heard of one before. While it's an interesting looking device, I imagine that parts of it might be hard to clean.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/08/penis-stuck-in-toaster-firefighters_n_4064927.html
An unidentified London man is nursing his knob after firefighters had to extract his penis from a toaster. It's unclear how the gentleman got it in there, but London's bravest were there to butter his bread, The Mirror reports.
Jokes aside, London appears to have a penis problem. MSN reports that firefighters in the area have dealt with too many lodged members over the past three years.
"I don't know whether it's the 'Fifty Shades' effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up," London firefighter Dave Brown said.
Firefighters didn't say when the incident occurred, but they released the story in an attempt to stop people from having sex with their appliances -- or getting into other kinds of embarrassing trouble that diverts resources from emergency services.