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"Senile Douche, crazed on Levitra and covered with testosterone patches, snuffs Wayward Texter".
Ah, the good ole days of the National Enquirer.
Lt. Frank Drebin, cleaning out his desk and leaving the force:
"Just think: Next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested."
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http://news.yahoo.com/man-71-kills-florida-moviegoer-over-smartphone-002301474.html
"The police report said Reeves fired one shot from his .380 caliber semiautomatic handgun after the two men exchanged words over Oulson's use of his smartphone shortly before a screening of military action film "Lone Survivor.""
Reeves claimed that he fired because he felt he was "under threat" after the other guy threw a bag of popcorn at him.