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I say that Conservatives should move to Somalia. Gays and Witches not tolerated, guns plentiful, family and clan values, little taxes, unregulated markets, etc.
They allow bronze smelting and the use of the wheel.
Any true conservative would stay away from there, and become a hunter-gatherer in Galt's Gulch.
In conclusion: grunt.
Russia isn't a conservative utopia because most Russians (except 1% of Moscow Liberals in the Intn'l Sense of the Term) believe in national health care, gun control, access to sex ed and birth control, and free education.
When the elderly babushka can't water her lawn anymore, no conservative passes and screams "Ma Property Values!" and call code enforcement, who promptly shows up with a $250 fine. Nor does anybody report her for taking in washing and hanging the clothes in the front yard of her cottage. And certainly not for growing tomatoes and turnips in her front yard, either - Russians would consider that nuts, something even Stalin or Beria wouldn't do.
Here's a great example from a Red State, a notice received within 24 hours of a fun family project of building a cardbox box castle wth their kids:
http://www.okcfox.com/story/28726941/family-receives-notice-to-remove-cardboard-castle-from-front-lawn-or-face-fine
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