patrick.net

www.youtube.com/embed/SoK7xUFmaY4

Again. Trump humor thread. I get it TPB. You're triggered.

Did you see the video showing Obama's out right lies about himself?
He's really a Muslim with no birth certificate married to a man, borrowing people's kids to keep a front.
Well I don't want to sound superficial he's much more than that but the video could only cover so much of his graft.

Tenpoundbass says

He's really a Muslim with no birth certificate married to a man, borrowing people's kids to keep a front.

The funny things is, I kind of almost believe that you believe that.

This is a new born puppy. In NY State if this puppy were killed because it was unwanted, by injection or by snipping it’s spinal cord with scissors, the person who did that would be charged with animal abuse. If it’s a human child, it is legal. Let that sink in

Tenpoundbass says

quote

My only problem here is that she was arrested, and not given a medal for disciplining the little assholes.

It's not just god. It's ethics, morality, common sense, border security, jobs, economy, life (not abortions), making America a great place to raise a family.

Democrats just bring all the trashy and irresponsible behavior, and expect to socialize it to the rest of us.

Tenpoundbass says

This is newly elected Michigan Congress woman Rashida Tliab being thrown out of a Trump rally in 2016 for causing a disturbance. The Trojan Horse has arrived. Better wake up America. In other words people. This pathetic racist piece of Brown trash, went to peaceful Trump Rallies, shouted racist violent comments at America and Trump supporters. Got thrown out, then called up journalists and said Trump was the Racist. This piece of Shit got elected for that.

Tenpoundbass says

This is newly elected Michigan Congress woman Rashida Tliab being thrown out of a Trump rally in 2016 for causing a disturbance. The Trojan Horse has arrived. Better wake up America. In other words people. This pathetic racist piece of Brown trash, went to peaceful Trump Rallies, shouted racist violent comments at America and Trump supporters. Got thrown out, then called up journalists and said Trump was the Racist. This piece of Shit got elected for that.

Northam ran these kinds of ads:

www.youtube.com/embed/SHZvVsGGY-U

Eating with hands is great progress from head in trough” say Trump’s keepers !

“The President has adapted brilliantly to using his primitive forehands to grasp burgers just long enough to toss them into his open mouthparts,” explained Sarah Sanders, the White House’s animal behaviourist and ex circus bear wrestler.

“But thankfully, the good Lord intelligently designed the President’s piggy fingers fractionally short of the length required to pick up a Big Mac, which could so easily get stuck in his gullet,” continued Ms Sanders, as she hauled Mr Trump’s gold-rimmed marble feeding-trough out into the White House’s back yard.

“So we ain’t gonna be needing the old chuck-feeder no more, and that should hopefully reduce the chances of the President drowning in his favourite McSlurry.”

According to sources too close to Mr Trump, he can still only use his even-smaller hind hands for clutching genitals, be they his own or a passing female’s.

However, some dieticians and Democrats are concerned that this sudden evolution in the President’s eating abilities will put him at greater risk of ‘fast food inflation’ – and if there’s one thing worse than a dumb pig in charge, then it’s a fat dumb pig in charge.

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2019/02/04/eating-with-hands-is-great-progress-from-head-in-trough-say-trumps-keepers/

Tenpoundbass says

If it’s a human child, it is legal. Let that sink in

The only people that are going to buy your ridiculously dishonest straw man that democrats are okay with killing "children" or new born babies are fellow TRump Cucks. Hell even most of them won't stoop to such stupidity, but they might applaud you for reaching so far in to unreality to find a critique of democrats.

Well they are moochers. It's the mother and father's responsibility to care for the child once they're born. I don't see anything wrong with what they're saying, especially if it's a single mom. The majority of prison inmates are the offspring of single moms. From time immemorial having a child within the context of a family was seen as a personal issue between it and its parents, not a joint venture to be funded by the rest of society.

marcus says

Mom was either unmarried or doesn't generate income?

Since when is it moral to subsidize Women to be bastard factories?

We didn't have rampant single motherhood - no where even remotely close to what it is today - until Welfare came along.

marcus says

Lolz, literally every word of this meme is a lie.

"Almost" "every" "major player" = Manafort, roger stone, and some Greek intern?

TDS is real, apparently it kills humor

Kakistocracy says

Proof the left doesnt understand basic math

God calls press conference

The supreme being called a rare press conference today to insure that mankind was clear on his position.

Reading from a prepared statement God bellowed: “Today, Sarah Huckabee Sanders stated that I, GOD (thunder clap!), wanted Donald Trump to become president!

Nothing and I repeat NOTHING could be further from the heavenly truth.

Donald Trump is a lying, cheating bag of excrement and not one of my children. HIs soul has been owned by Beelzebub since he was a child.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, one of my misguided and sad creations, is mixing religion and politics…AGAIN (lightning bolt)!

Also, The evangelicals who have supported this slime bucket by ignored his many sins will be in for a big surprise on judgment day!”

He closed by creating a burning bush that spelled out, SINGLE PAYER!

https://www.whatthortoldme.com/god-calls-press-conference/

CBOEtrader says

Manafort, roger stone, and some Greek intern?

Flyn, Gates, Cohen. Add to that the cabinet resignations for corrupt practice. It isn't pretty, is it? Is it over?

Wut no Trump cartoon today?

A handful of people on process charges. Two guys on fiscal malfeasance that had nothing to do with Trump or the Election, much which began before he announced his candidacy.

Now it's wrapping up. Arresting Stone was a last grumpy FU, a shot in the dark to get something, and if not, punish Stone with a process charge.
"Stone said he had toast. He didn't say he had toast with butter and jam. Lying to a federal agent!"

There goes the Dem's biggest hopes.

rdm says

CBOEtrader says

Manafort, roger stone, and some Greek intern?

Flyn, Gates, Cohen. Add to that the cabinet resignations for corrupt practice. It isn't pretty, is it? Is it over?

Lol, process crimes and past shady business practices, nothing related to trump or his campaign.

More people were fired from the FBI, and were fired for actual related crimes. That's where your attention should be.

The key to all of this is "Andrew Weismann".

I believe he is also under federal investigation by the AUSA in Utah along with his co-conspirators Bruce Ohr, etc.

Weismann is a Democrat operative and hack who is within the federal bureaucracy at the Department of Justice along with Bruce Ohr, etc.

Almost all of the Process Crimes if was discovered from an IRS Audit would have resulted in nothing more than a fine the back taxes and plus interest.
None of these guys would have gone to jail.

A New Year message from President Trump

Right, all you schmucks and losers listen up because it’s time for my Noo Year’s Address to you – all of my loyal subjects both in American and around the world.

First off I’d like to tell everyone what a great job I’m doing as President, just the greatest job ever. Under my tenure, hey, isn’t that a great word… ‘tenure’ I just learned it, it means holding office apparently and using it makes me seem kinda smart. My speech writer told me to use it. He’s a real clever guy, just so clever.

Anyway, this year has seen my administration go from strength to strength as my many appointments of chief aides and advisors on weekly rotation and short-term contracts has helped stabilise our government. By the way, any of those guys who say they left of their own accord are peddling FAKE NEWS. It’s just a bunch of crap. I fired them all. They were sad guys unable to cut it when the chips were down. Just the worst kinda people. Bums and deadbeat wasters.

I’ve had a great year on the world stage too travelling around the globe slapping down dictators, and negotiation great deals for the US. Other leaders are quite frankly in awe of me. I always see them looking right at me and whispering to one another when I enter a room. I don’t doubt what they’re saying is that I’m really amazing but of course international protocol and diplomacy won’t allow them to come right out and say it directly in front of the cameras.

And what about that dumpy little kid with the weird haircut out in Korea? I made a proper Potsie out of him, didn’t I? That was so brilliant the way I handled him. He ain’t firing nukes at anyone now, is he? Hehe!

I’ve had a couple of meetings with that dame Theresa May from Britain too. Now I ain’t gonna say a lot about her abilities, but if she’d turned up as a contestant on The Apprentice, that’s my top-rated award-winning TV show, then she’d not have made it beyond the first task. Knowhadda mean?

Wow, she’s bad. Just so bad and she’s making a total mess of getting rid of Europe. I’ve wanted go over there and fix it all up real good myself, but in the end I figure Europe really doesn’t matter a lot to the US so let them get on with it themselves.

I’ve got Putin back in his box too. When was the last time you saw him bare-chested riding a horse or jumping into an ice-pond in his birthday suit? He’s too busy panicking because now in me he has a worthy foe who cannot be duped. If Putin tries anything then I’m ready for him just as soon as he says I am.

Now if I can just make a slight deviation to talk about me for a moment. That Stormy Daniels story was nothing more than a put-up job by my opponents and the Lefties and I have to tell you it’s cost me a lot to sort it out. $130,000 currently and counting, possibly even my Presidency if I can’t pay off a few more folks to get the impeachment proceedings stopped.

On a sad note I’ve had to offer up up a lot of thoughts and prayers this year as many of our citizens have needlessly lost their lives. But here’s the thing, if people wouldn’t insist on going to shopping malls, concert halls schools and cinemas or enjoy spending leisure time in public places then they’d not be shot dead in cold blood by folks just wanting to honour the 2nd Amendment of our great constitution and exercise their right to bear arms.

Finally I’d like to say a few words about my First lady Stormy… I mean Melania. Wow! Is she still one red-hot babe or what?

OK, I gotta stop gabbing now so I’ll finish with this. To my core supporters I say I hope 2019 brings you all even more guns and automatic assault rifles than you know what to do with, as much roast squirrel and roadkill as you can scrape off the highway and a beautiful great big high wall, so goddamn high, just the highest.

Let’s all look forward to 2019 when together we can make USA even greater than I have done already.

God Bless America!

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2018/12/31/a-new-year-message-from-president-trump/