patrick.net

anonymous says

I thought the heaviest thing in the world was shit, it's so heavy even an elephant can't hold it.

Funny you mention this. One day I was droppin' a grumpy, and I wondered "how much does my shit weight?". I reached into the toilet with both hands, got a firm grip beneath my pile of stinky-ass poop, and gave it the ole heave-ho. Meanwhile, it escaped me that I still had my pants around my ankles and I wasn't done taking a dump. I had a putrid mess to clean up that day I tell you. Oh, and I threw out my back.