patrick.net

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The American Standard

President Trump and 12 of his cabinet members were arrested for voter fraud after the FBI determined that they were casting multiple ballots in hundreds of jurisdictions during the 2016 election. When FBI agents stormed the White House, they found the president and his cabinet engages in unspeakable sexual acts with puppies. After vomiting, the agents proceeded to arrest Trump and his fellow republicans.

While being taken away, Trump was heard saying...

"Do you know who I am? I'm the god-damn Twitter King. That's who I am! I am so going to tweet you a new asshole. You'll regret this."

All charges were dropped when Trump fired the entire FBI, defunded the bureau, and issued an executive order to disband it.

It's on the Internet, so it must be true. And if it's copy-n-pasted across various websites all ran by the same organization or set of nutcases, then it's clearly important and real news.

#politics