patrick.net

I have to wash myself with a rag on a stick, my pants all have a bungy cord fixed to them so I can step into them then pull the bungy cord.
Remember that time you sat in that chair and it was broke? That was ME!
Remember that time you were at the all you can eat buffet and you were salivating at the succulent Dim Sum dumplings on the buffet but some fat man took every damn one of them before you could get to them? That was ME!
Remember that guy that was too fat to fly so all of the airlines ripped out the safe tested seats and replaced them with glorified Beach Chairs with no room to adjust your legs?
That was Me!
Remember that huge fat ass that lives in your mind rent free while he just laughs at your stupid ass because he's not that shallow and don't give three shits what you think his 235lb 5'11.5 " stature because Liberals don't mean fuck all to him. That was ME!