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I don't get what's in the green box.

I don't get what's in the green box.

"Democrats" are now identical with what they professed to hate just two decades ago.

I don't get what's in the green box.

In New Matrix Movie, Neo To Just Tell Humans To Stay Home, Stay Safe In Their Pods

BURBANK, CA—The Matrix was a groundbreaking science fiction film with a lot to say about dystopian governments, the dangers of technology, and the need to rebel against authoritarian systems.

So, of course, the movie's message is very out of step with American culture in 2021. To that end, the upcoming entry in the franchise, The Matrix Resurrections, will have Neo just telling all the humans to stay home and stay safe in their pods.

"Alright, listen up, everybody," Neo says after exiting the Matrix. "The important thing here is your health and safety. We're all just going to stay home and stay safe in these nice, comfortable pods. It's much less dangerous than being free in the real world."

"@#$% your freedoms!" he then shouts at some humans waking up from the Matrix. "Do you want grandma to die?!" He immediately alerts the machines in charge of making sure humanity is safe, and the humans are mercifully killed.

Neo then turns over the members of the human resistance to the authorities for endangering everyone's health and is praised as a hero.

MIAMI, FL—Progressives across the nation cheered wildly as a biological male absolutely pummeled a woman in an MMA fight.

“You love to see it,” said Katherine Freedle, women’s rights activist. “This is what we’ve been fighting for for decades. Finally, we’ve reached a point of equality where it’s okay for a grown man to beat the tar out of a woman on national television.”

“Alana McLaughlin was so brave to get out there and risk everything!” Freedle continued. “Sure, McLaughlin has benefited from a lifetime of testosterone, increased muscle mass, and bone density, but it must’ve taken some real…um, some real courage to put yourself out there like that and be seen by the world!”

Despite the cheers, and praises from progressives, many backward, transphobic conservatives had a hard time even watching the fight. “It just wasn’t right, ya know? Made me sick to even look at,” said George Harper. “I mean the guy just clobbered this woman, and somehow they were able to celebrate it!”

In a post-match statement, McLaughlin said that hopefully this has been an encouragement and inspiration for others to stand up, and be brave also. “In fact, this is only the beginning, and we won't stop here. One day we will defeat ageism too, and allow teenage girls to fight fully grown adult males!”