34
4

Political Humor Thread


 invite response                
2019 Feb 17, 4:30pm   3,095,348 views  41,987 comments

by Patrick   ➕follow (61)   💰tip   ignore  

« First        Comments 12,975 - 13,014 of 41,987       Last »     Search these comments

12989   Patrick   2022 Jan 10, 11:07am  

https://babylonbee.com/news/pfizer-promises-omicron-vaccine-will-be-ready-in-time-for-their-q1-earnings-report?source=patrick.net


NEW YORK—During their monthly shareholder meeting, Pfizer announced that an updated vaccine for the Omicron variant will be ready in time for their Q1 Earnings Report.

"We are committed to the longevity of this company," said Pfizer CEO, Derrick Pfizer. "As they say in the vaccine business, 'if you're not jabbing, you're lagging.' We understand that endless new vaccines are critical to our bottom line ever since I bought that giant space yacht."

Pfizer stockholder Bill Gates expressed some confusion that the vaccine wasn't already available. "I know I'm not a doctor, but I sort of invented Windows. It can't be that hard."

Pfizer's leadership remained firm. "We need to maintain our rigorous testing standards, but we should still be in good shape if we skip animal testing and go straight to children. You can't make an omelet unless you break a few eggs, I always say."

"I invented that phrase," interjected Gates.

According to sources, a loud audible sigh could be heard over the audio feed. "Can we hear from some stockholders who aren't Bill Gates?" asked Derrick Pfizer.

Several members of Congress proceeded to ask if adding some masks would make the vaccine work better.

Members of the Pfizer board, speaking remotely from quarantine yachts off the coast of New York, were in agreement that masks were not the same thing as vaccines and you can't mix the two, but they'd ask officials in China to be sure. "We get most of our ideas from them," said one board member.
12998   Ceffer   2022 Jan 10, 12:31pm  

"The Illuminati card game created in 1982.

It's all a game, know the rules."
13002   Ceffer   2022 Jan 10, 1:20pm  

"The Omicron specific vaccine is really cool. It has a kill to cure ratio of 10,000:1, unlike our previous feeble attempts at democide! Of course, you can always consider death a kind of cure, too, LOLZ!"
https://t.me/WeTheMedia/46211?source=patrick.net
13003   Ceffer   2022 Jan 10, 1:59pm  

Trump cracks me up:
"The Trump Dump for another Republican"
https://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1303234/pg1?source=patrick.net

“Is he crazy or just stupid?” “Now he thinks he has time, and those are the only ones, the weak, who will break away. Even though his election will not be coming up for 5 years, I will never endorse this jerk again,” Trump said.
13008   Ceffer   2022 Jan 10, 2:19pm  

Hmm, is that Nuremberg Noose getting too close for comfort?
13009   Ceffer   2022 Jan 10, 2:23pm  

Saget auditioning for 'Tales From The Crypt':
13011   Ceffer   2022 Jan 10, 5:48pm  

One man's answer to the mask mandates:
13013   Ceffer   2022 Jan 10, 8:11pm  

Move over AOC, you have competition in the Supreme Court:
13014   ForcedTQ   2022 Jan 10, 8:59pm  

Ceffer says
Move over AOC, you have competition in the Supreme Court:


#actuallystupidcunt

When caught spewing garbage like this any SCJ should be removed from their seat as they clearly do not know a fucking thing about the US Constitution

« First        Comments 12,975 - 13,014 of 41,987       Last »     Search these comments

Please register to comment:

api   best comments   contact   latest images   memes   one year ago   random   suggestions   gaiste