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Political Humor Thread


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2019 Feb 17, 4:30pm   3,118,081 views  42,081 comments

by Patrick   ➕follow (60)   💰tip   ignore  

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8567   Tenpoundbass   2021 Mar 19, 2:07pm  

WITH AUDIO


8569   Patrick   2021 Mar 19, 10:46pm  

8570   Patrick   2021 Mar 20, 9:36am  



BEIJING—The Chinese military has announced that they will no longer be investing in weapons, tanks, aircraft, or traditional warfare training techniques. Instead, the People's Liberation Army will simply be trained to shout the wrong pronouns at U.S. soldiers, who will collapse and shake uncontrollably at the advanced maneuver.

"Brave soldiers of the People's Liberation Army, prepare to launch a pronoun assault!" cried one platoon leader in a training exercise. "Go!"

The Chinese soldiers then began shouting "He/Him!" and "She/Her!" at American soldiers, whom Biden had loaned to the Chinese government for the practice session. They immediately collapsed to the floor. "No!!! I'm a xe/xer; it says so right on my dog tags!" cried one weeping American soldier huddled in the corner in the fetal position, rocking back and forth. "You can't call me the wrong pronoun -- it's literally violence! It's against the Geneva Convention!"

"President Biden will be hearing about this!" he shouted as he ran away.

"See? That's all we need to do to defeat the puny American soldiers," said the sergeant. "We don't even need to fire a shot. We just need to say the mean words they don't like."

A recent computer simulation predicted that using this tactic, the Chinese military would defeat America in approximately seven minutes.
8580   RWSGFY   2021 Mar 22, 8:48pm  

No way! It looked sooo plausible and realistic!
8581   Tenpoundbass   2021 Mar 23, 8:00am  

Probably more true than not. Left leaning people of color love to abuse Old White people in their care.


8586   Onvacation   2021 Mar 23, 2:55pm  

ALTERNATIVE MATH - THE LIBERAL MINDSET

Not new but still funny.
8587   Onvacation   2021 Mar 23, 2:57pm  

Tenpoundbass says


It just goes to show the near impossibility of disarming people.
8588   richwicks   2021 Mar 23, 3:53pm  

Patrick says


I'm curious about your opinion on this @Patrick.

I don't think Muslims can be condemned for 9/11 - even if I accept the conventional story.

In the same way, I don't think white people, or Jewish people, of today, can be condemned for slavery today when white people largely eliminated it. And by "largely eliminated it" I mean the US still has slavery - read the 13th amendment. Prisoners are used for slave labor today.

Not only did I have no control over my ancestors, at least 1/2 of my ancestors weren't in the United States until 1900. 1/2 of my family escaped Poland just before Nazi Germany invaded it (that's where my genetically programmed paranoia comes from) the other half is from the potato famine in Ireland - that predates the civil war, but none of my ancestors had black slaves. My father's side of the family is a bit ambiguous. My father was adopted from Kentucky, my father's parents, grew up in Northern NY. My great grandfather had a schism in his family - he could not read nor write, so 1/2 the family decided to spell their name "Weeks" and the other half is "Wicks". We don't know the history beyond him and his wife. They were poor farmers.
8589   Patrick   2021 Mar 23, 6:01pm  

Islam demands the murder of all infidels who refuse to convert or pay the jizya, and demands the murder of Muslims who try to leave Islam. This has been part of Islam from its very beginning.

I don't condemn all Muslims for 9/11, but I do blame Islam the religion. It's the worst religion by far.

Without Islam, there would have been no 9/11. They were Islamic fanatics motivated by Islam to die in order to kill Americans.

Slavery has no particular relation to white people. All people, everywhere on earth, have had slavery. Most of the blacks imported into the American south were enslaved in Africa by other black people and then sold.

Even freed black people in the south owned black slaves. American Indians owned black slaves.

The word "slave" is derived from the many Slavs who were captured by Muslims and enslaved.

Saint Patrick was a Romanized Celt captured from what is now Britain and enslaved by Irish pirates. He learned the language, escaped, and came back on a mission to convert them, which worked.
8590   Patrick   2021 Mar 23, 6:52pm  

richwicks says
My father's side of the family is a bit ambiguous.


Still, it doesn't matter what your ancestors did or did not do. They are not you.

The bible is not consistent about this, but here's a verse I definitely agree with:

Ezekiel 18:20

The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.


richwicks says
We don't know the history beyond him and his wife. They were poor farmers.



You could do one of those DNA tests to find relatives, but of course you then also give up a lot of privacy.
8595   richwicks   2021 Mar 23, 7:34pm  

Patrick says
Without Islam, there would have been no 9/11. They were Islamic fanatics motivated by Islam to die in order to kill Americans.


There's two parts to this.

First, I'm not certain Islamic fundamentalists were responsible for 9/11 and if they were, they were mostly from Saudi Arabia, a US "ally"

Second - cui bono? I'm not at all certain that 9/11 wasn't a false flag attack. A "new pearl harbor" attack was specified as a requirement for endless war in the paper "Rebuilding America's Defenses" in 2000. https://web.archive.org/web/20130501130739/http://www.newamericancentury.org/RebuildingAmericasDefenses.pdf page 63, first full paragraph. How convenient that happened...

Who benefited from this? I think our MIC was the biggest benefactor. They want war, endless war.

WRT to slaves, previous to that, conquerors simply killed off the men. It was an improvement to make them slaves. It was an improvement now viewed as a horror. If conquerors simply murdered them, they would be forgotten.

We advance tremendously, in only a few hundred years. We live in interesting times. We have real struggles with past morality, however, we are constantly distracted with trivialities, like if Pepe LePew is a rapist.
8596   FortwayeAsFuckJoeBiden   2021 Mar 23, 7:39pm  

Onvacation says
Tenpoundbass says


It just goes to show the near impossibility of disarming people.


They don’t need to disarm everyone, just enough to rule.
8597   richwicks   2021 Mar 23, 7:44pm  

Patrick says
The bible is not consistent about this, but here's a verse I definitely agree with:

Ezekiel 18:20

The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.


Are you religious?

It may be too personal a question to ask, but I a was a very HARD atheist at one point. I would consider myself still an atheist, but I recognize the ENORMOUS value of religion which I wanted to stamp out, in m search for "truth", ruthlessly. I was absolutely wrong in that viewpoint. Truth isn't that important.

I think the people who created Western religion they did it as a balance against government knowing they were doing this. It is incredibly brilliant. They did this not do to exploit but to balance. Whether they believed in the religion or not, they did the greatest service to Western civilization. It is certainly a pushback from authoritarianism.

To be certain, the religion has been exploited, but it's voluntary exploitation, that's a damned bit better than forced exploitation. Taxation versus tithing? If I only did tithing, that would save me 10's of thousands a year and anybody can drop out of it.
8598   Patrick   2021 Mar 23, 8:08pm  

I'm not a believer exactly, but I think religion has a lot of value even if you don't believe literally. Community, a set of rules, and encouragement to treat others as you wish to be treated.
8599   FortwayeAsFuckJoeBiden   2021 Mar 23, 8:14pm  

Patrick says
I'm not a believer exactly, but I think religion has a lot of value even if you don't believe literally. Community, a set of rules, and encouragement to treat others as you wish to be treated.


Kind of same here. Religion makes people wise. It’s important. Smart isn’t going to do this.
8600   richwicks   2021 Mar 24, 4:35am  

Fortwaynemobile says
Patrick says
I'm not a believer exactly, but I think religion has a lot of value even if you don't believe literally. Community, a set of rules, and encouragement to treat others as you wish to be treated.


Kind of same here. Religion makes people wise. It’s important. Smart isn’t going to do this.


I also see value in it now. Not to control, but to consolidate. I agree with the values it exports.

I see religion as a stabilizing force. Like a stake that prevents people from wandering too far.
8601   richwicks   2021 Mar 24, 4:35am  

Fortwaynemobile says
Patrick says
I'm not a believer exactly, but I think religion has a lot of value even if you don't believe literally. Community, a set of rules, and encouragement to treat others as you wish to be treated.


Kind of same here. Religion makes people wise. It’s important. Smart isn’t going to do this.


I also see value in it now. Not to control, but to consolidate. I agree with the values it exports.

I see religion as a stabilizing force. Like a stake that prevents people from wandering too far.
8602   Tenpoundbass   2021 Mar 24, 6:39am  

Patrick says
I'm not a believer exactly, but I think religion has a lot of value even if you don't believe literally. Community, a set of rules, and encouragement to treat others as you wish to be treated.


My Dad was an devout ashiest, and a firm believer in Voltaire's notion about the necessity of religion, if God didn't exist.
8604   Tenpoundbass   2021 Mar 24, 7:26am  

Here's one for Marcus or any Commie lurkers.


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